Stop it right now. You are NTA. It’s your house, your home, that you worked hard to get. I will tell you what happens if your parents move in: it will be just like living again in your parental home. Your parents will butt in, will comment on what you do and especially on what you don’t do. If your parents worry about retirement at this age, it’s a bit too late for that: they should have taken measures before this. You are not the means to make up for their negligence. Your parents are using emotional blackmail to get what they want. It’s simply a parent’s duty to bring up their children so that they can go out in the world and make a life for themselves, so no, you don’t owe them your house. Of course you’re grateful for what they did, but it doesn’t follow that they have a right to your house. Did their parents have a right to theirs? Did they take their parents in? They can spend more time with you in another way besides living in your house. If you take them in, are you sure you can get them out if things don’t work out? Why would your parents want to run that risk? I wouldn’t dream of living in my son’s apartment. Not that I don’t love him, but he needs his own life and I need mine. That way, we won’t get on each other’s nerves. No, in order to preserve a good relationship with your parents it’s imperative that you don’t let them live with you. Your parents might not see it that way unless you tell them. You don’t need to ‘give back’ to your parents. Your parents should be happy and thankful that their child in these difficult times has a good job and now his own home. You are not an alternative piggy bank. As for other family members, let them offer their homes to your parents. I know, you don’t want to risk your relationship with your parents, but it’s clear, to me at least, that you think more highly of them than they do of you. Tell them, lovingly but firmly, NO

Absolutely NTA. No no no no no do not let them move in. Like me they had their chance to set up house together, raise their family and the happiest I have been is to see them fly the nest and go on to live independently and able to support themselves. My work is done and I’m so very happy to see them set out on their life adventures doing what they want to do.

Do I want to be in their lives? Of course I do but I don’t want to be their life. I don’t want them to feel or be the person stopping their independence. Maybe at some point in life I will live with them again – maybe not. Who knows the future but I don’t want them not to have the opportunity to live life as they want, making their own independent decisions and choices.

I have too many friends who spent their lives permanently with their parents and they didn’t have a life, weren’t able to meet a partner, holidayed always with their parents snd now their parents are gone and they are just lost and very alone . I don’t want to do that with mine. I’m glad to be in their lives just not be their life.

NTA. Your parents have a duty of care to look after you until adulthood (in my country, that’s 18, though I would take that to mean the end of formal schooling if that comes afterwards). They’re the ones who chose to have you, after all. You don’t owe them anything other than respect and consideration (unless they’re actually abusive, of course) for taking that care. You certainly don’t owe them money.

Anything they did for you after that point is a gift, and in normal loving families, they’d be happy to do what they can as part of setting you up for a successful life. If they had fallen on hard times, I would certainly consider that something I’d be prepared to pay back if things soured.

They don’t have the right to demand a living space from you. As far as I’m concerned, they also owe you independence, as that’s part of being an adult. They could always downsize if they’re really that hard up. You have offered to assist them with rent, and that seems fair since they let you live with them for essentially a rent reduction.

Stand your ground.

NTA. I really dislike when people make ‘requests’ that are actually demands. Their retirement is really up to them to figure out. It’s unfortunate if they’ve prioritized paying for your university instead of looking after their retirement, but this is not something you force them to do. It’s a choice they made, just like how it was their choice to have you in the first place. You don’t owe them for that! Ultimately, you are approaching middle age and it’s reasonable to want your own space. Your parents and other family members need to respect that and be happy for you. Ultimately it’s up to everyone to make sure they have the means to take care of their own future needs, which you are doing with this milestone purchase of a home. Sorry you’re in this awkward position OP. I’ve seen similar scenarios play out with friends and I have to stress that you need to keep some clear boundaries in place. You can help with rent if you’re able to, but I’d be very careful about accidentally becoming their entire retirement plan.

Your parents are being ridiculous and selfish. When you choose to have kids, you raise them, and then you set them free, to create their own independent lives and relationships of their own, and perhaps kids of their own. Just like your parents did. Just like I did.

Read between the lines. If they moved in, they’re in for life. You are their retirement plan and free elder care, they’re not going anywhere. Good luck in finding a significant other who would put up with that! They’d basically ruin your life.

Keep saying no. Just the one word “No”, which is a complete sentence. If they don’t stop, end the conversation and put them on a time-out. Go live your life, you only get one. I’m speaking as a mom of two adults around your age, and I’d never dream of doing this shit to them.

NTA.

NTA. Were you living with your parents right before buying your home? Congrats on the house! If they need help, they should discuss this with you and your siblings (if there are others) ahead of time with no expectations that anyone can take them in. If their goal is to downsize and save money, they still can do so by moving into a smaller apt with lower rent. They can sell some of there belongings as well to make some money as they downsize. You offered to help with rent so it’s odd they turned that down. But it sounds like they have other intentions in mind if they’re pressuring you to take them in. Maybe their situation is more critical than you know – about to be evicted, they want to retire now but don’t have the funds, health issues, etc? Respectfully, stand your ground. 

Your kitchen will be your mom’s kitchen.
Your living room will be your dad’s living room.
Your TV will be their tv.
Your schedule will be theirs to critique.
Your design choices will become your mom’s to approve.

You will be stressed, anxious, and second-tier. In your own house.

Now. That being said. I look forward to the day I can offer housing to my aging parents… in their late 70s and 80s. I’ll have a bigger house, more space, and they’ll likely need support. It’ll be my choice.

You’re in your FIRST house for the first time, and your parents are healthy! This boundary doesn’t need to be crossed yet. Shame on them for shaming you.

NTA. As a parent with adult children who will do much better in life than I ever have, no, you don’t “owe” them this. You do all the things you do for your kids because what’s what a parent does, it’s literally THE job. You don’t do it so you can capitalize on their success/achievements later on, that’s just gross. You should help them, if reasonable, but to have them move in with you would be such a step backwards for you, please don’t give into anyone’s pressure to do that.

Set your boundaries and stick to them, don’t let anybody, even your parents, guilt or bully you into relenting.

How old are you?

Did you pay rent when you lived with your parents?

But it all really depends on how long you stayed with them past the age of 20 and what you contributed to their household.

It sounds like you were allowed to live with them.So you could save to buy a house. Without your parents you wouldn’t have with this house. This doesn’t mean that I think they should be allowed to live with you permanently.It means I have additional questions. And you may be a bit ungrateful.

NTA they chose to birth you and it was literally their job to feed, house, and clothe you in addition to raising you to adulthood. No adult child “owes” their parents. The whole point of parenthood is to raise independent, capable, successful adults with their own lives.

Wanting your own life and the privacy and reward of your own home is NOT selfish. Do not let anyone guilt you into changing your mind.

If you wouldn’t have offered to help in other ways you would be a huge AH. Especially if they helped find your college. The entitlement of some of these posters here is frightening when they say you owe your parents nothing. I can only hope their kids have the same attitude when they are older and leave them to fend for themselves, even though the parents didn’t even they were babies.

ESH. You have the right to your own space and you are legally obligated but I’d feel like shit knowing my parents are renting and can’t retire because they helped me get great start in life thru their sacrifices and now that I’m in a position to help, I don’t. I’d feel like scum.
You do you but you only have one set of parents and being in their 60’s; tomorrow isn’t promised.

Nta you have every right to have your own space.

Because let me tell you once you start helping them their entitlement will reach new highs. Just you watch.

Seen it time and time again.

Stand your ground. Keep healthy boundaries and remember they did their job as parent and it’s not for a pay day at the end. They made those choices. And they need to be okay with them.

I’m 74. Stand your ground. If they move in, they will further encroach on your life. I don’t understand how parents do and say these things. And other family chiming in. Good grief.

And if you wish to marry, s/he would be in a difficult situation.

Best of luck. Congratulations on the house. Sounds like an amazing first house, especially given the RE market.

NTA. Oh, boy! Here comes the guilt tripping and manipulation. I have the feeling that this is not new to you.

None of those reasons are a benefit to you. Let them continue their current lifestyle. It’s time for you to declare your independence.

Give them an inch and they will take a mile is a truism for a reason.

NTA. Don’t let them if you don’t want them to move in. This is your house; you worked to get here. This is what parents are supposed to prepare you for – – supporting yourself, living on your own. I say this as a 58 -year-old mother to an adult son, and I would never expect him to let me move in with him.

NTA. From the perspective of an older person, you need the independence of living alone. They need to figure out their own lives. I get along well with the grandkids who live with me, but if they get to a place where they want their own home, I will not insist on moving in with them.

NTA stand your ground, they chose to bring you into the world, they knew was sacrifices they would have to make the older you got.

This is your home for you!! Do not let anyone bully you, and the people saying you should honour them, get them to take your parents in !!!

Stand your ground. Yes help them financially if they NEED it. You’re the easy way out for them and just starting your life you have every right to say NO. They are being very selfish. Who cares what others think! Go low contact until they come back to reality.

NTA! You don’w owe your parents anything. They chose to have a child and they had to care for you once you came into this world, but there is NOTHING out there that says you have to reciprocate unless you want to. NOBODY OWES NO ONE A DARN THING!

NTA. Apparently they were just waiting for you to be able to support them. Nope. How do you downsize an apartment, if it’s too big they should have moved long ago. You would regret letting them move in. I was always a firm no.

NTA. Your house is just that, YOUR house. Don’t be guilt tripped into doing something you don’t want to. They’re already started manipulating you and getting family involved. Might want to start going LC or NC as this progresses.

NTA. You are an adult. You shouldn’t be living with your parents unless you all want to. If they pressure you, they are just being selfish and you should go NC for a few weeks till they realize this isn’t going to work.

I am sure you can come up with a way to let them move in with you and still maintain your privacy. You should appreciate the fact they are leaning on you for support. Isn’t that in itself something to be proud of?

NTA, especially since they seem to still be able to care for themselves. When they get to a point where they need additional support for sickness or just old age, that may be a different conversation.

Nta the minute you allow them into your home they will try to go back to the parent/child relationship and try to control every aspect and have no respect for you.

Don’t do it. Save your sanity

Do not let them emotionally manipulate you into allowing them to move in. I love my parents too but it’d be a giant nope burger if they tried to guilt me into allowing them to live in my house.

NTA- they chose to have you, they did their job for 18 years. If you let them in , they will never live out and you will be paying to be treated like a child again.

Given the reaction from everyone, there seems to be a deeper issue at hand since you offered to help them out with rent if that was the main reason.

NTAH as long as you can sleep well knowing you wouldn’t even have it without their sacrifices, then all power to you.

They literally expect you to be their retirement plan. Yikes. That’s some old school filial piety shit. NTA.

Just tell them you are not comfortable holding your bondage orgies in your home with them around.

Oy – they can live near you, not with you (of course, that may change when they are elderly).

Every day a new fake story. Wake up people. They all have the same pattern cmon.

Nta
Children are not retirement plans

They choose to sacrifice

NTA they did what they were supposed to do. You owe nothing.

NTA. You do not owe them providing them a place to live.

NTA.

You’re being emotionally blackmailed.

You don’t owe them a damn thing!

Only read the post. Don’t. NTA.