Recently, a coworker named Jen (34F) has repeatedly taken and eaten his labeled lunches, doing so three times over the past two weeks. After the initial incident where she claimed mistaken identity, Jen admitted she found the food too appealing to resist the second time. When confronted directly about stopping the behavior, she became defensive, dismissed the issue as being about “just food,” and has since been telling other colleagues that the user is overreacting, leading him to question if he was wrong to call her out.
I’m 30M, and I work in a small office with like 10 people. I always bring my lunch from home usually leftovers I cook myself, and I label it with my name in the fridge. Lately, my coworker “Jen” (34F) has been eating my food, like 3 times in the past 2 weeks!
First time, she said she “thought it was hers” even tho it had my name on it I let it slide but told her to be careful. Then it happened again and she just laughed and said, “Oh, it looked too good to resist!” I got annoyed and told her straight up to stop eating my lunch, that it’s not cool and I’m on a budget so I can’t keep replacing it.
She got all defensive, said I’m overreacting over “just food,” and now she’s telling everyone I’m being petty. Some coworkers think I should chill but I’m fed up she’s basically stealing from me!
AITA for calling her out like that?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is experiencing frustration and a sense of being wronged because a coworker is repeatedly taking his property, which he considers theft, especially given his budget constraints. The central conflict arises from the difference between OP’s firm belief that taking labeled food is unacceptable behavior versus Jen’s dismissive attitude that treats the issue as minor and inconsequential, further complicated by her attempt to garner social support against him.
The core question remains whether the OP was justified in firmly confronting Jen about repeatedly eating his labeled property, or if his directness made him seem petty in the context of the shared office environment. Readers must weigh the importance of personal boundaries and property rights against the social pressure to overlook minor infractions at work.
Here’s how people reacted:
OP, I think you need to start to padlock your food containers, I am not kidding, this or get one of those backpacks that has the insulated part so you can keep your food in there all day instead of putting it in the fridge, I get you are on a budget, I am too but I got mine for like £20.00 on amazon next day delivery and it came with an ice block to keep your stuff cold etc.
I’d also speak to someone higher up because Jen in just a C U Next Tuesday and will most likely go onto someone else’s lunch once she realises yours is no longer available!
P.S If she ever goes into your bag to take your food, that is straight up theft and you can report her 🙂
I asked my boss if he saw who drank my water and he said it was him because he was thirsty. I told him that he shouldn’t have done it because wasn’t his water and it was bought with my money, not his. It was inconsiderate of him and a lack of respect to just assume he could drink my water. It was the last time he did it. But some co-workers told me he used to do the same thing with their drinks that were on the rest room fridge. They just didn’t have the guts to call the boss on this.
As for the colleagues, you could mock up a “Who is cooking for Jen this week” rota and start filling it up with their names. After all it’s ‘just food’ and they should “chill” .
NTA
After she eats it, she won’t trust your cooking again and if she complains, you just made yourself traditional English pasties with some spice, it’s not your fault she chose to STEAL from you.
Maybe if she didn’t steal food, she’d be fine 🤷🏻♀️ can’t really go to HR and explain that she stole her coworkers lunch and that’s why she was shitting her brains out all day
Is there even a HR in the office being so small or a manager who fills that function? You might need to have a quiet chat with them since Jen is now making it a toxic work environment by being a gluttonous thief and trying to turn other colleagues against you once called her out. As for those coworkers who are telling you to chill – ask them if they are gifting their lunch to Jen since she’s so hard up and resorted to stealing other people’s lunches?
1. Take a picture of your lunch and quantify the cost.
2. Record each time it was stolen. What’s your threshold, $200? $300? $500?
3. Once this amount reaches X, draft an email to your boss and HR, attach your report with photos and quantified costs and say you are reporting her for theft. Don’t warn Jen, just do it when you’ve had enough of this freeloader.
4. You CAN file a police report if this person doesn’t stop.
The coworkers saying you should chill are welcome to give her their meals.
I’d go the petty way, though: do you know if there’s something she’s allergic to? You could label your food with “contains X ingredient”; or you could go nuclear and put in the fridge a bait lunch full of chilli, then enjoy her choking on her extra spicy food while you eat your lunch.
See if you can get a lunch box with a lock, or perhaps start bringing lunches you can hide in your desk so she can’t get to them.
People like her SUCK. I wish HR took this sort of stuff seriously
Or you can switch the name on one of Jen’s supporter food to yours to trick Jen and that colleague so he/she can feel what you are feeling currently.
1. Fuck Jen
2. Fuck Jen
3. Tell the coworkers who want you to “chill” that they are more than welcome to feed Jen with their lunches instead.
4. Fuck Jen
5. If you were to make a trapped lunch with something like a really spicy sauce maybe then she will learn.
For your coworkers telling you to chill, eat their food and see how they react.
If she is stealing food she is probably stealing other things.
The next time a coworker gives you shit, tell them you’re thrilled they’re volunteering to cover Jen’s lunches from now on & you’ll tell Jen right away.
i need names, looks, age, education, etc.
I would definitely invest in a lockable lunch box and also tell HR because this is not on