The situation escalated when she had a public meltdown in a parking lot because the father would not purchase a $50 Stanley tumbler, offering a $10 alternative instead. After stating that he does not have unlimited money and suggesting she get a job to fund her own trends, his wife and stepdaughter became upset, leaving him to question if his stance was wrong.
I 34M have a 16 year old teenage stepdaughter that’s become unbearable ever since she got TikTok. She wants Chick-fil-A three times a week, boba every other day,those “aesthetic” overpriced shirts and pants and it’s all pretty expensive.
She says things like “well my friends dad buys her everything she wants.”
Yesterday she had a meltdown in the parking lot because I wouldn’t buy her a $50 stanley tumbler, saying that instead i’d buy her a $10 tumbler. I told her I dont have unlimited money and if she wants to keep chasing trends, she’s going to need to find a job and start paying for her own nonsense.
Now my wife and her are upset at me, but i told my wife I can’t let her treat me like an ATM, i get buying her things here and there, but it’s out of control.
AITA?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) feels pressured by his stepdaughter’s escalating material demands, which he perceives as treating him like an ‘ATM,’ leading him to set a firm boundary against funding every new trend. His wife and stepdaughter, however, disagree with this restriction and are currently upset with him for refusing to meet these expensive expectations.
Should the OP maintain his position that the stepdaughter needs to contribute financially to her trend-based spending, or is he being unreasonable by not supporting her desires when her friends allegedly receive similar items from their parents?
Here’s how people reacted:
She’s 16. Oh, to be a 16 year old girl again. Moody, hormones all over the place. Wanting to fit in.
It’s normal that she wants to fit in with her peers. Social media is definitely putting pressure on this like never before. She needs to understand that online doesn’t always equal the norm.
That being said, it’s not far fetched she is behaving like this. I would, however, encourage her to get a job. I wanted Juicy Couture $200 hoodies at 15, and my parents couldn’t (and wouldn’t !) afford them. So I got a job, and afforded them myself .
It is what it is. She has to learn that these things are expensive, and not in your casual budget.
I’m more concerned about your wife, than your daughter, tbh. Does she know anything about your finances ?! Does she work? Let her discretionary income go to HER child.
You were very young when you birthed her. Have you ever gone to therapy for yourself? Because having a child while you were in high school must have been very difficult and you should have gone to some counseling to cope with that. Maybe you resent her a little?
If her job doesn’t interfere with school and grades, then fine. Maybe weekends only?
Can also ban TikTok on the phone. I’m still waiting for the government to ban that junk.
It’s easy to be annoyed with this behavior, but whens the last time yall sat down and explained budgeting with her? Or any financial responsibility?
I think she’s acting this way bc she has no clue about money. I think it’s time yall taught her. Speaking of tiktok, I’ve seen a few viral reels where parents do financial literacy and budgeting activities with their kids. It can even be fun!
Maybe try that out instead of judging her for not knowing things as a dumb teenager, idk
She’s acting entitled and she needs to learn the value of a dollar.
Telling a 16 year old to get a job is not unreasonable. When I was a kid, you were expected to get a job as soon as you legally could and before that we made money by babysitting or cutting lawns, shoveling snow or house sitting. Once we were old enough, mom and dad stopped funding the extras.
You and your wife need to get on the same page. If your stepdaughter doesn’t see reality, she’s going to get worse. There’s nothing more repulsive than an entitled adult!
Does your wife have a job?
Does your step daughter have an allowance?
There is the starting point.
Ask your mother. Use your allowance. And get a job.
All reasonable responses.
And NEVER believe a teen when they say – “all the other parents are doing it”. It’s a lie.
I pay for the basics my kids need (they are late teens/early adults) but if they want something more trendy outside of Christmas or birthdays they can buy it with their own earnings.
If you provide all her wants, she’ll never learn to do for herself.
Your approach is good parenting. Your wife is wrong on this.
INFO: Does the Wife work? If so she can pay from her own money instead of using you like an ATM like your entitled daughter who REALLY needs to get a job. Any job. After the first paycheck she’ll finally see the light and chill on the Chick-fil-A, Boba, Aesthetic clothing and $50 Stanley cup.
There are millions out there like her.
She’ll have a good following and make money in no time!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
But i would say at your kids age at 16, its near to late to change this aditude if her mom suports it.
This should have been dealt with when she was younger.
IF , its new , then you need to sit down with your wife again.
You should get her a job application to Chick Fil A, if she wants to eat there three times a week, at least she’ll get a discount (and she’ll have Sundays off).
If her mother won’t teach her about money then you have no chance. Start making financial barriers between you and the both of them. Your stepdaughter will drain your balance account for the next 10 years.
those have been out of style for months, is this a bot reposting content? Lol
So are you a wallet to her as well ?
Does she have an allowance or budget? Have you taught her any money management?