The user notes that their husband is circumcised, as are many men in their area, and they are happy with him as he is. However, they maintain that having a preference is valid, pointing out that the husband also has preferences, such as preferring tall women, which the user accepts despite being short. The user is now left wondering if they were wrong to voice this preference because the husband feels it was cruel, given that he cannot change his anatomy.
My husband and I were talking and the convo somehow got to circumcision (don’t even ask how). He mentioned that a lot of people choose to cut their sons for the benefit of their future female partners.
Without thinking a lot, I said “that’s insane to me because I’ve always preferred uncut men.”
Now, My husband is cut, as are most American men. I am perfectly happy with what he’s packing, but it’s true that I have a preference for uncut men. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a preference, especially since my husband has his own.
He’s mentioned preferring tall women and I had no problem with that at all even though I’m 5’4 on a good day. Because it’s a preference, not a requirement. But he seems to think I was cruel for mentioning my preference to him because he “can’t change his d*ck”.
But I reminded him he told me he prefers tall women and I can’t change my height but he’s convinced it’s completely different.
AITAH?
Conclusion
The user is currently caught between asserting their right to have a personal preference regarding physical attributes and acknowledging their husband’s feeling that stating this preference about his permanent state was hurtful. The central conflict lies in whether expressing a personal attraction preference is equivalent to criticizing an unchangeable aspect of their partner’s body.
The core question is whether it is acceptable to voice a physical preference about a partner’s body, especially one related to a past surgical decision, even if the preference is framed as non-essential, or if such a statement is inherently damaging when the partner cannot alter the feature in question?
Here’s how people reacted:
If a man were to tell his wife that he prefers a different style of vagina from hers, that might be pretty painful to hear. Same with a man. If my wife were to say one is better than the other, I’d be pretty hurt. It takes a lot for a person to strip themselves and be naked with someone. To have the person that you trust judge you as less than, it would hurt. It would damage confidence. The same can’t be said for height. You do not keep your height hidden from the public, and only share it intimately with someone you trust.
That’s not to say a person can’t have preference, but if they were weapons in an argument, attacking a persons genitals beats height talk 100% of the time. Without question.
Now you both have compared each other negatively to other partners or your general “preference”. That is going to be in both of your heads for as long as this relationship goes on.
You’re husband is more at fault for starting it, but you share some blame now as well.
Good luck, you’re gonna need it.
My GF has walked the line of mentioning height and muscle mass is a requirement (at least a low bar for both) and has assured me i meet these minimums, but i know im probably not REALLY anywhere near her preferred range (she had been single for a long time with no luck before me. Maybe willing to settle.) If she said it explicitly it would be far worse
But, while height isn’t linked to sexual pleasure, the foreskin is. While height is linked to physical attractiness/attraction, the foreskin is linked to your enjoyment of the sexual experience. It’s like your husband saying he prefers x-way labia. It has nothing to do with your general attractiveness or his attraction towards you, but it is something that makes his sexual experience more enjoyable. That’s why the height comparison isn’t a good one.
Sure, youre entitled to your preferences, but you criticized his penis. Taht’s always nuclear, and a very bad idea. And, his height preference isn’t the same. That puts it in a different category entirely then him preferring height.
Good luck repairing that. Beyond assholes here.
Sorry, YTA.
In my opinion, if one partner states their preference for a particular trait that their partner does have and can’t have for whatever reason, then they shouldn’t be surprised if the other partner does the same.
It’s a preference, much like him preferring tall women. You can’t truly change your height unless you wear heels 24/7 much like how he can’t change his circumcision. You didn’t critique his manhood but it seems he may be a little over sensitive on the subject.
You’re not inserting your lack of height inside him during sex. Totally different thing.
this is the biggest lie i ever heard in my life. Since WHEN men have been getting invasive procedures for the sake of women, aka female partners ?? this is bs !
However I do have a very strong opinion when it comes to the act of ripping a part of an infant’s genitalia off.
That being said, honestly is great but somethings just don’t need to be brought up. Like preferences in attraction that are impossible for your SO to make happen.
This is complete and utter bullshit.
he dishes it out but cant take it?
👀🍿
Stop.