>I am also planning to reverse my vasectomy.

Your choice. Shouldn’t affect her any more.

>She was very offended by it.

So? She can be offended. She’ll just have to learn to deal with her emotions. Her emotions aren’t your problem, especially now.

>She accused me of having another woman in mind.

Well… kinda, sorta eventually, right? She’s asked for a divorce. Why shouldn’t you consider the possibility of other women in the future? Are you supposed to join an order of monks? If so, might I suggest the [Benedictines](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benedictines)?

>served a shit sandwitch of divorce and I am not even allowed to reverse a vasectomy.

She’s being ridiculous. When you divorce, you lose the power to forbid. See: [https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2334246853498072](https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2334246853498072)

You are also now allowed to let the dishes pile up and clear the sink once a day if that’s what you prefer. And you can wear that old scruffy shirt she didn’t like.

NTA

Going forward: Locate a divorce attorney quickly. Ask then if it’s better for you to file first or to wait for her. Also ask if it’s wise to move out before filing– it may not be.

So the articles and videos your wife has been sending you were probably her efforts to save your marriage. She wanted you to understand her experience of things, and wanted you to demonstrate that you were willing to be considerate of her, and a partner in sharing the mental load.

I’m guessing she sent you “My wife divorced me because I left dishes by the sink”: https://mustbethistalltoride.com/2016/01/14/she-divorced-me-because-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink/

And/or perhaps the comic by French illustrator Emma about sharing mental load: https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/

By ignoring them, you were turning away from your relationship with your wife and toward divorce.

As for the vasectomy, you’re free to reverse it at your discretion after you’re divorced.

NTA for exercising bodily autonomy over reproductive decisions post divorce, YTA to yourself, your wife, your marriage, and your kids for your negligence and the resultant damage.

You are not the asshole for wanting to reverse your vasectomy, especially since you did it at your wife’s request and now she’s seeking a divorce. It’s understandable to feel like your choices regarding your own body should be yours to make, particularly in the context of an impending separation. However, it might be worth considering how this decision could affect the dynamics of your divorce and any potential future co-parenting situations if you do decide to have children later on. Open communication about your feelings could help clarify intentions and prevent misunderstandings, even if your relationship is ending.

You told her about it to enrage her. Simple as that.

If you were actually getting divorced, and you had a bit of game + not being ugly, you’d be out there laying pipe?/dropping logs/slangin snake and then when it got serious with someone who was of the age to be thinking family things they’d ask you how are your balls and then you’d say fine but isolated then they’d be like well you better reconnect that vas deferens if you want to be my baby daddy AND THEN you’d tell your current kids and maybe ex if that is how things are with you.

NAH – you’re within your rights to have a reversal at any time. I do understand why your wife is upset though that you put forth minimal effort (per her perspective or she wouldn’t have sent you that article) and seem to be open to taking on even more responsibility with someone else. If I was you, I’d probably at least wait and try out single parenting before you decide to do something surgical. I know quite a few parents who decided more kids was the last thing they wanted once they had to parent alone 50% of the time.

It is none of her business what you do with yourself after a divorce, so NTA on that front. But dude, you got a vasectomy for her but you won’t even read an article to save your marriage? I’m pretty sure I know the article, it’s not really about the dishes. If you think it’s ridiculous that she would divorce you over something so small, then it is no less ridiculous to not do something so small to keep your marriage together. So ESH on the bogger picture.

Your both assholes. She’s an AH for being offended about what you want to do with your body after the divorce. You are a major asshole because it seems like for m9nths She’s been hinting at wanting to work on things or giving you hints about it and you’ve ignored it and then don’t understand why she’d want a divorce. I mean how dense are you to not understand that if you don’t change or communicate you’ll be divorced. So yes you are an asshole

NTA. I want to divorce your wife reading this and I’m not even married to her.

At this point, she’s crying wolf. Threatening to file for divorce over every little thing. I’d file myself. Get your financials, your governmental stuff and your electronic and social media passwords in order, find the best attorney you can afford and file for divorce.

Time to pull the plug on this roller coaster of insanity you find yourself on.

How are you not allowed to get it reversed? Your body, your choice. End of discussion. Sounds like something else is going on here and what she really wants is to change (control) you. This is toxic.

Be thankful you didn’t have kids with her and get the hell out.

Than wait till you are sure you don’t make the same mistake again before you get it reversed. The last thing you need is to get baby trapped with someone worse.

There should be an “Am I the idiot” subreddit. The answer would be yes.
NTA. Your body your choice. But according to you, you have nobody in mind and don’t want more kids. Why not wait until you have someone who actually wants kids with you.
As for saving your marriage. Probably not gonna happen. Sounds like your wife fell deep into the “all husbands are bad” rabbit hole in TikTok or some other social media.

Why would you want to reverse your Vasectomy if you’re not planning on having kids. This seems very odd, like you’re trying to claim something back unnecessarily.
If you happen to meet someone and decide to have kids you can do it then. It makes no sense to do it now and seems like an unnecessary hassle, especially if you don’t want kids with any of the next x amount of people you become intimate with.

YTA

I doubt she’s wanting to divorce you over dishes.

You’re 40 years old, already have children, are possibly about to undergo a divorce and have no real plans or wants to have more children… It sounds like you told her you’re reversing your vasectomy specifically to upset her.

If you want to do it, it’s your body, but getting a reversal now, with no plans for more kids is just strange.

YTA there is a reason you immediately reversed the vasectomy and it was a F you to her. I am also guessing that it isn’t only dishes. You sound like you are a general AH.
So you reverse a vasectomy, potentially getting another woman pregnant. Karma would be having to pay child support for the next 18 years.
So good for her. She gets rid of a man baby.

NTA – however, I’d wait until the divorce is finalized or at least until you guys separate…the last thing you need to do is accidentally have a kid (or another one if you already do)

Btw doesn’t sound like she wants the divorce but for you to change in some aspects…need to decide what you want to do

NTA, talk to a lawyer BEFORE moving out. That maybe considered abandoning the home depending where you live and might count against you in the divorce.
Keep conversations to a bare minimum. You don’t owe her explanations or reasons for doing anything anymore. And go talk to a lawyer!!

My guy you’re 40. You really wanna be chasing down little shits well into your 50s? Especially if it’s with some random broad you had an oops with on some random night out?? I have a vasectomy and it’s wonderful.

YTA for even considering reversing a vasectomy. Fuck having kids.

You’re NTA for wanting to reverse your vasectomy, especially since you got it at your wife’s request and she’s now asking for a divorce. It’s your body and your choice, and it’s understandable that you want to regain your fertility, especially given the unexpected circumstances.

YTA. You already don’t communicate with your current/former partner. Why consider reversing a vasectomy until you figure out how to be in a healthy relationship with another person? Because it isn’t about wanting more kids, it’s about childishly getting back at your ex.

You can do with your body what you want. But since you already had the vasectomy, you shouldn’t reverse it until you want kids again. Why risk another surgery unless you need to?

NTA but that’s not a good decision for yourself, in my opinion.

This is a repost of a repost of a nonsensical fake story. I guess ChatGPT doesn’t know that vasectomy reversal is impossible years later, or that the only motive for trying it would be wanting kids. Why do people keep reposting this?

So the article isn’t about dishes, but I can tell by this post and your comments that it would be lost on you anyway. Either way, please don’t reverse the vasectomy because the world doesn’t need any more dumb people out there.

It doesn’t sound like this is about the dishes. Sounds like you aren’t pulling your weight around the house and she’s carrying both the mental and physical load of managing the household alone.

wait until you find someone you ACTUALLY WANT to have kids with and THEN reverse it.

why would you do an operation so you could maybe knock someone up accidentally. that’s illogical.

NTA

Sounds like it’s not about the dishes. But she’s definitely wants to have her cake and eat it too.
She wants to move off from you but she doesn’t want you to move off from her

Why not keep the vasectomy until you meet someone you *want* to have a child with? That way you’re not likely to get baby-trapped by someone who may not be your first choice.

NTA. If your wife has been hinting at divorce months ago, the problem is not the dishes, she’s just tired of hinting and ready for you to get on board with the divorce.

NTA

Tell your wife that it’s “your body, you choice.” Now, where have I heard that before?

Then move out and tell her to go fuck herself.

Why does she care if you do reverse it? Or if you do have another woman in mind? She’s divorcing you so she can go pound sand. 

She wants you gone and is now upset of the idea that you could have another woman? Sounds like leaving is a good idea bro. NTA

LOL this is just click-bait about the article on the dishes. Then to throw in the reversible vasectomy? YTA for a crap post.

You are not the antagonist for reversing the vasectomy, but you sure as hell were the antagonist in the marriage.

Why are you considering having more kids at the age of 40 in the middle of a divorce? That’s just a bad idea.

She doesn’t have any say in what you do with your body once she asked for a divorce.

Just ignore her.

NTA

Another woman in mind. In the future. Yes. I guess. Will she stay alone till she dies?

A lot of brand new accounts today on this subreddit. I don’t think this really happened.

NTA, your body your choice, she’s an AH for wanting to decide fore you .

She has zero say in what you do. Why do you think she does?

I guarantee she’s not divorcing you just because of dishes.