Before leaving for the MIL’s birthday dinner, the OP’s wife saw the gift, called the OP immature, but ultimately found the mug somewhat funny. At dinner, when the MIL opened the gift, her reaction was negative, and when teased by her other daughter, she became furious, grabbed the mug, and smashed it on the floor, resulting in her sustaining a significant cut on her ankle that required stitches. Now, the OP is facing blame from their wife, who insists they should pay the medical deductible because they caused the incident, leading the OP to question if they are truly responsible for the MIL’s extreme reaction.
Long story short, I was on Twitter a while ago and saw this ad for a political mug that made me chuckle, so I decided to buy it for my conservative mother-in-law as a gag gift because I loved the idea of the mug being gifted to someone who leans more conservative.
Last night, it was my MIL’s birthday, and I was getting ready with my wife to go to the restaurant where we would be eating. My wife saw the mug at home before we left as I was packing it into a gift bag, and she rolled her eyes, saying I was being immature, but she laughed at the mug, saying, “Well, it’s kinda funny, I’ll give you that.”
We eventually got to dinner, and the whole family was having a good time. Then, at the end, we all gave our gifts, and when my MIL opened mine, she realized what it was and had this sour look on her face while the mug earned a couple of chuckles.
My sister-in-law jokingly teased her, asking if she liked it. She just stood up and excused herself to use the bathroom. As she was about to leave, my sister-in-law said, “It’s just a joke, Mom,” and my MIL grabbed the mug furiously off the table and slammed it on the ground, shattering the glass.
A shard gave her a pretty sizable cut on her ankle.
She had to go get stitches for the cut, and my wife said that we should pay for the deductible because she claims I’m the cause of the entire incident, but I said no. she got mad at me, telling me that I was being immature.
We ended up paying for it anyway. Wife is still kindof angry and my MIL is still furious and refuses to talk to me saying that I’m a “communist”
Conclusion
The original poster feels unfairly blamed for the severe reaction caused by a gag gift they intended as a joke, especially since the harm resulted directly from the mother-in-law’s own choice to violently destroy the object. The central conflict is between the OP’s belief that one is responsible for their own actions, regardless of provocation, and the wife’s expectation that the OP must bear the financial consequences for intentionally introducing a highly sensitive item into a family celebration.
The core question for debate is where the responsibility lies: Should the OP be held financially accountable for the medical bills because their provocative gift instigated the volatile situation, or is the mother-in-law solely responsible for her explosive physical reaction to receiving a non-dangerous item?
Here’s how people reacted:
That’s where you could have jumped in with, “Truth hurts, doesn’t it?” No, you shouldn’t have had to pay the deductible for MIL’s tantrum. If she takes up drinking out of voter’s remorse, are you expected to pay for her liver transplant? Still, you have to live with your wife, so the deductible is a small price to pay. And as a bonus, MIL no longer speaks to you–that’s *priceless!*
Her tantrum was ridiculous and you shouldn’t have paid for the deductible, what else is she going to make you pay for now? But your gift sucks too.
ESH
And talk about being immature, MIL has that locked down.
So sorry you are dealing with that. People like your MIL will never get that they’re responsible for their actions.
As for this scenario NTA. She threw a tantrum and she’s the one who is immature. Even though you are NTA, you packed a punch with the joke but you’ve sure got your tail between your legs now. What happened?
Of course Reddit is going to champion for you since you “gave it” to a conservative but you are most certainly the asshole. Way to ruin her birthday.
My MIL have very opposing views and I manage to stay respectful and. Kind to her. It’s not that hard for a proper adult to do.
Instead mil is being rewarded for her poor behavior.
Nta.
How old is MIL????
That’s fucked. You and your wife are weak to have allowed that to occur.
There is absolutely no reason you should be paying because this grown woman had a childish outburst.
NTA
Still, YTA tho. But a justified one