After consulting a friend, the OP installed a hidden camera, which shockingly revealed that her husband was urinating into her food and beverages. Following this discovery, the OP reacted explosively, causing significant damage to his property. The husband is now pleading for reconciliation, claiming it was an attempt to fulfill a long-standing, non-consensual fetish, leaving the OP questioning whether to stay or leave.
I (32f) have been married to my husband (36m) for 4 years, and I am questioning who I married. He has a strange fetish where he wanted to pee on my face during sex, which I repeatedly and firmly told him I was not interested in.
He asked a few times but never pushed it, so I assumed the matter was dropped.
Months ago, I noticed my food tasting strange—my overnight oats, yogurt, and coffee tasted off, but I never became sick. I initially suspected the refrigerator or spoiled food. After discussing this stress with a friend, she suggested I place a camera near the fridge since only he and I live there.
The recording shockingly showed my husband taking the lid off my food and drinks, urinating in them, shaking the container, and replacing it.
I completely lost control. I broke his PS5, his TV, threw his clothes in the snow, and damaged his shoes. When he returned, I screamed at him. He began crying, begging, and claimed it was his fetish and he thought this was a way to do it without me knowing.
He stated we took vows and must work through it. I am currently staying at a friend’s house and have not told anyone else. He is pressuring me, saying I am ruining our marriage over a ‘mistake,’ but I find this act vile and I cannot look at him the same.
I need an outside perspective: am I the asshole for wanting a divorce, or should I try to forgive him?
Conclusion
The OP is in a state of extreme distress and betrayal following the discovery of her husband’s secretive and invasive actions. The conflict pits the husband’s insistence on working through his bizarre, non-consensual fetish against the OP’s justified feelings of violation and the destruction of trust in their marriage.
The core issue is whether this profound breach of trust, enacted through a fetishistic act hidden from the OP, constitutes an unforgivable violation warranting divorce, or if the husband’s promises of therapy and change are enough grounds for the OP to attempt to salvage the marriage. Should the OP prioritize her immediate safety and feelings of violation, or work through the marriage vows?
Here’s how people reacted:
Seek help. Leave him. This is absolutely unacceptable
That’s the correct way to handle it.
Or you could…. Nevermind, he’s not worth going to prison for. Just get away from him and let the courts handle him
If that is his fetish there is a person out there who will consent to that shit but he didn’t even give you a choice.
Imo it’s a form of abuse more than it is a kink.
Don’t even try to forgive him because when you ll leave him… respect yourself and leave because he clearly does not.
He is completly crazy.
Your story looks a little fake and hard to believe but if that’s really true, I’m really sorry.
ask.
Updateme
NTA but your husband is!!
That is straight up assault.
Your soon to be ex is a creep and mentally ill.
Hope you kept the recording, should definitely help with the case.