The core conflict arose when the boyfriend revealed that having a pet in the house bothers him, stating he is not a “dog person” and finds pets “too much work.” He then made the firm demand that if OP truly loved him, she should find another home for her dog. This demand led to immediate anger from the OP, who refused, causing the boyfriend to accuse her of choosing the dog over their future. The OP is now left wondering how to navigate this serious demand regarding her long-term companion.
Hey… so I (26F) have a golden retriever who I’ve had for 4 years. got her as a puppy, she’s my best friend, super well-trained, sweetest dog ever. my boyfriend (28M) and I have been dating for a little over a year and we started talking about moving in together.
he’s always known I have a dog but a few weeks ago he was like “I didn’t realize how much having a pet in the house would bother me” and I was like ???
he says he’s not a “dog person” and just thinks pets are “too much work.” and then he straight-up says if I really loved him I’d be willing to compromise and “find another home for her.” I literally laughed bc I thought he was joking.
he was not.
I told him absolutely not. my dog has been with me for years and she’s not going anywhere. he got all mad and said I was choosing a dog over our future. even told some of our friends and a couple of them were like “well if you really see a future with him maybe you should consider it” which NO.
like what?? he knew I had a dog this whole time. it’s not like I suddenly got one out of nowhere. I love my bf but I feel like this is a ridiculous thing to ask and idk how he thought this would go…
Conclusion
The OP is facing a significant relationship impasse, caught between her commitment to her loyal pet of four years and her boyfriend’s ultimatum regarding their shared future. The boyfriend’s demand, introduced late in the relationship despite his prior knowledge of the dog, forces the OP to confront whether his expectations align with the reality of her life and values.
The central question remains whether a genuine compromise can be found when one party demands the removal of a cherished, established family member, or if this incompatibility represents a fundamental incompatibility in their long-term visions. Can the relationship move forward when such a significant personal boundary has been aggressively crossed?
Here’s how people reacted:
NTA obviously, the funny thing about love and relationships is that you can always find someone else after the last, you can always move on from a house that crumbled from a weak foundation, carry what you’ve learned with you, and apply it into building a stronger foundation with someone else.
You deserve better.
He just proved that you’re not compatible with each other. He either accepts that you have a dog and won’t get rid of it or it’s time for the relationship to end.
If he decides to accept that you have a dog and stay, he needs to apologize for the asinine “if you loved me comment” and never say shit like that again.
Because, barring a life threatening allergy**, it is NEVER about the dog.** It’s about them trying to control who has access to you.
Protect your doggo, and protect your own future.
NTA.
It honestly sounds like a control thing – also if you move in with him he may abuse your dog. I wouldn’t risk it for the dogs sake.
He’s a manipulative and controlling asshole. Throw the whole “man” away.
NTA.
You need to NOPE right out of that relationship. .
Life is short. Don’t settle
Fuck that shit. Dump him like the rotten egg he is.
This guy ain’t it.
Tell your dog she’s the bestest good girl in the world and find a dog person to date.