When the OP gently raised concerns that the natural growth is becoming excessive and difficult to manage during their ritual, the wife strongly dismissed his request. She insists that he should support her natural choice, maintain the established routine, and that satisfying her is solely his responsibility. The OP is now conflicted, feeling that his preference regarding the length should also be considered, and he is seeking advice on how to navigate this impasse.
My wife and I are very into health and natural trends. We eat well and are both in good physical shape, sticking to Whole Foods.
Within the last year, as part of our health journey, she’s stopped shaving her…. Private area. Without getting to graphic, since we’ve been married, we have a daily nightly ritual where I spend around 30 minutes on her with my mouth before bed while she sips wine and unwinds.
While at first attractive to me for her to be comfortable in her own skin, it’s starting to get to be a full on bush and difficult to part around.
I’ve spoken to her about it and she says I should want her to be healthy and natural, it’s there for a reason, and that I need to keep up with our ritual. I love her deeply, she certainly recuperates and we get along well, but I feel like both of our preferences should be taken into consideration here?
When I bring it up, she tells me it’s her body and my responsibility to keep her satisfied. I totally agree and have consented to partaking, but shouldn’t I have a say in the length?
I prefer a good trim, certainly not bald, but a bush is a lot to keep up with.
We’re both in our mid 20s.
Conclusion
The central conflict revolves around the balance between the wife’s desire for natural bodily autonomy, framed within their shared health values, and the OP’s need for his own physical preferences to be respected within an intimate activity he willingly participates in. While the OP agrees to the activity, he feels his comfort and the feasibility of the maintenance required are being ignored.
The core question remains whether personal grooming choices within a long-term intimate relationship must always lean toward one partner’s preference for ‘natural’ expression, or if mutual compromise on maintenance, even for personal grooming, is necessary for sustained satisfaction. How can this couple find a middle ground that honors both the wife’s autonomy and the OP’s request for a manageable style?
Here’s how people reacted:
I do believe in the reasoning of “my body, my responsibility”. However, we also have to be considerate with our partner as well. I want my partner to love what she does to me and grossed because of unwanted hairterruptions to the deed! 🙂
As for the actual post, NTA, you can choose if you want to pleasure her or not, and she has no right to force you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I also believe partners should try to groom themselves (and try to look) how their partner likes.
You’re getting hair in your mouth going down on your wife and she’s belting chardonnay while you’re doing it.
Dude, take it from a pussy eating lesbian of many decades, if you’re getting hair in your mouth you’re a mile off from where you should be. No wonder she’s able to sip wine. If you wanna do this right you’re gonna have to get your nose wet. And how you know you’re doing it right is, she’s not even able to hold a fucking wine glass because she’s shuddering in ecstasy.
Back to creative writing class with you. This dog won’t hunt.
Then, explain to her that while you love her and support her efforts, you did not sign up for a marriage to a Neanderthal woman, and if she chooses to continue down the path of all things wild and wonderful, you’ll have no choice but to support her from a distance.
Ugh…
She can’t say you have to do x.
It’s your body.
Tell her YOUR boundary is you dont give oral where there’s pubic hair.
Her boundary is she doesn’t want to remove her pubic hair.
What that means….. you don’t go down on her. If thats a deal breaker for her, then that’s that.
Second of all, she is absolutely out of pocket. “You should want me to be natural” is bollocks. Being natural does not preclude a trim.
Offer to buy her laser hair removal to “thin it out” at least! maybe she just hates shaving
It sounds like she feels entitled and doesn’t consider your feelings. NTA
Sounds super fake and written by a young boy!
It’s her responsibility to satisfy you as well.
NTA
They create a barrier so you don’t have hair in your teeth.
Groom your shit ffs