After their father left them, a woman and her children had a bad future ahead of them. She did jobs that were morally questionable to support her kids’ schooling and pay for their needs. She had no idea that these decisions would later come back to haunt her daughter and cast a dark shadow over her future.
A woman who didn’t want to be named told her story in the “AITAH” subreddit on May 16, 2023. First, the 26-year-old woman from outside the U.S. talked about how her father left her and her mother when she was five years old, leaving them very poor. Also, she had a younger brother who was 21 years old. He later left the country with his lover and cut all ties with his family.
The woman’s mother did some “immoral stuff” to put food on the table because she was having a hard time making ends meet. To give her kids a chance at going to school, she worked as a stripper and did things she wasn’t proud of from time to time. The woman and her brother were sent to school even though the situation wasn’t normal. This shows how much their mom sacrificed.
The woman never felt bad about what her mother did because she knew how bad things were for them and knew that her mother was making sacrifices to make sure they would have a better future. The girl started working part-time when she was 14 years old. She did so well in school that she got a scholarship to a good college.
Her drive and hard work paid off, giving her chances she hadn’t had before. In the end, her brother also got a part-time job, which helped the family’s finances. As time went on, the woman’s mother chose to stop stripping and got a better job as a waitress.
Looking for Love
The woman met her fiancé, Javi, who is 27 years old, in college. It was her first serious romance. They really loved each other, but she kept a big secret from him. She kept a promise to her mom that she would never talk about her difficult past, and her mom demanded that they keep it a secret.
Even though they broke up, she told him how much she loved him and how hard it was to move on after their six-year romance.
Even though they were having money problems, Javi knew that the family was poor but never judged them. He was a loving partner who even paid for the woman’s brother’s education even though she didn’t want him to.
When the woman and her mother went to Javi’s house to meet his parents, not knowing that his uncle and aunt would also be there, things took a turn for the worse. When her mom saw his uncle, she got pale and looked very upset. His uncle’s intense look made her mother look nervous because it seemed like he knew her.
What did the OP and her mom do after they left Javi’s house?
Her mother was uncomfortable and wanted to leave, so she left the meeting early. Javi, who was confused by what was going on, was not told anything. What did the woman say about Javi’s visit? “The next day, my fiancé came to our place and yelled at me that I lied to him!” “He said that I am a gold digger just like my mother, and my mother is the reason why his uncle’s first marriage broke.”
The woman asked Javi to explain himself because she didn’t understand why he was so angry all of a sudden. He said that her mother knew his uncle and that his uncle often used her services. When the affair was found out by his uncle’s wife, she quickly filed for divorce. The woman’s mother was heartbroken because she didn’t know if the man was married.
During an angry argument, the original poster stood up for her mother and said the married man who hired the escorts was responsible. Javi, on the other hand, didn’t change and called her and her mother insulting names. Even though her mother begged him not to, he promised to break off their engagement, making it clear that he didn’t like her family background.
How did things go between the OP and Javi?
The woman had to make a tough choice: she ended the relationship. She gave back the engagement ring because she couldn’t stand the unfair treatment her mother would receive from Javi’s opinion.
The woman stood her ground and refused to be ashamed of her family’s past, even though her mother was worried about her future. In the end, she asked herself if she had made the wrong decision and looked for proof of what she had done.
To make things clearer, the OP said that Javi knew about most parts of her life, including the problems her father’s exit caused and their money problems. She made hints about how hard things were for her mom, but she never gave out specifics about her work past because she wanted to avoid making things worse for her mom.
She also made it clear that she had never asked Javi to help pay for her brother’s schooling; he did it on his own free will. Even though they broke up, she told him how much she loved him and how hard it was to move on after their six-year romance.
One last update
In an update on May 26, the woman thanked everyone for their support, including people she didn’t know. This showed how kind people can be in an online community. Even though she was scared, she got less hate than she thought she would, especially given what her mother used to do for a living.
After calling off the engagement, the woman’s friends and Javi’s family put pressure on her to change her mind, which changed the course of events. During a weak emotional moment, Javi told her he was sorry and loved her, but only if her mother wouldn’t be part in any wedding events because of her past.
He said that being around her mom would be hard for his family, especially his uncle. The OP realized that her feelings and family were never really taken into account; it was all about meeting his family’s standards.
The woman stood firm and refused to give in to these demands. She knew what her mother had done and refused to be judged for her past. She ended the connection to make it clear that she was determined to protect the honor of her family. She was mentally drained and thought about moving because she was afraid of the backlash at work, where she thought she might be shunned.
In her last message to Javi, the OP said she felt bad that she hadn’t told him about her mother’s past sooner and was sad that the relationship was over. She promised to pay back the money Javi had given to help pay for her brother’s schooling because she didn’t want to be accused of taking advantage of him for money.
She also talked to religious groups that were attacking her mom, which showed how hypocritical the supposedly religious people were in her mom’s old job.