My son’s birth was revealed to me by a Facebook post. The events that followed rocked my world and made me impart a lesson my wife would never forget.
It’s difficult to accept that this is my life. However, here I am. For years, my spouse Julia and I had desired children. We were therefore overjoyed when she eventually became pregnant last year.
My goal was to become the finest possible husband and future father. My brother isn’t the most involved father, and her father had never been involved in her life.
I was resolved not to repeat the mistakes I had witnessed far too many wives making when their husbands were away. But a few weeks into her pregnancy, things really started to go wrong.
Julia’s desire for sex subsided. Mason, I simply don’t feel like it. Right now, it’s too much,” she would remark. I honored her desires because I knew it was hormones and stress. However, she objected to any kind of physical contact. No kissing or snuggling. In addition, she grew more and more aloof.
Her food preferences were ever-changing. The other night, Julia insisted, “Mason, I need ice cream and pickles right now.”
I said, “Sure thing, honey,” and hurried to the shop. She angrily exclaimed, “I don’t want this!” as I came back. I’m craving sushi.
I remarked, perplexed, “Julia, you asked for this just an hour ago.”
“It doesn’t concern me! Just bring me some sushi, she cried out. I treated it by attributing it to hormone problems.
She never permitted me to accompany her to any gatherings or appointments. She persisted, “It’s just easier if I go alone.” “I don’t want you hovering over me.”
I objected, saying, “But I want to be involved, Julia.”
She angrily exclaimed, “I said no, Mason!” She became icier and more resentful of me, spent more time away from home. This continued for several months.
I was really tired when I got home one night. I yelled, “Julia, I made dinner.”
With a contemptuous look at the dish, she declared, “I’m not eating that.”
I was frustrated and remarked, “But I spent hours making it.”
She said, “Do you ever think about what I want?” “You never listen!” She then gave me a slap. I remained silent for a moment in shock.
Approximately one month into the pregnancy, she stopped doing anything around the house. She wouldn’t even offer to assist with the laundry, even though it is difficult to move about when pregnant. By the fifth week, I was fully engaged in my work. We made most of our money from my work. I was running on fumes and could hardly sleep.
She always attempted to start fights and had me sleep in the guest room. She would taunt, “Why don’t you just leave if you can’t handle this?” Not even once did I raise my voice.
I kept telling myself that it would all be worthwhile and that this wasn’t her. She did not want me to decide anything about the baby. No nursery work, no name selections, nothing.
Julia screamed at me one month before she gave birth, telling me how worthless I was. “I’m heading to my mother’s house. Please don’t call,” she said. She even threatened to seek a restraining order if I phoned her, and she wouldn’t allow me get her anything.
I learned of my son Jason’s birth a few weeks ago through a Facebook post. Along with her mother and other family members, Julia uploaded it. I was devastated by it. I tried to visit them at the hospital, but I was sent away by security.
I began to wonder if Jason was really mine after learning of his birth. I called Julia asking for a paternity test, but she didn’t pick up. I was devastated. Julia’s brother called back two weeks later.
“Mason, you need to know the truth,” he responded. “Julia slept with one of her coworkers. She thought the child belonged to him.
I was taken aback. “What? How could she subject me to this?”
She was unsure of how to inform you. Her brother clarified, “Her coworker had pledged to stay with her, but he had fled when he learned the baby wasn’t his. “I thought you should know.”
I was indignant to learn of Julia’s betrayal. My attorney helped me make the demand for a paternity test. At about one month old, I was able to hold my baby for the first time once it was established that I was, in fact, the father.
After that, I gave Julia a lesson. We owned our married house, and we had a prenuptial agreement. I was sure I would win when I filed for divorce. In addition, I disclosed Julia’s relationship with the coworker to her employer. Due to the company’s stringent policies, Julia and her colleague were let go.
I claimed Julia was not stable enough to care for Jason and filed for full custody of him. Julia pleaded with me to pardon her, but I refused. Moving in with her mother was the only choice left to her.
Julia’s move in with her mother resulted in a significant transformation in her life. There was tension in Julia’s mother-daughter connection. Her mother would frequently exclaim, “How could you let this happen, Julia?” with a tone of irritation in her voice.
“I made a mistake, Mom. “I had no idea it would end up this way,” Julia would respond, tears welling in her eyes.
“Losing your job was one thing, but your actions have consequences,” her mother groaned. See where we’ve come to.”
Julia found it difficult to accept her current circumstances. Her fall from grace served as a daily reminder. She was not financially independent without a job.
Not helping was her mother’s incessant lecturing. Her mother shook her head one evening, “I can’t believe you jeopardized everything for a fling.”
Julia said, “Mom, I’m trying to make things right.”
“Julia, trying is insufficient. Her mother shot out, “You need to accept the fact that you have harmed a lot of people.
There was tension and remorse throughout their chats. Julia felt alone and confined. She felt the full weight of her decisions as a result of her mother’s disappointment. She had to deal with the consequences of her actions and the life she had lost every day.
The judge gave me full custody after hearing my side of the tale and hearing me out in court—especially since Julia didn’t object. I made the decision to go on with my life and fulfill my potential as a father. I gave Julia permission to see Jason in accordance with the court orders.
Was I right to teach my ex-wife the lesson?
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