The mother of my fiancé has always made an effort to keep me out of family gatherings. Her stance was unambiguous: she would accept me into the family only if Joaquin and I were married, not before. But she quickly saw how her behavior toward me had backfired. She abruptly transformed.
I would frequently hear my fiancé’s mother tell me directly, “Once you’re married to Joaquin, then you’ll be family.” She was essentially saying that I was only going to be here until the wedding bells rung.
It was difficult not to feel excluded. But since Joaquin’s brother’s girlfriend received the same cold treatment, I didn’t feel singled out. I never felt hatred toward my future mother-in-law because, to be honest, her actions looked to be motivated by fear—fear of her boys being taken by their spouses.
Yes, that’s my fiancé—she used to be all about keeping her “little boy” to herself. When we moved in together, she cried nonstop for days and even pretended to have a heart attack when he proposed! Is that even possible to imagine? Just as we thought we were on cloud nine, drama struck.
Joaquin’s mother didn’t modify her stance after he proposed. She refused to ask me to family dinners for three years, not even at Christmas or Thanksgiving. The identical excuse was given then: it was intended to be “family only,” and I was “only the fiancée.”
I was never included in family pictures, so don’t even get me started on that. Being there and watching them take the picture made me feel very bad because I knew I wasn’t supposed to be in it. To be honest, I think it would have been fantastic if they included a photo of the family and another of the significant others.
But hey, what do you know? All of that changed recently when she began pleading with us to involve her in our plans. Thus, my future mother-in-law learned about my plans to buy for a wedding dress (thanks to Joaquin’s blabbing).
My mom and sister and I had a special, girls-only time when we went wedding dress shopping. Presuming she was invited, she gave me a call. There was stillness when I told her it was simply going to be the two of us.
“Hey Claudia, I’ve heard that you’ll be shopping for your wedding dress this weekend. What time and where should I arrive?”
“Yeah, it is this coming weekend. Just my sister, parents, and I will be there. You understand that it’s for family only, I’m sure.
It took a minute or so for my future mother-in-law to start talking. It took her some time to eventually say, “Oh, okay. I must leave. Goodbye.
When Joaquin, his brother, and his brother’s girlfriend learned about it, they burst out laughing. They felt that my “family only” statement was perfect. Joaquin’s younger brother, on the other hand, felt that I was being unduly critical of their mother and that, given the fact that she doesn’t have any daughters, I ought to have taken her sentiments into account.
I get it, but after all the rejection, all I wanted was a drama-free day. Why should I involve her, after all, she never behaved like a daughter toward me?
Shortly after, she attempted to pull off a ruse in which she gave Joaquin a list of “appropriate” outfit ideas for me. Basically, it was a list of gowns that she disapproved of. Among them were the following: not too tight, not too much cleavage, sweetheart neckline, high slit, no see-through, no halter, strapless, and so on. She was hoping I would seem “classy.”
Joaquin approached his mother because he could not stand it. She wasn’t the bride, not even the bride’s mother, he informed her, so quit tampering with the bridal gown. He gave me a strong hug and advised me not to follow his mother.
“In through one ear, out the other,” he declared. We were getting married, he informed me, and that was what mattered most to us. In fact, he laughed and said that I should follow my own intuition while choosing a dress, rather than following his mother’s “rules.”
MIL, meantime, was left to simmer in her own juice, worried about my choice. Her attempts to dictate how we should dress through a set of “rules” simply strengthened my resolve.
On the day of our nuptials, I showed up dressed in everything she detested. My dress was strapless and revealed a small amount of cleavage. Even so, I kept it tasteful. My dress flowed well on the skirt and was fitting in the upper portion. My reception gown included a high slit, but my wedding dress did not.
I could sense her glaring at my outfit with her gaze. Shock, astonishment, and—dare I say it—a hint of realization mixed together. It was a thrilling moment.
I felt like I had won the lotto when I was actually heading down the aisle. As I approached the man of my dreams, I felt stunning and like the happiest woman alive. Even though I don’t get along with my MIL as much, I adore her son.
My fiancé made it a point to snap lots of pictures with me at the reception, one of which prominently featured me surrounded by his family. It was his subdued way of letting me know that, despite what his mother had earlier suggested, I was in fact a member of the family. In order to really capture the dress’s beauty, we made sure to take a few additional glamor photographs of the two of us.
After a few toasts and dances later in the evening, the mood had warmed up, and my MIL came over to me. As I was ready for a confrontation, she made a subtle comment on my outfit.
“You look beautiful,” she said softly. Although it wasn’t a lengthy apology, her remarks seemed like a little win at that particular moment. She said, “Welcome to the family.”
The twist is that after the wedding, my MIL’s perspective started to shift. Maybe she became softer after witnessing her son’s genuine happiness and the day’s joy.
Or perhaps it was the knowledge that if she kept going in that direction, her antics would drive her away from not just one, but all of her boys. We noticed a gradual increase in her inclusivity, and my future sister-in-law even noted that MIL had started to treat her a little better.
And that’s the news. It was a bit of a gamble to turn the tables, but it appears to have just paid off. Was it a bit harsh? Perhaps a little, but you have to defend yourself from time to time.
Not just Claudia’s mother-in-law (MIL) was taken by surprise during a wedding. After receiving her parents’ wedding gift, one bride accused them of being frugal.