Before she saw the meticulous gourmet menu taped to the refrigerator, telling her to cook opulent meals in spite of her demanding work schedule, Sarah had always thought her marriage was solid. Significant underlying flaws in their relationship were revealed by this finding, which led to a heated argument that left them both shaken.
Sarah had thrived as a project manager in a fast-paced computer company, often working long hours and even taking work home on the weekends. She took care of chores, went food shopping, and occasionally hosted dinner parties with friends despite leading a busy professional life.
In contrast, Tom, her spouse, worked as an accountant with regular hours and weekends off. Even though he frequently expressed his tiredness and stress, Sarah, who loved Tom dearly and was committed to their marriage, voluntarily took on a greater workload at home.
But one day, after yet another taxing workday, Sarah came home to discover a neatly typed menu stuck to the refrigerator with a magnet. That was the tipping point. There was a message from Tom with the menu that said, “Cook it today.”
The menu featured elaborate items such as Lobster Thermidor, Coq au Vin, and Beef Wellington. Sarah was shocked and taken aback by Tom’s expectation that she would come home and cook these intricate delicacies, especially when she already put in more hours at work than he did.
She contacted Tom, changing her initial fury into a determined resolve, asking, “What’s with this menu on the fridge? Do you really think I’m going to cook everything?
“Yeah, I thought it would be nice to have some structure and variety in our meals,” was Tom’s quick, albeit informal, response. You’re such a talented chef, so I think you’ll be OK. Tell me how it turns out!
Sarah could not believe how uncaring he was, and she made the decision that it was imperative they talk about this when he got home.
Tom sang a happy song to her when he got back. He softly called out, “Hey, Sarah.”
“Hey,” she shot back in a stern tone. “We must have a conversation.”
Tom, perplexed, enquired, “About what?”
Sarah spoke forward and pointed to the refrigerator, saying, “About this menu.”
Tom studied the menu, seeming perplexed, and then turned back to her, still not understanding. “How about it?”
“After working all day, you expect me to cook all these meals?” Sarah raised her voice. “Tom, I hardly have time to breathe.”
He shrugged, continuing to fail to see the issue. I was just thinking that some variation would be nice. I knew you would love it because of how delicious your food is every time.
“Enjoy it?” Sarah said it again, sceptically. “I barely have time to cook gourmet meals, let alone eat.”
“I didn’t think it would be such a big deal,” Tom said with a small pout.
“Yes, it is,” Sarah shot back. “I’m worn out, Tom. More help is not what I need.
Tom was taken aback by her fervor and said, “I apologize, Sarah. I was unaware of that.
She retorted, shaking her head, “No, you didn’t. And there is the issue.
Tom became defensive after becoming confused. “So I’m to blame for your overwork now? Sarah, all I wanted was better food. Is that really so incorrect?
She was so frustrated that she lost it. “It’s not unreasonable to want to eat better, but expecting me to do everything is! Tom, I’m not a machine.
“I never claimed you were,” he protested, raising his voice. “Yet you behave as though I don’t do anything around here. As you know, I work too.
Indeed, you work regular hours and unwind at home. I still take care of the house, work late, and bring tasks home. Is that equitable? Sarah posed a question.
Tom threw up his hands and said, “So, Sarah, what are you wanting me to do? Give up my work? Continue cooking at home all day?
Sarah clarified, giving him a glare, “I want you to realize how much I do and contribute more. It’s about sharing responsibility, not about giving up your work.
“Accountabilities?” Tom sneered. “I take care of the bills, the yard, and the upkeep of the cars. You consider it insignificant?
“I’m not saying it’s nothing,” Sarah shot back, clearly agitated. It’s not everything, though. You’re not privy to my everyday struggles. Preparing exquisite food is really an additional unattainable goal.
Tom blushed and said, “Perhaps I’m not seeing everything. However, you also don’t value what I do. You give the impression that I’m worthless.
Sarah said, trying to still her shaking hands, “Tom, I’m asking for partnership. not to make you feel unproductive. Why is it so difficult for you to comprehend that?
He shot back, “Maybe because you’re always on edge.” “It seems like nothing I do pleases you.”
“You don’t pay attention!” Sarah yelled. “All you see is your adorable little menu, and I’m drowning here.” The most important thing is to feel supported, not the food.
Tom sprang up suddenly, the chair making a loud scrape across the floor. “I’ve had enough of this discussion. I must get some fresh air.
Sarah realized things was far from settled as he was leaving. She wanted to find a way to tell Tom how much work it takes every day to maintain their lifestyle, and she needed to make sure that he understood it without making things worse between them.
Over the next few days, Sarah continued with her typical schedule but came up with a plan. She carefully set everything up and placed multiple calls. Tom came inside the house on Friday morning to the aroma of a well-done Beef Wellington.
As he sat down, Tom was impressed and commented, “Wow, this looks amazing!”
Sarah forced a pleasant smile to hide her genuine emotions. “I’m happy you enjoy it. I figured I’d begin with your most beloved.
Tom said to himself, “This is fantastic,” as he finished his dinner. You know, you never would have realized you had this gift if I hadn’t made you do it. To be honest though, I think the beef could have been a little more tender.
A chef in full costume emerged from the kitchen at that same moment. His tone was firm but professional as he said, “Is there something wrong with the beef, sir?”
Taken off guard, Tom stammered, asking, “Who are you?”
Sarah narrated, enjoying the scene as it developed, “This is Chef Martin. He cooked this dinner for me. And I gave him the cash you were setting up for your new vehicle.
Tom’s face changed color as he searched for the right words. “You…what did you do?”
“Now that I oversee the household and put in long hours at work, you expect me to provide fine dining every day? I felt that you would benefit from a lesson on the preparation of a meal such as this. Even as a master chef, Chef Martin is not able to consistently produce flawless meat every time. Perhaps you will start to value what I do a little more now.
Chef Martin gave a nod of approval. “Sir, it’s not simple. These recipes require a lot of talent and time to prepare.
Tom said, “I’m sorry, Sarah,” deflated. I was being unfair, and I was unaware of it. I didn’t realize how much labor these meals would require of you, but I still thought they would be pleasant.
Sarah’s expression became a little softer. “I’m happy you comprehend. Let’s plan a lunch together the next time that we can both stick to.
They ate their lunch together, their mutual regard growing. Tom never again demanded complex menus; instead, they developed a true collaboration in their home life by taking turns cooking wonderful but straightforward dinners.