The arrogance of our children’s accusations of wasting their fortune surprised us. We recognized a chance to teach about money and enjoying life completely instead of getting angry.
Tom, my husband, and I have always lived modestly but happily. As we retire, we want to enjoy the fruits of our lifelong savings and investing. Our doctor encouraged us to take a break from our routine, so we planned a small yet enjoyable beach vacation.
I excitedly told Emma and Jake about our planned vacation, expecting their enthusiasm or envy. However, their response surprised me.
Emma chastised me when I showed Emma and Jake a photo of our charming hotel. She sighed and said, “You know, you should think about us too,” meaning we shared our funds. This money is our heritage, not just yours. We’ll have nothing once you die if you waste it all now.”
Jake concurred, “Yeah, do you really need that vacation? People your age should remain home and chill. Why keep spending and doing things? I worry there won’t be much left for us
Their remarks nearly made me cry, but Tom’s handshake helped me go on. We would deal with his strategy.
After much consideration, Tom and I reviewed the unpleasant chat that night. Tom’s calmness comforted me despite our children’s entitlement.
Tom said, “They think our money is already theirs.” “We must teach them.”
We planned beyond refutation. To show Emma and Jake that our finances were ours, we wrote letters declaring our choice to contribute a large percentage of our savings to charity we cared about. To assist great causes and show the delight of making a difference were our goals.
We mailed the letters before vacation. Jake called upon arrival, disrupting our first day. He raged.
“What are you thinking?” he said. “Donating our estate? This is crazy!”
I said calmly, “It’s not ‘your’ inheritance, Jake; it’s our money. We deserve to spend it how we like. Let’s enjoy life and help others. You and Emma have careers and savings. You’ll be fine.
After a pause, Jake asked, “But you’re just giving it all away?”
Not all of it, I assured him. Keeping enough for ourselves. We want to improve the world, not just leave money. Trip part of that. We deserve to have fun.”
Jake murmured about discussing this with Emma before hanging up. Tom, who listened, praised my handling.
Days later, Emma reached out with a more quiet but concerned tone.
Mom, Dad, I received your letter. I’m confused. Why now? Why donate so much?
Emma, we’ve worked hard our whole lives. We want to enjoy our time and serve others. We aren’t leaving you with nothing; we’re just living our best lives and supporting our causes.”
“I get that, but it just feels like you’re taking away our future security,” Emma moaned, unwillingly accepting.
Emma, you and Jake are doing great, Tom said. You work and save. You’re not losing your future. Take use of the now. Some of it goes to enjoying life and helping others.
Emma conceded, “I guess I can see your point. This surprised me.”
I told her, “We understand.” “It shocked us to hear you both talk about our money like yours. We wanted to demonstrate that it’s still ours to use.”
After more debate, Emma seemed to accept our view, but not totally. After hanging up, I felt lighter.
Tom and I enjoyed our trip in the pure air with our kids. Our determination to live on our terms invigorated us as we enjoyed the beach, local sights, and quiet companionship.
Emma and Jake arrived with apprehension and determination. Mom, Dad, may we talk? As they settled, Emma asked.
“Of course,” Tom said, asking them to seat.
Emma began, “We’ve been contemplating what you said. Now we know we were foolish to presume we had your money. Our concern is for you.
Jake added, “Yeah, we just want to make sure you’re okay and not making rash decisions.”
Their anxiety relaxed Tom, who smiled. Thank you for your concern, however we’ve considered this. We’re not wasteful. We’re happy and helping others. We value that.”
We love you both, and we’re not punishing you, I said. Just grasp our perspective. Not simply money, but living completely and doing good in the world.”
Finally comprehending, Emma sighed. Finally, we understand. An inheritance is hard to let go of.”
Jake said, “But we see your point. Our reaction is regrettable.”
Tom gave me a relieved look. I said, “Thank you for understanding.” “We’re grateful we discussed this.”
We felt closer after lighter chats in the evening. It was hard to teach our kids this lesson, but it brought us closer.
Emma and Jake eventually adopted our philosophy. We enjoyed retirement by taking little vacations and supporting meaningful organizations.
One day, a charity we funded wrote to us about how our donation was building a community center. Emma read the letter aloud over supper, modulating her voice. Her eyes were wet when she finished.
Mom, Dad, this is great. I regret not understanding. Now I understand why you care, she added.
Although thoughtful, Jake nodded. Yeah, it’s amazing how much good you’re doing.”
Tom smiled satisfied. Thank you for your perspective. We always believed in leading a life that helps others and ourselves.”
I felt at peace as I gazed around the table at my family that night. Tom and I had renewed our commitment to living fully after our children learnt a valuable life and money lesson.
Share