After thirty years of marriage, I asked for a divorce, which stunned and upset my husband. He believed he had been a decent husband all along. However, I had a motive that he was completely unaware of.
Isn’t it funny how different people may be in their interpretations of the same event? even a union of some kind. Although I knew I wasn’t happy, my husband Zack believed he was a happy married man.
After two weeks after our third and youngest kid leaving the house, on our thirtyth wedding anniversary, I asked him for a divorce, bringing our two realities to a head.
He was utterly shocked as he stood there and stared at me. “What?” he enquired. “What person is divorcing?”
I said to him, “You.” Alternatively, I am.
Zack sat down, gazing unchanged. “You intend to divorce me?”
Yes, once more, I said. “I’m ending our divorce.”
“However, why?” He started crying, and I noticed that he had tears in his eyes. “I have always loved you, Kelly, and I have never cheated on you—ever!”
It’s accurate, I replied. “You never gambled or drank, and you never cheated.”
Paying attention to what the other person is actually saying is one of the most crucial things in a relationship.
“But then why?” he questioned sharply. “You’re divorcing me and I did nothing? Are you involved in a romantic relationship?
“NO!” I sobbed. “I’m not! Zack, would you like to hear why I’m leaving you? I’ll explain to you. I approached him directly and met his eyes.
You did nothing at all, which is why I’m going! You did not help at all when the kids arrived and I had to work a full-time job in addition to going home alone myself to clean the house.
“You did nothing at all when I was so sick I could hardly move; you did nothing at all when my father passed away and I was overcome with sadness; nothing at all when I went through menopause and had melancholy.
You did not even acknowledge my sadness when our two oldest children moved out. You never gave me a flower as a token of your affection, and you never defended me against your mother’s terrible treatment of me.
“When I had to get out of bed at six in the morning to fix breakfast after twisting my ankle and was barely able to walk, you just lay there snoring and did nothing.” You seem to be best at nothing!
“I was never informed by you!” Zack sobbed, a wounded expression on his face.
“I informed you each time I requested your assistance,” I uttered. “Each time I cuddled up for a kiss, you showed a greater interest in the television programming. I told you when I pleaded for romance, for your love and care.
“I told you five years ago that you were happy and there was nothing wrong when I asked you to attend couples therapy with me.”
With hope, Zack said, “We can go now.” “Make the appointment, and I’ll be there!”
“Obviously, now that you witness my resolve to depart,” I remarked. “However, you don’t genuinely care enough to search for a therapist and schedule an appointment on your own.”
“Please, Zack pleaded with Kelly. “Please allow me the opportunity to make you happy!”
I felt a great sadness spring up in my heart as I glanced at him. I gave a headshake. “I would have given anything to hear you say those words at any point during the last thirty years.
“Now that I’m staring at you, all I can feel is sympathy and sadness. Since you didn’t bother to make me happy before, Zack, I’m not going to waste any more of my time on you.
The following day, I moved out and began a new life in a charming small Venice Beach apartment. I started riding my bike everywhere, even to work, after selling my car.
My children were stunned, especially Amy, my eldest daughter, who informed me that her father was depressed and visiting a therapist. I felt bad for him, but ultimately, I had to put my happiness first.
I changed my hair, started dancing, found new acquaintances, and tossed out the old, dowdy clothes I had bought to appease Zack. My kids stated I looked twenty years younger, and they were shocked.
I had a youthful, attractive, vivacious, and hopeful feeling. After a year, I was married to Sam, a kind and thoughtful man who pamper me and shows me so much love and care.
We’ve decided on a date for the summer, but I think I’m still a little anxious about making the huge step once more. I’ve never met a kinder man, and I’m beginning to understand what true love is all about.
Regarding Zack, it has come to my attention that he is currently seeing a considerably younger woman who treats him like a slave, lets him follow her every desire, and wastes his hard-earned cash like water. All of us, I suppose, get what we deserve!