When a soon-to-be parent finds out they are pregnant, it’s one of the most amazing moments of their lives. At last, you may get a list of adorable baby names, get some small garments ready, and realize your dream of starting a small family. It can, therefore, also be a nightmare. That’s a whole other story if you’ve never desired children and don’t even want to consider becoming a parent.
One Reddit user who was quite clear with his partner that he didn’t want to be a father ended up in a similar predicament. But when she became pregnant, he decided to leave her and the child behind.
More info: Reddit
Before deciding to establish a family on your own, it’s crucial to have a clear discussion about this with your spouse because not everyone wants to be a parent.
Image credits: Alena Darmel (not the actual photo)
The man says that his girlfriend has known when they first started dating that he has never wanted to have children.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
However, she eventually disclosed to him that she was pregnant and that she had stopped using birth control.
Image credits: u/ThingfromtheBlackBog
He informed her that although he would pay child support, he was leaving because he didn’t want to be a parent
A Reddit poster recently published his tale and asked the community if he was being a jerk for agreeing to pay child support but not staying with his fiancée for his child’s upbringing. He continues, saying that although he never intended to be a father, he now appears like a jerk who is dumping his kid. More than 6.3K people voted for the post, and 7.2K people commented.
The author declares from the outset that he has no desire to become a father. Having grown up as the eldest of his six siblings, he was raised as a third parent for the majority of his early and teenage years. He also emphasizes how his partner was okay with him having this perspective about parenting since the beginning. She developed baby fever during the epidemic, so the pair decided to take a little pause to give it some more thought.
When they reunited after a few months, she made it clear that she would strive to be a cool auntie even if she still wanted to be a mother. She chose to keep the pregnancy, nonetheless, after becoming pregnant later. OP became enraged upon discovering that she had stopped taking birth control for a while. Though he is aware that she may have had second thoughts, he is adamant that he does not want to be a father.
OP says he broke up with her. Although he will pay child support and has a high income, he never desired this. He knows that he appears to be a big, jerky father who is dumping his kid, but he never consented to it in the first place.
Members of the community weren’t entirely in favor with OP’s choice on the matter. It’s strange that some males believe a woman’s role in preventing pregnancy is complete. One person said, “What she did was utterly disgusting, but it’s just stupid to rely on a single BC method when you’re certain you don’t want kids.” Conversely, someone else posted: “As written, she went without birth control until she received what she wanted, and she knew you hadn’t changed your mind. Whatever the court orders, pay it. Make payment via the court. Leave no trace. Make wiser decisions.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
For background, the OP grew up spending the most of his adolescent years taking care of his younger siblings because he is the oldest sibling in his family. Although most parents urge their eldest child to help with babysitting, this practice is not new, and it can have long-term consequences for the children.
Let’s begin by discussing the term parentification. Parentification, according to Newport Academy, is the practice of parents turning on their children for emotional or practical support rather than providing it on their own. In this way, the child assumes the role of caregiver. Thus, parentified youngsters are forced to adopt adult responsibilities and behaviors before they are ready.
A few instances could be looking after siblings or other family members, doing housework, making bill payments, or providing care for a parent who is ill, disabled, or suffering from a mental health issue.
Parents discusses the impact of parentification and notes that it can be detrimental as an adult, particularly in the formation of wholesome relationships. Many become people-pleasers by continuing to act like the listener, counselor, or supporter. They have anxiety about falling behind and losing everything, and they find it difficult to cope with rejection and disappointment in relationships.
They may also struggle with anxiety, anger, low self-esteem, and trust concerns. Thus, while it’s perfectly acceptable to ask the eldest child to watch the younger siblings, doing so on a regular basis could have unintended implications.
What are your thoughts on this case, guys? Did the girlfriend have no right to get pregnant on purpose, or was the man being a jerk? Post your comments below!
About this incident, the community divided – some thought the man was being a jerk, while others supported him