When a Black lady became pregnant with their first child, a White man married her; nevertheless, the boy’s father had doubts about his paternity because he was darker than his mother. He received backlash from social media users for taking a paternity test without telling his wife.
A 29-year-old White man posted a question on Reddit on May 9, 2020, regarding a sensitive position he had gotten himself into. He gave an explanation of his marriage to a thirty-year-old Black lady, with whom he had two small children.
When he wrote his query, their daughter was three years old and their son was five. Because the boy didn’t resemble his father at all and was considerably darker than his mother, the man doubted the boy’s paternity.
![A woman holding and looking at a DNA test. | Source: Shutterstock](https://forever-love-animals.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/728ab0f5435d2704a98e06e8993d2ef34722d9b630218d2fa1403e37069f6ec3.jpg)
After listening to those close to him about the child not being his, he decided to get a paternity test behind his wife’s back, only for that to backfire. Here’s the full story of what led the man to Reddit.
Why a White Father Ended Up Getting a Paternity Test for His Only Son
The White man started his Reddit post by revealing that he’d shared his story in the Relationship Advice community before it was removed because it belonged in the Am I The [expletive] (AITA) section. He explained that he had two children — a son and a daughter.
![A sad Black child holding a teddy bear while a man and a woman turn their backs on each other in the background. | Source: Shutterstock](https://forever-love-animals.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/bf99927e7accc54334a32adaba9bdf50a243077cd8947ef1a5870d18d3c5920b.jpg)
The poster said his Black wife became pregnant with their son early in their one-year relationship, and they tied the knot because of that. Luckily, the couple was quite happy in the marriage, and although he accepted their son as his when he was born, the man noticed how the boy hardly resembled him, adding:
“He is noticeably darker than my wife.”
The man complained that his son didn’t look half-White and that his friends and family had asked if he was sure the boy was his. The father admitted having doubts but initially chose to trust his wife, and he loved his son.
![Two DNA test kits. | Source: Shutterstock](https://forever-love-animals.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/c23bbb85274d5d8ece1a262288f06f65ab68c934c52dfdef251f1dd2b269e796.jpg)
However, when the boy was two, the couple welcomed their daughter, and the man did not doubt her paternity. He noted how she looked like him, had the same blue eyes as him, and he and his family bonded with her faster. He stated:
“I never realized how powerful it is to know a child is yours.”
Without the question of his paternity, the man found it easier to connect with his daughter, and seeing her resemblance to him, he became convinced his son wasn’t his. The man said he tried to treat his children as equals because he saw them as his offspring.
![A man and a woman hugging while she looks at her phone | Source: Shutterstock](https://forever-love-animals.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/cdca60e101f5a50c1fc7668a514b8761f024c689127757d6aa57e89c415e4b59.jpg)
However, soon enough, resentment started setting in against his son, with the man saying: “It felt unfair that I had to care for someone else’s child. I also began to resent my wife because I felt she had betrayed me.” The husband confessed:
“I finally got a paternity test in secret.”
The man was relieved when he discovered the boy was indeed his, and in the few months that followed, the relationship between him, his wife, and his son improved drastically, and he now felt closer to the boy, knowing he was his. He and his wife were so happy when they started discussing having a third child.
![A biracial family made up of a father, mother, and their two children | Source: Shutterstock](https://forever-love-animals.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/e647f054c9d5afa9dbbf07d62e94fcd45eff62a7878c483e966c008e9b80aa5f.jpg)
However, he confessed to the paternity test because he hated keeping secrets and thought his wife would understand since their son didn’t look like him. Instead of understanding, his wife lost it and asked him if he’d doubted their daughter too; he said he didn’t, and she called him a racist.
A third person felt the husband didn’t consciously believe Black people were less than Whites…
The father of two denied being racist and shared how he didn’t prefer his daughter because of her “whiter features” but because he knew she was his child. His wife accused him of having made their son feel unloved for no reason for years, but he disagreed, saying he’d treated the boy like his own despite his doubts.
![A White man and a Black woman having a disagreement while sitting on a couch. | Source: Shutterstock](https://forever-love-animals.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/1c5d293e0f2934053fc8d7a8eaa132f9a60e35222041c0583dee0317351e96f5.jpg)
The poster’s wife told him she wished to move out with their children after the COVID-19 pandemic quarantine, and a week and a half after the fallout, her husband was still sleeping on their sofa. He hoped she would’ve calmed down, but she was still furious with him for failing to trust her and denying their son because he was darker.
His wife barely spoke to him unless it pertained to the children, leaving the man asking Reddit if he was a bad person for having had doubts. He said he cared for the boy and didn’t understand why the paternity issue was messing up his marriage due to his wife’s overreaction.
How Reddit Users Reacted to the Man’s Story
One Reddit user said the man’s wife wasn’t overreacting because her husband failed to trust her and let his “ignorance” prevent him from bonding with his son. The social media user asked the man what he thought would’ve happened when he had biracial children, as the offspring didn’t always come out mixed.
![A DNA test report of paternity with a pen and stethoscope. | Source: Shutterstock](https://forever-love-animals.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/89c64af6c8d394f338a2f903fa0e17d6e0d27d02181fdea9b35f67011c5a15bc.jpg)
The person noted how the poster could’ve gotten a child as white as a vampire or as dark as Wesley Snipes. The commenter advised the husband to humble himself and beg his wife for forgiveness and then fix his ignorant thinking because his son would need him, as it wasn’t easy being a Black man in this world.
![A DNA test tube and a cotton swab. | Source: Shutterstock](https://forever-love-animals.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/b4ed94b78144aadc70e96884c3e04facb0ff16d35dc54b2fe9ef8a7f085ba154.jpg)
Someone else felt sorry for the man’s wife and children and thought it was a “nightmare” to trust and marry someone and have children with them, only to discover they were racist. The person revealed his skin crawled at the mention that the man’s family didn’t bond with the boy because he was darker.
![](https://forever-love-animals.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/A1-8.png)
The Reddit user said that if the wife stayed with the poster, he would have to do everything to prove he was decent; even more so, that his son never finds out about the test.
Some Reader Comments
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A third individual, in the meantime, stood up for the husband, saying he wouldn’t have married a Black woman and had kids with her if he had thought Black people were inferior to White people. The commenter stated that other couples of the same race experience the same issue. The person thought that the man’s deed was motivated more by their dissimilarity than by the color of their skin.