My partner and I were going out for about six years when they came to realize that they were non-binary and adopted they/them pronouns over she/her.

I’m a straight male.

I use “they/them”, I stopped saying, or at least am trying to stop saying “yes ma’am” or “damnit woman” or any of the other things that were pretty casual prior, I use “partner” instead of “girlfriend”, and I accept that everything they say about their gender identity is true.

I remain a straight male.

I don’t care about the sounds. I’ll make whatever noises I have to make. I don’t, really, care about gender identity. I don’t care what anybody identifies as. My attraction to minds and personalities is separate from my attraction to bodies. My partner has a female body and that works for me. If they have a neutral or “masc-leaning” mind, I mean, I’m kind of indifferent. I’m not opposed, but it’s not super important to me as long as they remain decent and kind. My orientation hasn’t changed, just the sounds I make with my food hole.

NTA. But this isn’t something that is going to be a one off argument.

If your partner now identifies as a man and uses he/him pronouns, while you also identify as a man and use he/him pronouns then online you would be seen as gay/bi/pan/queer.
If your partner starts presenting in a masculine way or appearing to the general public as male, then they will assume you are gay/bi/pan/queer.

None of this actually changes the fact that you are straight and only attracted to women. But you need to understand that you will be perceived as something other than straight.
And to your edit, you may currently want to stay with your partner but I think you both need to do some long term thinking on this. Just because at this moment he doesn’t want to present as male doesn’t mean that he won’t in the future.

First of all, this would never mean you were gay. It’s not like one person transitioning means you’ve stopped being attracted to women in general.

If you do want to stay in this relationship, then you will need to come to terms with what that means for your identity. If you’re comfortable identifying as blanket-term queer, and don’t want anything to change with regards to dating this person, respecting their gender identity means acknowledging that you maybe aren’t straight. I assume he wouldn’t want you calling him your girlfriend anymore.

It’s okay to be straight. It’s okay to end a relationship because your partner is transitioning to a gender that you don’t want to be in a romantic relationship in. It’s all okay.

You really need to talk to him about this, not reddit.

If you are still attracted to him and want to stay in a relationship then do it. Labels are just words. You don’t have to label yourself as gay because you have a partner that identifies as certain way. You are attracted to your partner. If you were attracted to other men then sure, do some soul searching about your sexual preferences. If you are not attracted to other men, then you can still identify as straight and have a relationship with the one man you find attractive.

If you are not bisexual or gay then you have no business being in a relationship with a trans man. When he starts his medical transition his appearance will change and it will become clear that you are with a man. You still view your partner as a woman and they don’t get that it’s detrimental to their wellbeing to stay partnered with a heterosexual man who views them as a woman. If you cared about him you would end the relationship and stop seeing them as a woman.

Wait, is your partner telling you that you are now gay/bi as a result? Cause that’s wrong, and dumb.

How old are y’all? Wait, aren’t young people supposed to see sexual preferences as a full spectrum? Liking masculine or feminine body types doesn’t inform what “gender” you’re attracted to. You’re attracted to their physical features, not their pronouns lol.

i mean if you stay with them you’re definitely not straight. and you’re disrespecting their gender identity if you stay with this because you’re telling yourself in your head that they’re still a woman. this relationship won’t last, just end it now. no need to waste time.

NTA. You are absolutely right. If your partner really is a FtM transsexual, then you are fundamentally incompatible because you’re only attracted to women. Breaking up with them would be a correct step forward because it acknowledges the gender they now identify as.

NTA. No. That does not make you gay. Liking MEN would make you gay. Liking one singular transmale does not make you gay. This feels like a weird gotcha, and if I were you, I’d break up with him because it seems like this relationship is going straight to dramaville.

If you love your significant other unconditionally, your masculinity shldn’t be threatened and you’ll stop calling “him,” her. If not, you are better off apart, because this decision is difficult and a supportive partner is needed.

This could be a test? Like when a woman says “Would you still love me if I was a puddle of water?”

You are supposed to say “Yes, of course honey, I would scoop you up and put you in a water bottle and carry you around with me.”

lol bro break up with her. She is confused and needs help. You’re not gay, she is confused. The only reason you would stay is you have low self esteem, standards. You have trouble getting female attention.

This was their decision and their change, not yours. I can see you are respectful of pronouns and such, but you don’t have to make any change that doesn’t suit you, especially how you identify yourself.

WTF? It’s bullshit like this that makes legitimate trans issues such a target for the right wing. She can’t just say she is a man and that you are now gay because you want to be with her. That’s insane.

What I kind of don’t undertstand is, and sorry if come across like an asshole for this myself: How are they “male” when they aren’t even slightly masculine at all. My Brain is not braining.

If you’re going to continue to stay with him, you don’t have to consider yourself gay but you better start accepting the fact that you’re gonna have to tell everyone you have a boyfriend.

Tell your partner you are now a kitty cat and will only respond to meows. Really commit to it. Once she’s had enough, she’ll break up and you can find someone who is mentally stable.

You don’t have to identify as anything at all if you don’t want to. What you and your partner do behind closed doors (or wherever) is nobody’s business but yours.

*he

His gender identity and your sexual orientation are two very different things.

If you are not comfortable dating a man you should probably break things off.

Loving someone who now identifies as a man doesn’t make you gay, I would qualify that more as pansexual. You can love someone regardless of their gender identity.

Has the world gone mad? I mean seriously. Move on, break up with her. Find a woman, not someone who wants to be a man. Don’t validate her delusion. Just move on.

This isn’t going to work…. For you or him. Just because you love each other, doesn’t mean this relationship will work unfortunately. I’d get out now

Wtf? What is wrong here? I’m not judging, but wtf? I guess I am judging. I just don’t get it. I’m getting too old for this shit!

NTA although this is one of the more curious ways to break up with someone I’ve come across. Sorry you found out that way.

You’re not gay. Your partner has a female body and presents as female but wants male pronouns.

You are with a female.

At what point are we allowed to call this mental illness?

is there even a line anymore?

Your “it” needs mental help. Help it then leave bc this isn’t going to work

It’s ok to have preferences. Also I call bullshit on this story

Why would another person deciding they are male make you gay?

I know people who keep changing genders. Kinda ridiculous.

NTA, but what’s gonna happen when he wants to transition ?

Nope, move on, the dynamic had shifted seismically.

Just say you are pansexual and problem solved

Lol wat in the hell did I just read 🤦🏿‍♂️

NTA but you are no longer compatible.

NTA but this is a mind fuck. Run.

YTA for posting made-up ragebait