OP reached out to her boyfriend (BF) for assistance, specifically asking him to purchase and bring her a change of clothes from the campus gift shop. However, the BF initially refused to help unless she sent him money first and then refused to bring the clothes directly to her inside the women’s restroom, forcing her to walk out of the stall in wet clothing. This situation left OP feeling furious and questioning the validity of her anger toward her boyfriend’s lack of support.
So I had a vaginal birth nearly three years ago and since then I’ve had stress incontinence. Today, I was in class and I was taking an exam. I had to pee so bad but couldn’t leave until it was done.
When I finally finished, I peed my pants and it leaked as I went to the bathroom. I refused to leave the bathroom until I had another outfit and my bf refused to help me.
I asked him to buy sweats from the uni gift shop and he refused at first until I sent him money for them (I asked to borrow). He then said he wanted me to walk to the restroom door and I said my pants are covered in pee there’s no I can do that and he said he’s not walking into the women’s restroom.
I told him to hand it to a girl walking in and he wouldn’t. He eventually left them outside the door to the restroom and I had to walk out in pee pants. I’m furious with him. Do I have a right to be?
Conclusion
The core conflict for OP lies between her immediate need for compassionate support during an embarrassing medical issue and her boyfriend’s refusal to provide that support, citing impractical or boundary-related excuses. OP is left feeling unsupported and highly upset by her partner’s actions in a moment of vulnerability.
The reader must consider whether the boyfriend’s actions constituted a reasonable boundary or a failure to support a partner in distress. Was OP justified in her extreme anger over his refusal to help her resolve an urgent, embarrassing medical situation?
Here’s how people reacted:
You’re both clearly young… and not in an ideal situation to be in this situation.
He is a bit inconsiderate but you’ve also put him into an uncomfortable situation… he doesn’t want to go into the women’s and I’m willing to bet you was being somewhat aggressive (which is fine I’d be stress angry in that situation too that isn’t a dig) so as a receiver think about how he may see it.
The thing is… you’re also kind of the asshole… you’re aware you have this stress incontinence… you knew you needed to go and didn’t… why not wear a pad? This could have been avoided on your part
I’LL say you do. A committed relationship means “FOR BETTER OR WORSE, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH.” If he couldn’t be bothered to help you in such an awkward situation, he doesn’t deserve you.
What a jerk 👅 How would he have felt if you were driving, he needed a restroom and you refused to stop?
As others here have said, DUMP HIM. Even if he is the father of your baby, you AND the baby may be better off without him. Can you imagine him ever changing the baby’s diaper?
When my mom had a shitty experience in the bathroom while throwing up, my dad helped clean it up while she cleaned herself off in the tub.
Nope. That’s wrong. He was very wrong for every element. Refusing at first. Making you pay him before he did it. Leaving them at the door.
All of those things are little digs making you feel worse than you already do. That shows NO heart.
You were in a time of need and he let you down. End of story.
If he refuses to understand how he let you down or show empathy to how embarrassing this was for you, then that’s all you need to know about your future.
People don’t change these sorts of personality traits.
Man in real life: no i won’t buy you clean pants, fine but send me the money, ew I’m not going into the women’s bathroom, I’m a MAN!
He let his fragile masculinity override your legitimate needs for support and love. This is not how a partner should treat you, especially if they would expect you to help them in such a situation.
You’re better off without him in your life.
Fk .. as a stranger, I would have bought you some sweat pants for the embarrassment factor alone!
I would be extricating myself from that relationship!
I’m sure you let a lot of things slide before this incident that were already deal breakers
I would find someone new
We’ve now been married for ten years.
His actions are telling you to not need him. So don’t.
Your boyfriend is an asshole.
But your bf is a massive one. Is he the father of your child?
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