The situation escalated when the waitress questioned whether OP would remain at the table if she tried to process the second card, suggesting a lack of trust. After the second card was successfully processed, OP deliberately left an extremely small tip (83 cents) to reflect the poor service, which prompted the waitress to confront him again about the lack of a proper tip. OP is now facing a dilemma: whether he was wrong for withholding a reasonable tip due to the waitress’s rudeness, despite an initial payment error on his side.
I went out to dinner with my wife last night. When the bill came I gave the waitress my card. She came back shortly after looking upset. She slapped the card down on the table and said “declined.” I thought her tone and brevity was rude.
I took out a different card from my wallet and handed it to her. While I was putting the first card in my wallet she didn’t move.
I looked at her and said “You okay?”
She said “If I go back and try to run this are you still going to be sitting here when I get back?”
I asked her if she thought her tone was appropriate for speaking to customers. She said “you’re only a customer if you pay.” I asked to speak to her manager.
She left with the card. My wife said maybe the waitress had encountered scammers before and was anxious about it. I said being rude and being cautious are two different things. The waitress returned with my card and the slip to fill out.
She said “This one worked. I’m sorry.”
I thanked her and took the booklet. Our bill was $91.17. I wrote in 83¢ as the tip and $92 as the total. I handed it back to her and started to get up to leave. She said “you’re really not going to tip me?”
I said “no, you were rude to me.”
She said “I have to tip out the bartender and the busboy. I just paid money to serve you.”
I said “Well, in the future you shouldn’t be so rude.”
My wife thinks I was the asshole to the waitress and should have given her ten bucks at least, because it was an honest misunderstanding. I would have given her $28.83 if she wasn’t rude to me, but I don’t want to pay to be insulted.
Was I the asshole?
For the record I called my bank and the card was flagged for fraud because of a pending $1 change that is often associated with fraud attempts. I resolved it.
Conclusion
OP is standing firm on his belief that professional service warrants a proper tip, and rudeness forfeits that expectation, even if the initial card decline was his issue. His wife argues that the payment error created a stressful situation for the waitress, suggesting that some monetary accommodation should have been made despite her poor behavior.
The central question revolves around the connection between transactional service quality and gratuity. Should a customer be expected to tip based on standard service expectations, even when the server acts unprofessionally due to an external stressor like a potential fraud situation, or does bad behavior completely nullify the expectation of a tip?
Here’s how people reacted:
Go easy on people. It’s hard to human, especially to human at this moment of history. Maybe you could’ve gotten the manager, given her a healthy tip, and shared your feedback with them in a kind way.
Be kind.
what on the fuck are you Americans doing 😂 your waitress has to tip the bartender and busboy? this is honestly a wild system you guys have set up.
NOR, the waitress job is to pick food up and put it on your table and treat you well. she failed, no tip
I mean unless she just takes that shit personally which, if that’s the case, she should go into a different industry.
If she’s smart, she’ll have learned a valuable lesson from this scenario.
Her not getting paid is her employers problem too, she signed up knowing this. I will never not be weirded out by america and their tip culture.
Ok maybe the bartender, that’s normally a tipped position, but how is the busboy a tipped worker now? What next? Tipping the dishwasher?
America needs to pay their employees properly dammit
I probably would have tipped $5 but if I’m insulted they’re not getting the 20%-30% I would have left.
Source: Former waiter who typically tips 20+%.