The situation escalated dramatically when the OP discovered Karl hiding under his bed in the middle of the night. Following this terrifying discovery, Karl confessed to sleeping under the OP’s bed several nights a week for months in an effort to become ‘psychically saturated.’ The immediate aftermath involved the OP fleeing the apartment in fear, and now he is being pressured by Karl and mutual acquaintances to accept apologies, leaving the OP questioning if his extreme reaction is justified.
I (24M) have lived with my roommate Karl (24M) for 2 years. A few months into rooming with him he told me he was a pansexual. I said ok, cool. I am not interested in that personal information, nor am I judgmental.
I said alright. A few times over the last year he has asked me if I had ever considered “experimenting” with other men. I said nope. Also I said I didn’t feel comfortable with him asking me such a personal question.
It’s not like we are close friends, we are only roommates by happenstance basically. Anyway every time I said this he basically said “we’ll see.” I was like, what?
Anyways last night I had a horrifying experience. I heard a noise under my bed. It was movement. At first I thought I was imagining things. But then I heard it again. I thought, oh god, is it a mouse or a rat or some shit?
My god. This was like 3:00 AM. So I got out of bed and looked under with my phone flashlight.
Now this here was the most startling moment of my life. I guess I am lucky because I have never before this moment felt true terror and fear as a physical sensation, but I was completely jolted.
There under my bed was my roommate staring wide eyed at me, and he SCREECHED when I looked under the bed. I literally thought I was having a heart attack.
I then just started hearing “sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry”, my roommate crawled out from under the bed crying apologizing over and over. I was so creeped out and afraid that I ran out of the apartment in my pajamas.
There was a dunkin donut that was open 24/7 a few blocks away so I just sat in there with a decaf and a breakfast sandwich with my heart thundering away. My roommate kept texting me asking to talk.
I ignored it.
In the texts he found a way to horrify me even further. He confessed he had been sleeping under my bed a few nights a week for “three or four months” and that he was doing it to get closer to me and “psychically saturate each other”.
The fuck???
I waited for him to go to work and I ran into the apartment, got my essentials, and left. I am currently crashing with a buddy. Our lease is up in 1 month, my intention is simply to not renew.
This dude is blowing up my phone. And I am getting texts from other people, some friends of mine and some bozos who are friends with him. He is going around telling people I shamed him and that I am rejecting his apologies.
Some people are claiming I am overreacting and invalidating his feelings. Most people agree he was improper but think I should work it out with him and give a second chance because he’s “sensitive”.
I feel like I am losing my mind and I am seriously 20% convinced I am experiencing a long lucid dream of some sort and wondering if I am going to wake up or I am in a coma or something because this shit is so insane to me.
Like not really, but maybe really…I mean what the fuck??? So AITA or is everyone around me a fucking nut?
Conclusion
The core conflict pits the OP’s absolute right to privacy, personal boundaries, and physical safety against the roommate’s intense, intrusive behavior rooted in an unusual desire for proximity. The OP is currently dealing with significant emotional distress, compounded by social pressure suggesting he is overreacting and should forgive the months of non-consensual surveillance.
The central question is whether the OP’s fear and subsequent decision to immediately vacate the shared space is a reasonable response to the invasion of privacy and stalking, or if the social pressure to accept his roommate’s apology and ‘work it out’ holds valid weight given the roommate’s self-proclaimed sensitivity. Is the OP right to prioritize his safety and peace over appeasing the roommate’s feelings?
Here’s how people reacted:
Your roommate has some serious issues that need professional help! This is giving me obsessed stalker vibes. Please don’t doubt yourself, you are making the best possible choice. Removing yourself from the equation and setting a boundary. Get a new place and once you have emotionally stepped out of the twilight zone Please consider talking to someone yourself, for this could result in some longterm unresolved trauma for you. Please make sure he can not contact you anymore and does not know where you reside temporarily or permanently. If possible report him and get a restraining/ no contact order. Then for the people saying you should forgive and forget cut them out to. These people are ignoring and enabling his mental issues and behaviour and disregarding your wellbeing.
Please be safe and vigilant, Take care of yourself.
This lets all get along and take everyones sometimes delusional feelings into account is giving some people “license” to violate your boundaries. Because they should be excepted. Fuck it.
Goodluck and ignore the ones saying you should work it out. Run far far away.
You need to pack your stuff and leave. Block him and anyone who suggests that you should forgive him or give him a second chance. That behavior is dangerous.
That situation is a slippery slope and will get bad, fast. By giving him another chance it’s like a green light for him to try more weird stuff.
You’re lucky you made it out with (relatively) minor trauma.
Your feelings are valid and I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Honestly, if I found him under my bed, he’d still be in the ICU in the hospital, just making a bold statement!!!
I literally was on the edge of my seat the entire post and after reading that I feel like I’ve been bamboozled 😭.
I’m really sorry this is happening to you. This person has continually violated your physical and sexual boundaries with their words and actions. Stay safe.
HARD NO. HARD PASS. NOR.
You’re nta, thats some wild unhinged shit right there.
Giving off a lot of SWF vibes. This could be dangerous for you. Get to a more safe situation for you.
I’d be moving out quickly smart.
Jk, RUN!