I smacked my nephew for spitting on me

The story involves a 34-year-old man, referred to as OP, who was having a family dinner. During the meal, his 14-year-old nephew began spitting saliva at people around the table.

When the nephew spat on the OP, the OP reacted instantly by striking the nephew lightly on the back of the head with an open hand as he walked past. The immediate aftermath saw the rest of the family become very upset with the OP for disciplining a child who was not his own, leaving the OP questioning if his reaction was an overreaction given the disrespectful act he endured.

I (34 M) smacked my nephew (14 M) today after he spat on me at the dinner table.

I was sitting at the dining table with my family this afternoon, and my nephew was squirting saliva out from underneath his tongue at people. When he did it to me, I was immediately grossed out and jumped up to go and wash myself.

As I was walking past his chair, I clipped him over the back of the head with an open hand. I did not hurt him, nor did I really think much of it at the time – but my family are very upset that I disciplined another person’s child.

I’m not an abusive or aggressive person, but I am left feeling really bad about this situation. Is it fair to say that I overreacted? My nephew is about 3 inches taller than me and I sometimes forget that he’s still a child.

I just felt very disrespected for being spat on.

Here’s how people reacted:

Academic-Dark2413

You say he did it to multiple people, you were not the first person he did it to and yet no one stopped him. It’s gross and at 14 he’s old enough to know it’s not acceptable especially at the table. His parents should have disciplined him but they didn’t so you had a natural reaction. It’s not like you planned to hit him, I can imagine in the moment it just happened as a shock response to someone spitting at you

ImaginaryPie7696

Idk how I’d feel about someone hitting my daughter at that age but at the same time I can’t even imagine the level of embarrassment I would have if my daughter acted that way.

I think you should say to your family it wasn’t the best idea and you reached out of anger cuz you were so disgusted and it won’t happen again.

BackgroundOwl2940

I don’t see how you could not react the way you did. As for another persons child.. good luck using that logic if he does that to someone his own age (now or when he’s an adult) & the victim punches his teeth out for it? They should be praising you for standing up for yourself, they clearly let him walk all over them.

DeeBeeDee3

He assaulted you. He needed someone to indicate in no uncertain terms,
that he had been grossly inappropriate. You did right.
HE SPAT ON YOU FFS.
He’s lucky it wasn’t me.
Ask your critical family and friends
if they would like you to spit on them.
Ask them how they’d enjoy it.

D0wnb0at

The title says smacked, so thought this was going to be YTA, but you clipped him round the back of the head for spitting on you. NTA. Your family is overprotective and need to do better jobs of raising their kid.

Kalisuperfloof

Seems to me ur only failure was in not also smacking the parents who have clearly sat there doing nothing whilst he “squirted saliva at people”..they are also at fault for a past/present lack of parenting..

MyChoiceNotYours

NTA spitting on someone is classed as assault so he got what he deserved. His parents need to raise him better or he’s going to end up spitting on the wrong person and end up in the ER or the morgue.

Significant_Cover958

You could have knocked his teeth out and I would have jumped up to give you a hug. That’s so disgusting and disrespectful. You should have closed hand smacked his parents for raising a nasty fucker.

SassyCatLady442

Nta. I’m completely against hitting, but if the young man is 14, he knows better. Spitting on someone on purpose is considered assault, so you hit in retaliation of being assaulted.

tcat1961

My mom smacked me in the mouth with her ring hand for saying “I hate you!” as a 14 year old! I sassed her this one time and never did it again. His parents should have thanked you!

BagLong8093

Oh dear, firstly spitting in any capacity, unless it’s in tissues, in the sink, toilet you know….. you are right to feel angry and gross
Here in the uk it’s actually assault

SocalR32

Spitting on people is battery, just a lesson learned. Been having this discussion lately about having to bring back some physical responses to this new generation if fafo’s…

unexpectedthrowawaay

NTA your nephew is 14. He should know better and you smacked him not punched him. Should you have smacked his mother and father instead for not teaching him manners?

lilypicadilly

NTA! Thats total bullshit and he shouldve been sent away from the table if he wont stop. I think I’d have gone apeshit and smacked more than his head.

Suncroft56

Why the fuck didn’t they discipline your nephew? Little scumbag. Spitting is disgusting.

You’re NTA. You should have slapped him harder.

Aggressive_Trade2016

Fuck around and find out. Pretty self explanatory. Maybe next time he’ll stop and think before squirting his bodily fluids on other people.

Longjumping-Lab-1916

NTA. That’s disgusting.

He’s not a ‘child”, he’s 14 and unless he’s been diagnosed with the IQ of a 3 year old, headed for trouble.

Thusk223

NTA

He’s14 for God’s sake. At a table no less??? Where are his guardians to smack him for literally spitting at others??

Different-Speed-1508

NTA. if people dont discipline their children they lose the right to be appalled when somebody else does it for them.

Careless-Image-885

NTA. Your nephew is disgusting. Why didn’t anyone stop him after the very first time he spit on someone?

Affectionate_Fee3133

NTA, they’re mad about that? I was hoping you leaned over the table and gave him five across his face.

MrWrestlingNumber2

Ask anyone that gives you a hard time if you can spit on them. Then start hawking til they answer.

seablz

Yeah NTA. He’s old enough to understand getting smacked is a risk when you spit on people.

SpecificThe

Talk shit, get hit. 14 is old enough to anticipate the consequences of his actions.

photogfrog

NTA and I’d have made a much bigger scene if that were me. That’s super gross.

lanadropemoff

should’ve smacked him 2x. thats disgusting and disrespectful. you’re nta!

Sea-Command3437

In the UK, deliberately spitting on people is classed as an assault.

Dipshitistan

Spit on me and you’ll be lucky if all you get is an open hand.

AcadiaPuzzleheaded74

Should have smacked him in the mouth. That’s disgusting. NTA

Away_Lake5946

Anyone else picturing Tyrion slapping Joffrey?

The_GucciMan_FR

If i was your brother/sister i’d cut you off

Lambsenglish

Clap that fool. He’s old enough to learn.

B1lB0Braggins

NTA. Your nephew is disgusting.

Ok_Following6440

NTA. Fuck around and find out.

Conclusion

The OP is currently feeling distressed because his defensive reaction to being spat upon—an act he viewed as highly disrespectful—has led to strong disapproval from his family members who believe he overstepped by physically disciplining another person’s child.

The core debate centers on whether a strong, immediate physical reaction to being deliberately defiled is justifiable self-defense against disrespect, or if it represents an unacceptable overreach of parental authority in a family setting, regardless of the provocation.