My husband left me, my daughter is gone, and he’s taking back everything he promised me

The original poster (OP) details the severe breakdown of her marriage, which has resulted in official divorce proceedings. Key figures in this situation are the OP, her now estranged husband (STBXH), her daughter, and her family. The central event that precipitated the current crisis appears to be a video or incident involving the husband, after which the OP’s family began accusing him, leading to the husband becoming completely withdrawn and emotionally distant.

Following the separation, the husband has served the OP with divorce papers, moved out, and is strictly adhering to a prenuptial agreement that leaves the OP with very little support. The immediate aftermath includes the OP moving in with a friend, her family continuing to harass the husband, and her daughter attempting to intervene, leading to a restraining order and her arrest. The OP is now facing extreme financial instability, has lost contact with her daughter, and is struggling with the sudden and complete severance from her marital and family support systems.

My husband left me, my daughter is gone, and he’s taking back everything he promised me

Been a while and i see a bunch of people asking for updates, i wasn’t in the mood and i have been crying myself to sleep every night. I don’t know what to do anymore, i lost my husband, family and my daughter.

Thank you to everyone first but it’s official im getting divorced.

I was served with the divorce papers and my husbandwant nothingto do with us anymore.

I have moved out of the house and i am currently staying with a friend untill i can get my life back in order.

I have cut completely contact with my family but they still try and get into contact with me from different numbers or from different profiles on FB and Instagram. I don’t know how long i can continue to stay with my friend because her life is now being impacted as well with my family members just showing up at her apartment.

I would like to get a different place to stay but my salary won’t be able to cover everything i need. My husband or STBXH covered all our bills previously but now i have to do everything myself.

My daughter just packed her things a little over a week ago and moved away i don’t know where she is at the moment and her friends are refusing to tell me anything.

She tried to talk to my STBXH and he got a restraining order against her, she violated the order and he got her arrested, i don’t know what went on in her head i tried to talk to her but she was admitted that she will fix everything but like i said my ex got a restraining order against her and then had her arrested when she kept going to him.

My daughter will have to drop out of college because my ex is now refusing to continue covering anything els for her and retracted his offer to continue paying. He sent me a message saying he done.

I didn’t respect his wishes so i had to get out of his house immediately and my daughter also went against his wishes so he is retracting everthing from her as well. She is on her own.

He said if i or my daughter continues harassing him he will open up a case against my daughter for defamation.

I don’t have enough money for myself at the moment with my job and all the bills so i definitely can’t assist her, she packed up in the middle of the night and just left after i told her she will have to drop out and get a job.

My STBXH became completely emotionless and cold the last couple of weeks and refused to talk to me about anything other than anything regarding the divorce.

He said he would have been supportive and assisted for a while untill i could get on my feet but it clear we only want to use him, his generosity so he is done. He wanted to void the prenup we have but will now follow the prenup to the letter meaning i will basically get nothing in the divorce.

I don’t want anything, i just want him back.

Even with everything that happened, i still want my husband the kind, carring, sweet man i had i want him back. I need him to come back. I told him my daughter moved out of the house and asked again if we could try and fix our marriage and he didn’t even respond.

The last message i got from him was him asking if i signed the divorce papers yet or if i got a lawyer yet to look over the divorce papers.

Because he want to be done with this and move on because it’s clear to him now that no one in my family me included respected him at all. In that message he also said i should get my family to back off because they are still harassing him with message, calls and email and he is sick of it.

If they don’t stop het will report them as well.

To the people that keep asking me why i didn’t do anything when the lies started to spread i did do everything i could. I was accused of protecting my creep of a husband and the video didn’t help because i did send it to some of my relatives but it has no audio so it only shows him knocking and then walking in my daughter said sje awnsered him and he still went in.

Here’s how people reacted:

imf4rds

You are never getting back together full stop. As soon as she lied, you should have put her on blast. Asked her to stay with the aunt and shared the tape. You didn’t. You were too passive. These are called consequences. You and your daughter have done enough. He cannot be nice to you because you have misused his generosity. I got broken up with 3 months ago to my ex of six years. I love this man with my whole being. But I am not crazy. Life isn’t a rom com. If someone doesn’t want to be with you and they tell you not to bother them you leave them alone. You’ve blown up your life. Just get a therapist and work to rebuild. You don’t seem to know how to leave anyone alone when they tell you too.

AlodiaBeauty

Wow, this is a whole reality show season in one post. First off, I’m sorry you’re going through all this—it sounds absolutely exhausting. But honestly, it feels like everyone here made their own chaos and now it’s just spiraling. Your ex clearly set boundaries and dipped the moment those were crossed. Your daughter seems to be on her own mission, but maybe it’s time for you to focus on rebuilding your own life instead of chasing people who’ve already checked out. Take a breather, set some goals, and get some stability—you deserve a fresh start away from all this drama.

OkLocksmith2064

you need to stop contacting him. Sign the papers and move away. Get a new job and start new.

I don’t know why you didn’t right away tell your daughter that he won’t pay for anything regarding her.

I don’t know why you would harass him when he was willing to help you till you get back on your feet. Now you’ve lost everything cause you handled everything badly.

I wish you all the best. Move. Move far away, no Instagram, no Facebook, nothing. Start new.

Good luck and merry christmas. You will thrive, you need just a little time. And stop contacting your daughter.

Scannaer

I have zero sympathy for you and your goons. You failed your husband, you did not everything you should have done. You daugther tried to destroy his life to look good. And your family of goons continue to harass him.

In my opinion everyone except your ex husband is getting away with a slap on their wrist compared to what happened to your ex. You all deserve worse. False accusations need to have far harsher punishments. So be happy about what you have and stop harassing him, sign the divorce papers and get your aweful family under control.

Brose101

NTA.

The only thing you can do is walk away and let him lick his wounds in peace.

Your daughter came a sneeze from permanently ruining his life. Her regrets don’t change that. Your regrets don’t change that.

You did the right thing by going NC with your family and daughter, because that will be better for you in the long run, too, even if it doesn’t feel like it now.

Sign the divorce papers, and see what local services are available for you to use to survive. It may also be a good time to move to a new city. A fresh start all around.

Winter_Apartment_376

OP, I hope you read this!

I am so, so, so sorry! Everyone seems to be focused on your husband, but I want to say this – you did EVERYTHING right. And what he has done has been unproportionally cruel to you. I now it might take years to really internalize this, but he is cruel. He punishes you for your daughters mistake. That level of cruelty towards a person who tried to do everything to correect someone else’s mistake was unwarranted and just pure evil.

I hope you find peace. Please message me if you need another woman to talk to.

Rowana133

You are being selfish and still only thinking about you and your feelings. Me..me..me. you aren’t getting him back, if you truly love him, let him go. You and your daughter have done so much damage to that man. Tell him he can press charges for harassment on your family because they won’t stop with you either and then wish him well and sign the papers. Figure out your life and how you will support yourself moving forward. At least grant him a peaceful divorce since you and your daughter nearly destroyed his entire life.

Challenge-Optimal

Just let him go. Did you have noticed that everything that you and your daughter are doing, is just making him more angry, anxious, overwhelmed and hating you more? You have no right to be pressuring him. If, and only if, he wants to reconnect with you, it will be on HIS terms and on HIS time. Every action you are doing, besides respecting his boundaries and singing the divorce papers, is killing the last bits of respect and consideration he have to you. You are just sending him further away.

Ok_Purple766

I am sorry, but he is already checked out. I read your updates, you did all you could, your daughter is just an evil little bitch who ruined two lives and her own. I don’t think there is anything to come back to.

For the sake of justice, kick her out and cut her off. Tell everyone in the family what she did and how she ruined a family for drama, and that no one should take care of her in case she causes drama in their own home.. She deserves all the punishment and no sympathy.

AsuraRathalos

Damn bruh your daughter is a class act, I wished there were places to store information like this on a person, because this isn’t something any man would want to deal with, if she dates men.

Anyways you should tell you ex to file a police report on your family, get all the names and addresses for them and either file the report or sue them for defamation or something. What they’re doing is total harassment and it’s disruptive to his life and maybe even work.

BlueGreen_1956

Still YTA

You and your daughter need to leave this man alone.

Your daughter should have been dragged out of that house kicking and screaming.

There should be a public database listing every woman who ever made a false accusation of SA/SH against a man, so ALL men can avoid their nasty asses.

As for you, sign the damn divorce papers and never contact this man again.

Hell awaits, but you won’t be too lonely. Your daughter will be with you.

AdAccomplished6870

Just leave the poor man alone. I get that you are a secondary victim here, but your d%mb@ss daughter, out of whatever need for attention or drama, along with your toxic family, almost destroyed his life. Look at it from his standpoint. Even in divorcing, he was trying to be more than fair, but you and your family couldn’t respect him.

Your family is awful, and you probably need to work a bit on yourself. Leave him alone

voncockrane

This is an example of how easy it is for a malicious woman to end a man’s life with a lie. It may not have been your fault, but I understand your husband and woud’ve done the same. In a sense he was “lucky” that your daughter eventually relented and told the truth, but that doesn’t always happen and he may never recover from this.

Best thing you can do is respect his wishes and disappear from his life.

Updateme

Away-Understanding34

You are going to have to accept that you have to let him go. He’s never going to be the husband you remember. He’s not going to take you back. It is time to face reality and sign the papers. Then work on rebuilding your life. You may have to get a 2nd job to pay the bills but it’s time to figure it all out. If your insurance covers therapy then do it asap.

Dresden_Mouse

This poor guy, nobody respects him or his choices, your daughter, a candidate for dumbest person alive, have done damage over damage over damage and the little grace this poor guy gave you couldn’t respect and fuck it out. It’s over there is no back to living with and off him, now you are gonna have to fence for yourself.

SIGN THE DAMN PAPERS

writing_mm_romance

You still don’t understand your daughter almost destroyed his life, his reputation, and his freedom. She allowed people to slander him. Let this poor man try and rebuild his life and his sense of self. You need to sign the papers and give him what’s left of his life back, at this point he probably regrets ever meeting you.

thetruthfornow

It is painful to say, but it seems that your family, because of your daughter, has thrown you under the bus. You need to burn that bridge with your family and separate yourself totally and completely from them. Your daughter belongs far on that other side of your family, away from you!

Accurate_Scarcity

Your family is the worst. They ruined his life and now continue to not leave you and him alone. They’re the biggest problem and the AH. He should get a restraining order on them and you too. Were they always like this?

Mindless-Top766

Please leave him alone. If you truly love him as much as you claim do the right thing and leave him alone. He is never gonna love you or want you again and you know that. Just do the right thing and leave him alone.

First_Car7204

What is wrong with you?? You and your family have ruined and broken this man who loved cared and provided. I cannot believe you all are still harassing him. Your daughter ruined your life accept it.

Cool_Hunter4864

Gross.

You and ur disgusting daughter ruined his life.
Good on him for leaving.

Stop feeling sorry for urslf and get help.

Yta. He doesn’t want u! Leave him alone.

danny6199

Sign the fucking papers and STFU!

What you and devils offspring did was horrible!

Nobody feels sorry for you, you both got exactly what u deserve

babyonfire88

your daughter decided to take the ‘move out’ challenge to the next level? I guess she really wanted to win the ‘Most Dramatic Exit’ award

LosWindtalker

I feel bad for the husband so much. Poor dude went through absolute hell for something he didn’t do. Leave alone and let him move one.

Imaginary-Yak-6487

Your marriage is over bc of your daughter’s unforgivable lies. It’s not about what you want. It’s not about you. Leave him alone.

MikeReddit74

Your STBX doesn’t want to reconcile with you. Once broken, some things can’t be fixed. Sign the papers so you can both move on.

Dipshitistan

So you somehow managed to be both a shitty mother and a shitty wife. Not an easy daily double to manage, but you did it.

That_Seesaw6590

Wait…were you STILL expecting him to pay for your daughter’s college after what she did to him??? LOL…

Aeonxreborn

You have to let him go. Your daughter destroyed him. Let the man claw some life back.

Comfortable-Bug1737

You now need to leave him alone before you yourself, end up with a restraining order

Potential_Stomach_10

Leave the man alone. He’s suffered enough at the hands of your daughter and family.

dicknut420

One more cautionary tale of why men should not marry single mothers of daughters.

StarsBear75063

>I don’t want anything, i just want him back.

Not going to happen. Move on.

debicollman1010

Please leave this man alone. You missed your chance to protect him!!

puzer11

” I don’t want anything, i just want him back. “…and his money…

Spare_Answer_601

She’s Your Daughter. Why do you have to ask this question?

Round-Ticket-39

He went nuclear super fast. Like… sus fast

NefariousnessFresh24

Good – props to your soon-to-be-ex

Ambitious_Cheek4921

Poor dude, still getting harrased

Conclusion

The OP is in a state of deep distress, having lost her husband, financial security, and contact with her daughter, all while her own family continues to complicate matters by harassing the ex-husband. Her actions, including the initial sharing of the video with relatives, are now being used as justification by the husband to enact the strictest terms of their prenup and cease all financial support for both the OP and their daughter.

The core conflict is the OP’s intense desire to reconcile with the man she remembers versus the reality of the man who has clearly ended the relationship due to perceived disrespect from her and her family. The central question for consideration is whether the OP should focus on immediate survival and establishing boundaries, or if continuing efforts to repair the marriage, despite the husband’s definitive actions and restraining orders, is a worthwhile pursuit.