The boyfriend reacted immediately and extremely negatively, jumping out of bed, stating he was ‘done,’ and expressing annoyance that the incident occurred under the blanket. This severe reaction left the OP shocked and deeply hurt, creating a dilemma about how to proceed in the relationship given the intensity of his response to a natural bodily function.
My boyfriend (30) and I (28F) were cuddled in bed, under a blanket. Not doing anything, just cuddled up. Randomly, I farted, literally out of no where and he IMMEDIATELY jumped out of bed and said, “okay I’m done” and started getting dressed, saying, “stuff like this irks me”.
I replied, “I understand, but that was completely unintentional but also very natural”. His response, angrily, “why would you fart in the bed, under the blanket?”.
I just sat there, shocked, with absolutely no words! At that moment, my heart shattered into every tiny piece imaginable.
Conclusion
The core conflict rests between the boyfriend’s seemingly rigid expectation of absolute physical perfection, even in intimate settings, and the OP’s realization that this reaction caused significant emotional pain. The OP is left questioning the viability of a relationship where a completely natural and unintentional act is met with such disproportionate anger and withdrawal.
The question for consideration is whether the boyfriend’s extreme overreaction reveals a deeper issue regarding respect and emotional safety within the relationship, or if the OP should attempt to accommodate his unusually high standard of behavior. Should the OP stay with someone whose boundary regarding flatulence is so absolute that it shatters her trust?
Here’s how people reacted:
I have been married for 25 years.
My husband and I have seen each other through all of life’s ups and downs. Through job loss, death of a family member, death of a pet, really bad illness, hospitalization, you name it.
Let me ask you this.
Do you want a partner by your side who is going to be there through thick and thin?
If a crisis happens, if you need to go to the hospital, if you are in an accident, if you lose your job and you’re crying, who do you want by your side?
Someone who is going to stay there no matter how hard you cry, no matter how bad the mess is, no matter how challenging or unappealing your recovery might be?
Or do you want a partner who doesn’t want to be there through the challenging parts, who only wants to see you at your prettiest, and if you’re suffering or in pain, they need to bail and take a vacation while you recover on your own? Do you want a partner who doesn’t acknowledge that you’re a human being? Do you want to partner who would prefer that you’re a pretty little doll made of plastic?
I know that no matter what happens to me, my husband will be there. If I’m in an accident and there’s blood, he’ll be there. If something embarrassing happens, he’ll be there. If I cry in front of him, he will wipe my tears. If I experience hardship, he will be by my side and he won’t leave. And I will do the same for him. If my husband needs me to wipe his ass, I will wipe his ass. Because we are committed and we are not afraid of being human beings.
You deserve a partner who loves you fully, as a human being.
I can’t imagine why you would want to stay with someone who denies part of your humanity, and only wants you when you’re at your best and your prettiest and your most artificial.
It’s a natural thing and not something to be made fun of by your partner. Now if you two were friends then I’d understand just picking and making fun of each other. Exception being if you set off a nuke.
Unfortunately I’m competitive and would have tried to one up your fart with a fart of my own.
NTA
I wonder his response when he discovers that you poop…
If you were married and had kids, would he be in the room and say “eww gross”?
If this irks him, worse things may be yet to come.
Might want to look for an adult to date because this guy isn’t!
otherwise NTA, and he is very immature
Fart under blanket. Pull blanket over the head of other person in bed. Hold down blanket over them while you yell DUTCH OVEN!!!!
We all having things that irk us, I don’t particularly like being close to people I don’t know but I still get on a bus.