Shoving your dog is not acceptable. Our pets are very much like our children, with a psychologist (I forget who, I think he’ll actually write a study instead of just an article in the next 10 years hopefully) even making connections to how his patients would act whenever anything happened with them. If I had been in her shoes, I would have asked you if we could have, perhaps, gotten a nice, sturdy, wooden box with a dog bed at the foot of the bed so we could have our room, or even just have the dog in a bed on the ground at night. He’ll, even just get a bigger bed. I would NEVER attempt to train anyone’s pet without their explicit permission. I actually visited a former friend who had gotten a new corgi, and they got super jealous of me paying attention to the cat instead. When they started trying to jump up the back of my legs, my form friend finally grabbed them while laughing, and I was laughing too. But we had a pug here at home once, and he would NEVER stop stepping on someone’s heels or jumping on the back of their legs, while walking especially. One day I was in the yard doing some work, and he was doing that, so I kicked back. Not hard obviously, but it shoved him far enough that when I looked back, he was just staring at me in a confused and “how dare thee!” way, but he stopped jumping…on everyone really.

But that was OUR OWN DOG. She had no right. I don’t care that she was your gf. That’s bullshit that these assholes think they’re entitled to so much, they can just take over everything in the others’ life. You want a dog to train and have more control over, or control over in your own way, get your own damn dog, or communicate, FULLY, with your SO.

This infuriates me so much, ffs.

My velvet hippo and pomsky slept in my bed until my main moves in. If she would have acted like that towards my dogs that would have been the end of it right then and there. I took it upon myself to acclimate them to sleeping anywhere but my bedroom, as I knew it would be a hassle when it came down to intimacy. It’s very difficult to have a good session when there’s a 80lb dog and a hyper pomsky on the bed with y’all. I made the executive decision for the good of my sex life, but *I* was the one to make the call. We talked before she moved in and I explained to her that my house was just as much theirs as it is mine and that she was welcome but that she was also the newcomer. We all get along and haven’t had any issues since the move.

Dogs are essentially family members to most people who have them. On an emotional level, it probably feels like she pushed your child off the bed. The right person for you will love that dog, not attribute negative human social dynamics to a dog, and understand that the bond between you and your dog is normal and worth respecting. If she doesn’t want to be around dog hair, she shouldn’t sleep on the bed that has belonged to you and your dog for longer than you’ve known her. Some people just don’t get it. We make the choice to keep a few lint rollers around because it’s really not that big a deal, and our pets sleeping next to us is a way they tell us how much they love us and feel safe with us or want to keep us safe.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to not want to sleep in bed with a dog every night.

That said, you don’t get to push the dog or be mean to the dog.

The 3 of you all have complex thoughts, emotions, and relationships. And the dogs’ feelings matter too. Idk that your dog is jealous, but let’s say he is. Is that not valid? Wouldn’t the correct response be to build a relationship with the dog to change the dynamic from I’m taking your best friend away from you, to we are all 3 best friends?

Instead of just trying to push the dog out of bed, get him a nice dog bed, create a nice sleeping space for him, and take the time to help him adjust with some treats and positive reenforcement.

When dating my wife and I acquired 2 dogs. A pit heller (“heeler,” but autocorrect decided on heller and honestly that fits better) and a chihuahua. Somehow we made it work with our four bodies (the pittie grew to be about 60lbs) in our Queen beds. The dogs always slept in the middle, of course. Then we moved in together and decided we needed a King bed so we could all be comfortable, not just the dogs. If you really like this girl, talk to her about how this dog is your life and if necessary, get a bigger bed. It kind of sounds like she doesn’t like dogs, though, and that’s a much bigger problem.

Animals sleeping in beds often cause relationship issues.
When I got together with my now fiancee, I told her I was not cool with animals in the bed. She respected that and guess what, the dogs are fine not sleeping in the bed and her and I get on amazingly.
Relationships are about compromise and it’s up to you if you’re willing to compromise.
One big thing that bothers me about animals in bed is they ruin intimacy.

I have two dogs. Recently I decided to leave. My Heeler loves me but is his BF so I left her. My Yorkie is devoted to me but he is old and loves being a Farm dog. I took him but he was not doing well. I returned to him that night. It is more about them than it could ever be about me. I returned after much discussion. But it will always be about the animals.

OP find you someone like me! Animals always come first!!

this is a serious question, is it a big dog? can yall sleep comfortably together in the bed with a dog in the middle? cause i can understand some frustration of sleeping with a big dog that takes up a lot of room, i’ve only ever had cats so this was practically a non issue because they hardly take up room. is she a dog person overall? yall dont sound very compatible in my opinion.

You actually have to ask this question? Who would EVER get rid of a loving, loyal pet for someone who obviously hates pets. My
Mom always said “be leery of anyone who doesn’t like cats”. It’s been proven over and over in my life that was the best advice she ever gave me. AND I’ll add dogs to that statement.

I think you are. Yes, pets are great. But we gotta be realistic. The benefit of a lifetime relationship with a woman you were serious enough to share a home with should outweigh the 15 year max relationship with an animal. Lets not act like you can’t get another dog. A lifetime partner is much harder to find.

NTA. Don’t give her an ultimatum. Your dog counts on you, if you’re not there can you trust your gf to properly care for it? It’s not crazy to put your dog over a new relationship. You have had a relationship with your dog for seven years this girl just a few months….

Yup. Move on. She doesn’t sound healthy. She should respect your situation and if she has issues with it, talk to you about it instead of shoving the dog. Find someone who can communicate and treat animals nicely. Plenty of fish in the sea.

NTA. But this probably should have been discussed before moving in together. I’d never share a bed with a dog so that’d be a dealbreaker for me. Sounds like the opposite is one for you. Can easily see how y’all aren’t compatible.

If she doesn’t respect your emotional needs now, trust me, she will get worse. Based on my personal experiences, dump that biotch immediately and get on with a healthy life. Find a partner that respects you and your life.

Kick the girlfriend to the curb…if she’s jealous of the dog she has bigger issues that will reveal themselves later in the relationship. FWIW…find someone else who is a dog lover, you’ll be much happier in the long run.

Nah, you’re not crazy and your dog is more important to you than someone who is jealous of a dog. It’s like with people with kids. The animals and children will always be put first over a partner with jealousy issues.

My GF also came after our dog. She would never ever ask me to choose between her or the dog. That’s a deal breaker for me/us.

For you, the dog is a part of your world. For your dog, you are their world.

You’re seeing a sign of things to come. Smash it one more time and tell her to hit the road. Anyone who is mean to animals isn’t someone you probably want to be around anyway.

My pupples (large Labradorks) keep me warm during the cold winter nights. At one point, I had 6 piled up on top of me. Yeah, I wash blankets and bedding constantly, but …❤️

Not at all. The dog is part of your life. Love me, love my dog. If you HAVE to keep her around, throw a bed on the floor in the corner and tell your gf to sleep there.

Humans > dogs. Not all dogs are “good boys.” Can’t change my mind. Have fun sleeping with your dog instead of a female human. Dog people are nuts.

Get rid of her, not your dog. Your dog will love you unconditionally while she may probably go away if she doesn’t get her way

NTA. You’re not wrong, she is being disrespectful. I’m sure you can come to some sort of compromise. If not, good bye.

Watch “A boy and his dog” with her and when she is kinda traumatized by the implied cannibalism, tell her goodbye.

“She thinks my dog is jealous and doesn’t like her.” Yeah you should let her go. She is never going to change.

The dog was there first its his home and bed she is the guest period. She TA move on it will only get worse.

Dump her.

Your dog was in your home before she was, she does not get to dictate where the dog sleeps.

I wouldn’t choose a dog over a person, but I would get rid of a person that doesn’t like my dog.

ESH What size is your bed and what size is the dog?… also dogs can be jealous and show it…

Not the a hole. Your dog definitely doesn’t like her. Listen to your dog.

My dude, didn’t she know the dog sleeps in the bed before she moved in?

careful this is how zoos start… from what I’ve seen online

She’s gotta go. Props to you for putting your dog first. 🙂

Do you at least lock the dog out when you try to get busy?

Don’t trust anyone that your dog doesn’t like! Dogs know

Dump her! I stopped reading when she pushed the dog.

You’re a package deal with the dog. Real simple.