The OP expressed intense sadness and anger, feeling robbed of the cherished experience of watching her children open gifts, an event for which she had invested significant time and effort in planning and wrapping. When confronted, the husband defended his action by stating he never wakes her up, leading to a heated argument where the OP called him an ‘asshole.’ The OP is now left deeply hurt, angry, and unsure how to reconcile her expectations with her husband’s actions.
My husband is usually a great husband and father, but I am so effing pissed right now. I don’t think I’ve ever been this mad.
I woke up this morning around 8:30 when I hurt the kids running around.
I knew they would be eager to open their Christmas presents so I got up immediately.
I have a lot of trouble sleeping for various reasons so my husband lets me sleep in every morning and watches the kids until I wake up naturally or I have to get up to help get the kids ready for the day.
He knows what time to wake me up if I oversleep.
So I come into the living room and there is wrapping paper everywhere. All the presents are already unwrapped and the kids (5 and 7) are playing with them.
I immediately started crying and walked back into the bedroom where my sadness also turned into anger, and I started screaming like crazy. I am so, so mad. I spent so much time, thinking about what to get the kids, ordering it or driving around to find it in the stores, wrapping them and everything, and I feel like I was completely deprived of the joy of seeing their faces when they open their presents, which is one the best parts of Christmas.
My husband said he videotaped it. I screamed at him why he either couldn’t make the kids wait, or he could’ve just come and woken me up. He just said “I never wake you up in the morning” I said “it’s fucking Christmas morning.
You didn’t think I wanted to watch the kids unwrap the presents” and I called him an asshole.
He just said sorry, he didn’t say I overreacted. I’m really hurt right now and I don’t even know how to get over it.
I don’t feel like doing anything Christmasy today. I’m so disappointed in everybody.
Conclusion
The core conflict revolves around a breakdown in unspoken expectations during a significant family event. The OP feels her husband disregarded a crucial tradition and emotional need she holds for Christmas morning, turning what should be a joyful experience into a source of deep disappointment and resentment. Her husband, while offering a brief apology, seemed unwilling to acknowledge the depth of her feelings regarding this specific morning.
The situation forces a choice between respecting established routines, even on holidays, and adapting behavior for exceptional circumstances. Readers must consider whether the husband was reasonably following a standing rule, or if this was a clear failure to recognize and honor the emotional significance of Christmas morning for his wife. Is the OP’s reaction an overreaction to a lapse in judgment, or was the husband insensitive to her emotional labor and desires?
Here’s how people reacted:
People can’t read each other’s minds. And no two people will ever think of or see a situation in the same light exactly.
It could have very well been that your husband simply did not have or does not have the same emotional attachment to that moment as you did this morning.
Unless you specifically told him not to let the kids one the presents without you, he may as very well thought it he was doing a good thing by letting you sleep and videotaping it.
Always be willing to accept that not everyone has the same emotional perspective as yourself; it might not occur to someone else to do X or Y just because you think they ought to be emotionally speaking. And they may not have had any malaice or disregard for you in the process. They just simply didn’t think as you do emotionally.
When all the relatives arrive we have our meal.
After our meal, then we open gifts. It’s not a mad rush.
What this did was reinforce that the holiday was about family togetherness, not the gifts.
There were many years our gifts consisted of socks, new underwear, maybe a special treat like oranges or apples. We didn’t have money for fresh fruit and vegetables as kids so this was like heaven for us. My favorite Christmas gift was a new drawing tablet or a new book.
I find more joy watching someone open the gifts that I spent time making or sourcing than I do opening anything myself.
I am so sorry your family didn’t wait for you. I hope you find peace.
You know exactly what Christmas morning entails, you cannot possibly be so naive to think children wouldn’t tear into their presents like rabid Chihuahuas. Your first reaction to seeing them happy about the presents is to break down and cry, then throw a tantrum at your husband for not letting you see the *exact* moment your kids find out what they got?
You’re more of a child than the ones you gave birth to. You need therapy. YTA.
And then to throw a temper tantrum? Wtf?
Should he have waited or woke you up? I think so, but the attitude you put forth is why a lot of people like me just do not care about the holidays anymore.
This time of year isn’t about you or what you purchased, it’s about family and helping out those who need it.
Your husband made a mistake but not worth ruining the whole xmas over it, then you’d be a real asshole. It’s about the kids in the end not the adults.
I hope your husband likes not getting sex…
because that’s how you don’t get sex!
Also, if you husband heard you, your children very likely did as well.