AITA for not telling my straight roommate, who sometimes walks around the apartment naked, that I’m gay?

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A secret kept from a roommate could lead to a scandalous situation. One man’s discomfort turns into a daily temptation, but what happens when the truth comes out? You won’t believe how this story ends.
AITA for not telling my straight roommate, who sometimes walks around the apartment naked, that I'm gay?

I struggled with writing this. I’m in the closet to everyone so throwaway account for obvious reasons.

My roommate is a straight man, let’s call him Tom. We share a two-bedroom and have been friends for like a year. Anyway, he will sometimes walk around the apartment naked in the shared living areas (living room, kitchen, etc.). I will just say real quick that he has a great body all around.

He doesn’t know I’m gay and I believe he likely wouldn’t be doing this if he knew I was.

I have to say, I have never had this problem with a roommate before, EVER! And I would never walk around naked outside of my bedroom so I find the behavior very bizarre.

Let me give an example of what he does. The other day I was watching football, he was in the shower. He got out and crossed through the living room, between the couch where I’m sitting and the TV to get to the kitchen to have a drink. I obviously saw everything.

He then stood in the living room and watched the end of the game before going to his room to get dressed (the game was almost over).

I try really hard to avert my eyes in these scenarios. If there wasn’t a game on I probably would have just left the room and came back when he was dressed. In order to be completely honest, while I do avert my eyes most of the time, there have been a couple of times when I’ve looked.

(I’m a weak man).

I’ve confronted him about this and told him I’m uncomfortable with his nudity and asked that he stop. He has one of those douchebag-y personalities where if he knows something bothers you he just does it more, for lolz, so that backfired on me. He’s really liberal and has a gay brother so I don’t think he’d be homophobic if I came out but with his personality in mind I know that if I told him I’m gay and not to tell anyone he would tell everyone and laugh off my dismay.

So this is my dilemma. Some days I wake up and think I’m a huge asshole and a creep for not being upfront about my sexuality with this guy. He would never show his body off like that if he knew and I do get turned on by his behavior as much as I try to avoid it.

On other days I think what right does he have to know I’m gay. My sexuality is my business, I haven’t come out to anyone and I sure as hell don’t want to come out to him. I’ve already told him to stop and he won’t so it’s not my fault. I should just sit back and enjoy the show.

Am I the asshole for not telling my straight roommate that I’m gay?

Here’s how people reacted:

SoMuchMoreEagle

Not the asshole.

He’s doing it more now to get a rise out if you. He just didn’t intend for it to be an erection. That’s on him.

forshow

Dude won’t stop walking around naked even after you asked? He’s an asshole. I would be so fucking annoyed if my roommate walked around naked all the time. I’m bi but still this is my place to live not to see your junk all over the place. It’s gross too. He needs to get his own apt if he wants to do that.
OH_Krill

Most straight guys don’t do this. He knows you’re gay and wants to get a reaction out of you.
Yurschnaaa

Not an asshole, and with how you described him it sounds like being honest with him on why you’re uncomfortable with his behavior would be a poor placement of a lot of trust. To get him to stop, making the situation equally, if not more uncomfortable for him could do the trick. Example: every time he does this from now on, you poke fun at him for running around naked like a child who doesn’t understand why clothes are important yet. I’d even go as far as making snide remarks belittling his manhood until he learns to put some clothes on. Play a good old game of gay chicken with him to make him uncomfortable enough to cover up. Good luck, OP.
RancidLemons

You aren’t an asshole. He’s the one being naked. Look all you want.
gayjenjen

Get naked with him. Play swords but dont cross streams. If it’s awkward for you, make it awekwaed for him. See how he responds and reacts.
Zulban

Hilarious, love this post.
belpal1

You are, but only for introducing us to “Tom” in the second line and never using his fake name again.
aus_in

You’re not the asshole. I’m gay, and if I had a hot naked roommate I would do just as you said, sit back and enjoy the show. Any chance he’s picked up that you’re gay or are you super masc
Maybe_Not_The_Pope

I don’t think you’re an asshole, I do think that next time he does it, you should just start rubbing one out. Either it turns into a bad plot porn, or he freaks out and stops. So I think you win either way.
SparCrux

Just enjoy what he’s serving up for you. Maybe he’ll think you’re joking just to creep him out and he’ll stop.
gayjenjen

PS…come out of the closet! It’s great and liberating and free out here 😉
nmham

You aren’t under any obligation to come out just because this guy doesn’t want to wear clothes in shared areas of the house. You told him it makes you uncomfortable and asked him to stop and he didn’t. You don’t owe him shit.

I say you should definitely just sit back and enjoy the show.

Chimom315

Obviously late to the game, but I had to comment. This whole post/thread has me dying. No you are not an asshole whatsoever. You do have a meathead roommate though!

I’ve been reading some of the responses to my husband, because he’s like your roommate. He thinks locker room rules apply almost everywhere. If he’s anything like my husband, being naked is just his thing. I’m not even sure he’d connect the dots to be honest. Like, “maybe I shouldn’t be naked, since he might check me out.” Nah, I really don’t think having a gay roommate would’ve altered his behavior.

beetnemesis

Man who gives a shit. He’s the one showing you his weewee. “Oh but he didn’t know I would ENJOY IT!”

That’s on him.

You’re under no obligation to explain the inner workings of your mind.

empurrfekt

He’s an asshole for walking around naked thinking it makes you uncomfortable. He would be a major asshole if you told him and he outed you.

I think based on his actions thus far, and what his actions would be if you told him, you’re in the clear.

Elfere

If hes walking around naked, he’s just an at home nudist.

I’ve livee in multi people homes where one or more people would walk around naked… I even joined in for a while.

You’re not the asshole

ArilynMoonblade

What if you go the opposite route and instead of averting your eyes just stare. Stare hard (heh, heh. See what I did there?) and keep staring.
Hard_one123

Not an asshole.

I could totally be wrong, I don’t know much about how it is to be gay, but what it sounds like to me is the kind of shit I did in high school where I’d get hard and stand up during our breaks or end of class and have my dick obviously hard stuck to my leg in my angsty skinny jeans and chat with my crushes while that sat face level with my dick staring back at them. However I wasn’t naked.

Maybe he himself is gay, maybe he has a better gaydar than you and he has picked up on your gay pings. He may just be feeling out the waters. Plus you know the stereotypes of the douchey guy who is super “straight” turns out to be an angry closeted gay dude. Now I’m not saying tell him you’re gay. Honestly I wouldn’t because that fear you have of him outing you and tearing you down could be all the more real if he is a closeted angry gay guy. But I will say, he flaunts it, enjoy the show without the admission cost.

SmokeHimInside

Thy roommate is an QUEER.

Conclusion

The roommate’s shocking behavior pushed boundaries, but the ultimate reveal left everyone speechless. Did he find peace or just more trouble? Read on to discover the unexpected conclusion.

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