So me and my girlfriend got into a big fight last weekend. It ended with her dumping me and storming out. The next morning I go to the gym and this INSANELY hot girl that I have become friends with is there as well. She can tell I am a bit depressed and asks what happened.
So we are talking and she eventually gives the, “oh you poor baby, you shouldn’t be alone tonight” speech.
This was pretty exciting for me since she is so unfairly hot. I always knew she had a minor thing for me but never acted on it since I was in a relationship.
Well shortly after my work out, my ex calls me. I can already guess what it was about so I ignore the call. She calls a couple more times then leaves a text apologizing and asking to talk.
I texted her back saying that I would call her tomorrow. I wanted to get back to with her (which we have) but only after I went over the girl at the gyms house.
So I didn’t cheat because we were broken up, but am I still the asshole?
Conclusion
With his ex surprisingly back in the picture, he faced a dilemma: return to the familiar or embrace the unexpected thrill. What followed was a choice that would test his loyalties and redefine his definition of a ‘clean break’.
Here’s how people reacted:
Keep in mind if you did it without the intention of getting back with ex you’d be kinda a douche but not an asshole.
Be “not the asshole” and don’t get back with your ex. You’d be doing her a solid and would be less of an asshole.
Glad you enjoyed your fuck. Now stay in shape bc my hunch says she’s a loose cannon and will pull this type of bs again
I guess you already know that, otherwise you wouldn’t even ask. So I guess the question comes from you wanting to hear that you didn’t do anything wrong, despite the fact that you already know you did. It doesn’t matter if you were in a relationship or not when you slept with the other girl, it is the fact that you knew that you’re going to be together again.
So, if the girl from the gym didn’t appear, you would probably answer your girlfriends calls immediately. But she was a great catch so you didn’t want to miss it, which is selfish.
Also, if I were you, I couldn’t imagine even thinking about other girl/boy after my SO broke up with me. The first thing I would try to do is call him and try to fix the problem or something like that. So I’m wandering about how mature your relationship is at all, when you can just go with someone else. It wasn’t in affection, it was a calculated decision. You knew exactly what you were doing. I call it cheating. Because cheating isn’t just sleeping with the other person while you’re in a relationship.
As someone already said, think about how would you feel if someone did it to you. It would be even worse if you didn’t tell your girlfriend what you did and pretend it’s normal but still keep being with her. In that case it’s cheating, hiding things and lying. I can’t see that as an healthy relationship.
However, **you knew full well** that you were going to get back together with your girlfriend before you banged the gym girl, but delayed talking to your girlfriend in order to be able to bang the gym girl first. You weren’t really broken up and you knew it — you just had an argument with your girlfriend and took advantage of the situation to get some strange.
YTA.
Also, what was the fight about? Your fault? Her fault? Seems suspicious.
NTA if you tell her what happened.
Edit: if you’re going to downvote have the decency to comment why
She shouldn’t be breaking up with you when emotions run high. It’s more than acceptable for her to get mad, but she can’t make decisions like that without making you question her long term stability.
You couldn’t go one day. Really? Technically, I wouldn’t consider it cheating, but I’d be SO turned off if I were in her situation. I don’t think I could be attracted to a guy who wanted to stick it in another girl 12 hours post BU – I don’t care how hot or available she was. It’d just make me think you’re weak and I’d probably have little desire to get back together with you.