If you are making the same amount of noise that you would if you had to get up to use the bathroom or get a drink of water in the middle of the night (and it sounds like you are), then you aren’t being an asshole, your nightly schedule isn’t the problem, and roommate has to figure out how to cope.

Maybe that coping would be to buy some ear plugs. Maybe it would be for the two of you to buy a strip of carpet and oil the door hinges.

Honestly, your roommate is lucky he doesn’t have someone who snores to share his room, which is something that very much happens in those circumstances. Roommates make noise, shifting in bed, getting up, talking in their sleep. He gets to go half the night without having to worry about yours and that has probably given him a false sense of what is normal.

I would suggest you to shop with your roommate for a background noise maker. It can be a fan or an air purifier or a dehumidifier. I had one when I had a shared room and it was a freakin godsend. It’s nearly impossible to not wake a light sleeper, but if there’s constant background noise then your brain gets really used to it and it no longer bothers you. You have a lot more capability to make noise after that. And much less chance to wake him up.

Before I got one, my roommate woke me up nearly every morning and I woke him up almost every night. After we got one, it took a big mistake / large noise to wake each other up and we were so much happier with crazy schedules.

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I feel as though it’s my life and I can do what I want, and the way I act really isn’t that disturbing

It’s not your *place*, so you can’t do what you want. And you don’t get to decide what you do that disturbs other people, that’s for someone else to inform you about, not vice versa.

When you share a room, particularly with a relative stranger, every party living in that room needs to make lots of sacrifices in order to co-habitate.

That being said, I don’t think you’re an asshole here, yet. But you need to try and be more mindful, or at least explain your situation, to your roommate.

And get your own place before you start thinking you can do whatever you want. I know your first rental unit is a really awesome taste of freedom, but you’re still sharing a bedroom with someone, and need to be conscious of that.

Nope you are not. As long as you are considerate to have you hours and they have theirs.
I imagine they get up early in the morning and you are still sleeping, right? And they make some noise… and you are not confronting them on their hours

Headphones fer crissake, its 2018! Just put some waterfall sounds on.

I think you’re the asshole tbh. Even when you’re not deliberately trying to make noise you can still wake up the person next to you. Stuff like being in the library and watching movies late can easily be done during the day so you can go to bed early and not disturb your roommate.

Context affects this. It isn’t necessary that you stay out studying until 3 am, for example. (You could get up earlier and study earlier instead.) On the other hand, staying out with a friend on a Saturday night until late is less disruptive for people on weekday schedules. I’d be a lot more annoyed at you coming home at 3 am on a Tuesday than on a Sunday morning.

You should minimize how late you stay out, within reason, and be as quiet as you can when you get home (you may not be being as quiet as you think you are), but there is only so much you can do. So to me, you’re slightly an asshole, but only slightly.

Nah, fuck him. He’s a light sleeper, that’s his problem. You’re living there too and you don’t need to change your lifestyle because it’s inconvenient to him. Complain to him that he’s making too much noise when he wakes up early and you’re trying to sleep because you got a late night working, and that his behaviours is not okay with you. See how he feels then.

You pay your rent, you’re entitled to keep whatever hours you wish. You stated that you consciously keep quiet when entering, so you can do no more!
No way an asshole.

Yeah you’re an asshole. When people agree you be roommates there’s usually an expectation that everyone will keep fairly normal hours. 3 am is not normal hours for nearly anybody. Midnight is better but still pretty late. If you’re hanging out until 3am and coming in, even trying to be quiet, you’re going to disrupt most sleepers. You need to buckle your schedule down better.

>I feel as though it’s my life and I can do what I want, and the way I act really isn’t that disturbing.

Yeah you are the asshole. You agreed to share a space with someone, and it looks like they respectfully asked you to show some consideration for them.

Are you slamming the door or something? As long as you’re closing the door like a reasonable person and not stomping around you shouldn’t be an asshole.

Leaning towards not the asshole, because 1) you’re often coming from work/library, 2) you’re not drunk, and 3) it sounds like you’re trying to be quiet. (I’m assuming you’re only doing what you say, i.e. actually just coming in and lying down, and not making more noise than you realise by getting undressed, plugging your phone charger in etc… and not making much noise when you actually get into the apartment itself).

However I also totally sympathise with your roommate, I’m a light sleeper and it would drive me up the fucking wall if someone came in between 12 and 3am almost every night. It sounds like you may not be compatible roommates!

Your roommates are overbearing assholes. Shutting the door is seriously too much for their dainty sensibilities? Sounds like they need to grow up or try being less fussy about a door closing. It’s not like you’re in control of when you come home all the time either.

Not the asshole. As a light sleeper I get where your roommate is coming from but I can’t blame the fact that I wake up at every little noise on my roommate.