Hey people, I made an account just to post this.
About 6 months ago, I moved from my parent’s place to a student house for college. I have 4 other housemates; we share one small floor together (kitchen, shower, etc.).
I really like living here, and my housemates have been pretty chill so far. Everyone has their own lifestyle. Apparently there is no space for my lifestyle here though: I’m a friendly stoner.
I’m a night owl so I mostly stay up to around 3-4 am while getting high, playing games, and generally just having a good time. I got a few noise complaints (I play some online games that really just require voice chat to play properly so I might yell a bit or laugh out loud sometimes) but all was good, everyone still liked me.
I sometimes hung out and had a beer with one of my housemates who is also the guy that complains the most, so it can’t be that bad.
Last month, one of my overseas friends came to study here as well, and because housing isn’t easy to find here, I offered him to live with me indefinitely. My room and the house are tiny but I don’t need a lot of space anyway; I’m a chill guy.
Ever since he moved in, I get multiple complaints a week, ranging from people being annoyed by the weed smell (we smoke inside because it’s literally freezing right now) to noise complaints from the same guy as I described complaining about our ‘noise’.
We always stop playing music after midnight; after that it’s just us watching shows, talking, some weed, and a fun time. Yes, we often don’t go to sleep until 3 or 4 am, but it’s not like we’re being loud on purpose. We make sure the TV isn’t super loud and we try to keep our enthusiasm while playing games in check.
Still, this one guy keeps complaining. He even threatened to contact the landlord because apparently we can’t smoke indoors, do drugs indoors (lol it’s just weed), I’m too loud, and having someone extra just live in one of the rooms is apparently worse than murder for some reason.
He told me I need to respect the fact people work and get up early for college in the morning (I have a job next to college too, big woop) no matter how quiet I think I am. If I am disturbing his sleep after 12 in any way, he’ll get pissy.
Once again, we are not being excessively loud. Some people just need to chill. I know my lifestyle might not be a perfect match for some people, but I’m always chill and would never rat someone out like this myself.
I get that everyone has a different lifestyle but it seems unreasonable to me to ‘force’ me to stop being a night owl.
Edit: Okay, so apparently I am an asshole. I don’t really agree though. In case it wasn’t clear from my explanation: It’s a student house, not a dorm. It’s like your regular family home, except we only have the bottom floor. We have a kitchen, a bathroom, a shower area, a basement, and 5 rooms where people live.
Every single person living here is always welcome in my room for a talk, a beer, a joint, or whatever they want. I’m always nice to them. Maybe I understated it, but we’re really not being loud at night. Especially for the last week alone, we tend to just keep our media on mute most of the time and have regular conversations.
The walls might not be the fattest and most insulated things in existence, but how is a conversation in another room going to keep you from sleeping? Okay, it might not have been the smartest move ever to invite my friend to come live here, but I really wanted some company since I’m foreign in this country and don’t know that many people yet.
He makes sure to pretty much be a ghost to everyone that lives here.
Conclusion
Did this night owl learn his lesson or is the roommate the real villain? The ending will shock you!
Here’s how people reacted:
Just the sheer arrogant disregard for everybody else. People with adult levels of empathy have regard for other people’s sleep and comfort. Sleep is incredibly easy to disturb, even if you sleep through talking, other people can’t. And I know very few people who can sleep through the noise of gaming chat.
And smoking inside is always a dick move. It clings to fabrics, and the room will always stink to anybody not used to the smell. Yeah it’s weed, but some people aren’t cool with weed in the house and you need to respect that. Come on man, basic smokers etiquette.
Are you even legally sub-leasing? Does your rental contract allow another person to live there? Have your room mates agreed to it?
I stay up late while my girlfriend sleeps, playing online games with voice chat and smoking weed as well. Except, I use a vaporizer to reduce the smell or go outside, and I make sure to be quiet while using voice chat and I am actively conscious about not yelling. God forbid I just invited some other person to live with us indefinitely without talking to her. This is outside of a bf/gf relationship, I was the same way in college living with five other dudes. Do you know how unbelievably pissed my college roommates would’ve been if I just invited someone not on the lease to live with us?
It’s a matter of basic respect for the other people you live with. You clearly lack it. You’re not a “chill dude,” you put yourself first without care for anyone else in your vicinity.
I smoke too. I also live in Canada. The people I live with aren’t cool with me smoking inside. You know what I did a few weeks ago when there was a blizzard and it was about -33C with the windchill? I went outside, found a spot by the fence that could half block the wind, and smoked there.
Stop smoking inside.
I’d say if you’re not willing to compromise then you need to live by yourself or find roommates that are okay with your sleeping pattern.
I say this angrily because I’m in college housing right now, and the suite one door over from mine contains people exactly like you, right down to ‘inviting random guy over who just creeps around and nobody knows him’. It’s completely insufferable.
Don’t want to be an asshole? Get one of the oil pens which will greatly reduce smell and smoke. Tell your buddy he needs to find his own place. And cut the voice activated games after midnight. Or find a new 2 bedroom place for you and friend to live. Either way, stop imposing your lifestyle choices on your poor roommates. When you sign up for shared living, you agree to live by shared rules and certain cultural norms.
Change your ways before they kick you out, I play video games till about 3-5am also but that is no reason you have to be loud if you are playing past a certain time ditch the mike and be respectful to your flatmates.
Also, your title is wrong. You’re not an asshole for being a night owl. A better title would be “AITA for violating the terms of my lease, inviting someone to live in my house indefinitely without any say from my housemates, and not respecting my housemates’ personal space in multiple ways?”
First and foremost, **you are violating the terms of your lease in multiple ways**. That alone makes you an asshole. It doesn’t matter if you disagree. You signed the lease, you follow the lease, and you get punished if you violate the lease.
Second, it’s fine to bring someone to live with you indefinitely, **but only if** you clear it with your roommates first. How do you not see the problem with this?
Third, yes, a simple conversation through walls can keep people up. Why is it not proof enough that your roommates are complaining about it?
Do you think they’re lying? If so, why would they lie? Perhaps because they don’t want you living there? Why wouldn’t they want you living there? **Maybe it’s because you’re an asshole**.
There’s just no way to spin this, man. You’ve gotta grow up.
BUT I’m sure you signed a lease agreed to certain things and you’re breaking the rules. Smoking inside. I’d also be aggravated as shit about an extra person moving in all of a sudden without everyone agreeing. You literally said the place is tiny. There are already 4 people. That’s an asshole move.
If I had to use the bathroom or get ready real quick for work etc and some person that doesn’t technically live at my place is In the bathroom, bathroom blocking me, I’d be fucking pissed. Sounds like they’re all following the rules. So you should do the same or move somewhere else with different rules.
Edit. There were already FIVE of you sharing one bathroom/kitchen before your random friend showed up. HELL NAW
BUT, dude, as sympathetic as I am you absolutely cannot invite someone to come and live with you without getting unanimous agreement from everyone else. Other people are noisey, they take up resources like space and heat and water and toilet roll. It’s just asking for disaster. If you’re depriving your housemates of sleep too, not to mention exposing young naive students to a lifestyle they’ve never encountered (you’d be surprised how few people are ok with even weed let alone anything harder), then you’re really just being a cunt.
Just because you’re not loud *on purpose* still means you don’t recognize that other people live in that unit and have issues with the noise past a certain hour. Cities will usually have a decibel level that you can’t exceed at certain hours and it’s common for student housing units or apartment complexes to have their own noise rules. If you continue to piss off your roommates, they could take action that results in you no longer living there.
Did you ask them if your friend could move into your room? If not, you’re a MAJOR ASSHOLE. He may be living in your room but another person in any house means more utilities used, more food needed, possibly more parking needed. All of which is grounds for major discussion and being kicked out.
Also, the fact that you are such a chill guy and STILL don’t think you’re the asshole after multiple people have told you so, shows me that you’re not actually a chill guy. A chill guy could accept his faults and be chill about co-habitating with other people.