AITA for calling police on my ex for abandoning his child at mine while his girlfriend was giving birth?

She thought she was finally free from her cheating ex, but then he dropped a bombshell. The man who shattered her life reappeared, leaving her with an unexpected burden. What happens when the past comes knocking, with a child in tow?

I (32f) have been married to my ex “Dan” (35m) for 6 years before we divorced at the end of 2020 due to him cheating with “Kate”.

Kate and Dan have a son who is 3 which was conceived and born during the pandemic while I was under high risk and their entire affair has cost me some of my physical health, not just mental one. After the divorce Dan moved out from my house and we haven’t spoken since.

Last week Dan suddenly dropped his son at my house without giving me any warning or explanation. He only mumbled that Kate was giving birth to their second child and needs him in the delivery room due to complications. He left before I could protest and I have tried texting and calling him multiple times and have received no reply.

I do not know why he thought it is a good idea as I had plans and they definitely don’t involve someone else’s child.

I ended up calling the police and have told them what happened, explained it is not my child and I haven’t agreed to look after him and his dad is not responding. They took the child and I haven’t heard anything until very early hours of the same day when my ex called me calling me an asshole as the cops found them in the hospital and basically forced him out of delivery room so he can look after his child so he missed the birth of his second and Kate had some complications so she is in intensive care.

He also started shouting saying that his and Kate’s parents are living at the opposite ends of the country and have medical conditions which mean they can’t look after his son. I have told him that he should have used his brain cells and thought about it in advance instead of dumping the product of his affair at my house, knowing that me and him are not civil, but was called even bigger asshole.

I have mentioned this to some of my family and friends and while some people are on my side, others agree with my ex saying I should have looked after the kid and an asshole for calling the cops.

Here’s how people reacted:

Enough-Process9773

NTA

I mean, I do feel for that poor kid, being dropped off at a total stranger’s house, who then calls the police and the police take him to his dad and his dad is stressed and furious. That must have been a hellishly traumatising night for him.

But *you* didn’t decide to traumatise the boy like that: his dad did. *Of course* his dad should have figured out ahead of time what the plan was for looking after a three-year-old if his mom had to go to the hospital. *Of course* the plan should not have included “dump boy on ex with no notice”.

DominarDio

You haven’t spoken to this man in 3 years and he suddenly turns up expecting you to look after the child he had with his affair partner? This is absolutely bonkers.
Of course it was a very shitty situation for the child to be in but that’s not your fault or responsibility. Dad put him in that situation.

NTA

Final_Figure_7150

>He also started shouting saying that his and Kate’s parents are living at the opposite ends of the country and have medical conditions which mean they can’t look after his son.

Bit rich of him to expect you to care about any of that, after he gave zero craps about your health.

>I have mentioned this to some of my family and friends and while some people are on my side, others agree with my ex saying I should have looked after the kid and an asshole for calling the cops.

Tell those other friends they are more than welcome to look afte a child that’s dropped on their door step, but doesn’t mean you have to do the same.

NTA

ChibiSailorMercury

>others agree with my ex saying I should have looked after the kid and an asshole for calling the cops.

They’re wrong. It’s not your job to keep the peace and make life easier for your cheating ex, who made your life harder by his cheating while wasting years of your life and negatively affecting your health. His lack of preparation is not your emergency. Since divorce, you’re not his back up plan anymore.

Don’t want the police to treat you like a neglectful parent? Easy. Don’t be one.

NTA

I-hear-the-coast

NTA. “My wife is giving birth who do I trust to watch my child …. Strangers I pay? No. …. Friends? Don’t have any …. Oh I know! A woman who is essentially my enemy!” Bonkers

compiledexploit

NTA good for you for sticking up for yourself. 100% he was dipping his toe in the water to see how much shit he could stick you with.

It’s his fault for not having the common sense to use google to find an overnight sitter.

Attygalle

NTA. I feel very, very sorry for that child but that’s not your problem nor should it be.

>saying that his and Kate’s parents are living at the opposite ends of the country and have medical conditions which mean they can’t look after his son.

And those parents moved away and got health conditions after Kate started giving birth? What are the odds!

It’s piss poor planning from his side, at the least. I hope for the child’s sake this is an incident but I fear the worst.

Sufficient-Shallot-5

Who exactly are the people sticking up for him? Reconsider those friendships.

Electrical-Sleep-853

NTA WTF is wrong with your ex that you popped in to his head as hey she’ll watch my kid no. If anything you where nice you could have just bad mouthed them to the kid (I would have). Also WTF to they know literally none else like neither of them have friends?

Artistic_Tough5005

NTA
He abandoned his child that you don’t know with you to be there for the 2nd child’s birth. I would have done the same thing.

tabbycatt5

NTA. Your ex’s lack of foresight and planning is not your mess to clear up. Why on earth he considered dumping the kid on you is beyond me. If that kid hurt itself whilst under your care, you and only you would have been in the shit. Calling the police was the only reasonable response in this situation

Special_Lychee_6847

Would those family and friends like you to come wash his AP behind and give them some money too?
NTA
He could have left the kid with anyone but you, ir here’s an idea… you have about 8 months to prep, get a sitter.

OptimistPrime527

NTA. Fuck Dan. Way to be an asshole…. Again. You don’t owe him anything. Better to nip this in the bud now before he starts listing you as an emergency contact for his kids. Like the mental gymnastics this guy is playing to think this would be a good plan of action is WILD.

Life_Step8838

NTA, that kid is not your responsibility and ex can not just come over unannounced and expect you to drop everything and take care of him. delusional

ImpactBeneficial1989

NTA. Those poor children with parents like them. Also how dense is Kate. The way you get them is the way you lose them.

nolamom0811

NTA. There is the novel concept called “paid babysitters” They had months to find one. Insanity.

Ok_Motor_4298

Info : why do you care about anything he says ? Dude cheated on you, why isn’t he blocked ? Why do you entertain his games ?

Personal_Regular_569

Mute his number honey. Advise him that further contact will be considered harassment and that you will report him to the authorities if he chooses to continue. You did *everything* right. Your ex is unhinged and absolutely none of this is your business.

NTA

getstrongandlean

NTA
Seriously you were the only person you could think of to take care of his son when his wife was in labor? To the people who are supporting him maybe they can go and help him out. Him dropping of the child at your doorstep is same as random stranger dropping off their kid. Calling the cops nipped this in the bud. If you didn’t do it he would have tried to push your boundaries again when he needed help with his

Emotional_Wedge

Nope you have no reason to look after his kid. As a matter fact, you should make a report to CPS that him and his wife Kate are not responsible parents who planned things appropriately and having tendency to dump their kids off randomly. NTA

Conclusion

He thought he could escape the consequences of his actions, but karma had other plans. The cheating ex faced a harsh reality, missing a crucial moment and dealing with the fallout. The woman scorned found her vindication, proving that sometimes, calling the authorities is the only way to get justice.