My m31, brother m36 is a single (widowed) dad of 2 kids (my nephews) both under the age of 10. He used to have babysitters, but ever since he met his new girlfriend, he stopped hiring any help because his girlfriend claimed that she wanted the kids to warm up to and get used to her as the only woman in their life (?wtf?).
So he started asking me to watch the boys whenever he had something to do. I’d help if I’m able, but I work a demanding job and need to cover full time. He, for whatever reason, refuses to acknowledge that.
Days ago, he was going for lunch with his girlfriend to meet her friends and wanted me to have the boys. I told him I had to work, but he begged me to take the day off. I refused and went to work. At 11 a.m., a coworker of mine entered the office, and behind him were my nephews.
I was flabbergasted. He told me my brother dropped them off so they could stay with me. I was in a state of disbelief but also furious. I felt stuck and terrified my boss would see this and I get in trouble. I couldn’t even take time off because of how busy I was.
Out of frustration, I called the police and explained what happened. They got ahold of my brother, and he was forced to come take them off me as well as get into trouble with the authorities, who spent hours talking to him. My boss eventually found out, and I had to leave work early and go home.
In the evening, my brother called and started screaming at me, calling me names of all sorts and saying that I not only ruined his meeting with his girlfriend and her friends but caused him to get in trouble with the police. He called me a vile SOB and said that I could’ve had the kids with me for a couple of hours or even took them home and took the rest of the day off.
We haven’t been speaking, but his girlfriend is constantly shaming me for what I’d done, saying she treats the kids better than I do and that I should be ashamed for this.
Conclusion
The fallout from this brotherly betrayal was intense, leaving one uncle facing the consequences and a fractured family relationship. Discover the ultimate price paid when one sibling’s selfish actions blew up in everyone’s face.
Here’s how people reacted:
Your brother’s kids should be first in his life, not the new girlfriend. You need to talk to him about why his new girlfriend thinks his own kids shouldn’t be around. Also, talk to him about where he thinks the relationship is heading because the longer he stays, the more controlling she’s going to be.
NTA obviously.
Your brother and his girlfriend need a reality check. I wonder what his late wife (?) would have to say about his behavior.
And let me see if I understand this correctly, said gf who was ok with him dumping his kids without a word on someone who couldn’t and said they wouldn’t babysit thinks she treats the kids better than you do?!
No paid babysitters isn’t bc she likes them either, it’s so he has more money to spend on her.
They’re both entitled and delusional.
NTA
>He called me a vile SOB
Has he looked in a mirror lately?
Your brother and his entitlement are astounding. He has no respect for you or your job. He is only concerned about making his gf happy. The kids are likely suffering because of his misguided priorities. Regardless, you are not an “on call” babysitter.
He’s so willing to abandon his kids for a new gf that I don’t have a good feeling for the kids future.
The gf is another deal entirely. She wants to be the only woman in their life? Tf? That’s insane. It takes a fucking village (a willing village though. Not one that is being forced. As if we’re in Russia in the 1600s or some shit). As someone else mentioned, she only wants this so that any money that was once delegated to child care can now be spent on her. She’s a piece of fucking work.
Stand your ground and know that you are not wrong in this. That could have cost you your job and livelihood. Though that’s probably the end goal for your brother and the gf. That way it’ll be easier for you to watch the kids for them to socialize. 🙄
WHAT IN THE MIDLIFE CRISIS IS HE THINKING??!!! HE WAS ALSO ONLY BOTHERED ABOUT HIS GF?!!!
He put you in a spot that could’ve negatively effected your livelihood. While I sympathize with his loss, he cannot drop his children on you when you don’t agree so watch them.
I feel bad for your nephews but 100% because of them, not you.
Block the girlfriend and don’t agree to babysit when your brother comes crawling back when he realises he relies on your help.