I (28M) and my wife (27F) are expecting. She’s 7 months pregnant. Since she’s been pregnant she has been getting onto me for small things, like if I don’t make dinner for her or if I cook her the wrong thing. Before she was pregnant she was never like this, she was always very sweet.
Yesterday my wife came back from her parent’s house, and I made homemade pizza for us. She told me she didn’t want pizza and to cook her something else. I told her if it’s quick and easy I’ll make it. She asked for homemade chicken dumplings. I told her I’m not making that because that will take ages.
She told me she’s pregnant and is craving dumplings. I told her, “I know you’re pregnant, but I’m not making dumplings for you.” She started having a rage that I wouldn’t cook her something. It was 6 PM at night; I’m not whipping out all these ingredients.
I told her to make it herself or to not have anything.
When I had my pizza, she was sitting on the couch sobbing, saying that I don’t love her or the baby. I told her I’ll make dumplings tomorrow night for her, but not tonight. She told me to fuck off somewhere else. I asked my friend if I could stay the night with him, and he said yes.
I packed clothes and slammed the door behind me. When I was halfway to my friend’s, my wife texted me begging for me to come back, so I told her to fuck off like she did to me.
So, AITA?
Conclusion
In the end, the husband found himself at a friend’s house, the slammed door echoing the harsh words exchanged. But the story doesn’t end there; a late-night text revealed his wife’s desperation for his return, a plea met with a defiant rejection. The fate of their relationship hangs in the balance, a testament to the volatile emotions that pregnancy can unleash, leaving everyone to wonder if love can overcome the storm.
Here’s how people reacted:
~~It’s ridiculous to me how many people are saying ESH just because you told her to fk off after she’d told you the same.~~ EDIT: to update this part, as it’s no longer relevant compared to when I first made my comment.
I’ve had 3 kids of my own. I’ve been around significant portions of the MANY pregnancies of my siblings and yes, hormones are awful, but they DO NOT give a woman a free pass to be abusive and then absolute immunity to repercussions.
Maybe you could have worded your response better and told her that, no, you weren’t coming home because you needed time to cool off but just because she’s pregnant doesn’t mean that you don’t get to feel upset or hurt by her actions.
Edit: I mean aware of themselves on how they treat others. It’s ok to cry and be sad, not ok to treat the ones you love like poo because they won’t be your slave.
Was this normal behavior from her pre-pregnancy? If not, why don’t you try to have a conversation with her when you’re both calm about her mood swings and how it’s impacting you. Maybe she needs to speak to a professional if she’s having a hard time managing her emotions and it’s impacting her relationships.
I would remind you wife that while she is pregnant it doesn’t mean that she can treat you like a slave. If she is willing to pick something that’s easier to make, you’ll be happy to do that for her.
She may have raging hormones but she needs to remember who she was before she was pregnant and acting like a raging person isn’t appealing.
Taking out her anger on you shouldn’t be a go to. How is she going to be with her child when they don’t do what she wants them to do? Is she gonna tell them yo f off too?
You however need to understand that when you’re hungry that you become hangery. Learn to keep your cool but stand your ground and tell your partner, because that’s what she is, that her attitude isn’t on. If she wants food she can have what you’re willing to make. Being pregnant doesn’t excuse the treatment you give others but you can recognise your behaviour afterwards and do something about it.
Asking in advance what she wants to eat for needing to make it might also help. So before she left her parents so when she gets home, you’ve made it. Planning helps to avoid arguments.
You say her mood and personality has drastically changed when pregnant has she talked to her doctor about this? There may be an issue
Is she on bed rest and relying on you completely?
Honestly I’m leaning toward N-T-A because unless there is a further then. Normal problem most pregnant women would be this intense ….. BUT at the same time packing a bag and leaving your pregnant wife seems like a HUGE step …. Maybe you guys need therapy
By the way NTA.
I think that there is always a line for people and when you cross it, you cross it. Being pregnant doesn’t change that line or give you the right to treat people badly.
I’m not judging you for telling her to F off, because I’d have responded the same way. That kind of language is a quick way to put yourself on my bad side and get a dose of your own medicine.
Her mental state doesn’t forgive her emotional manipulation and toxic behavior – but right now she might need help too. I don’t think that means you should let her abuse you, but you guys are having a baby together so getting her help might be the best path forward.
The other option is she was always this entitled and hiding it – but you know her better than us, which do you think is more likely?
It doesn’t matter what anyone says on here, hormones are no excuse for her behavior.
You made dinner. It was a nice dinner! She tossed a shit fit because you wouldn’t spend more time making something else for her. (She could have made it if she wanted it that bad) Then she cries and sobs that you don’t love her or the baby because of it. She can take that emotional manipulation and kick rocks.
She told you to fuck off, so you fucked off. She doesn’t get to call you sobbing and begging for you to come back.
She needs to get control of herself and stop taking everything out on you. You don’t have to put up with her attitude and mistreatment just because she’s pregnant. She’s not special and she doesn’t get a pass