NTA.

12 year old girls are incredibly vulnerable to body image issues. You’re absolutely right to shut down such comments immediately.

Huge NTA. Body shaming a 12 year old is a low move.

NTA well done for standing up for your sister it’s talk like that, that no young girl should ever be judged on. I just hope she’s now your ex and that you never apologise!

NTA. Your gf is a real piece of work for talking about a 12 y/o’s thighs. She needs to check herself.

NTA- Your gf was out of line and being a female, she should know how much those snide comments, no matter how well intentioned affect you FOREVER. You’re sister’s self confidence is more important than your girlfriend’s ego

NTA

At 12, girls bodies are all over the place. Making comments like that is just plain stupid. Your girlfriend needs to apologise, and so do all the half-wits that sent you text messages.

Now you know who your friends are, huh?

NTA!! Who says that about a 12 year old girl? Your girlfriend sounds like an awful and mean spirited person. If her friends are all defending her and coming down on you, then she has shitty friends too. Your poor sister. I feel terrible for her. Find a girlfriend who will treat your sister as her own and love her just as you do.

Your girlfriend needs to go.

ESH your girlfriend was wrong and rude and you were right to address it immediately and showing your sister support. but jesus christ talk about overreaction. Your girlfriend made an unwelcome comment about your sister, possibly thinking it would be between you two. She didn’t came to her face to bully her. You’re an adult, you should act like one.
Also wtf with those “wow HuuUuge red flag, burn bridges, break up, contact your lawyer” type comments. Evrything isn’t black or white guys.

Edit :spelling

Feed her less?? Who talks like that about anyone? Who talks like that about a 12 year old? Who says that to their boyfriend about his kid sister? Your girlfriend is out of all sorts of lines! Do not apologise.

Could she be telling people a convenient version of the story that makes her sound better? I don’t see how anyone would see you as being the one in the wrong.

NTA, your girlfriend is definitely TA

Edited for typos and clarity

ESH. I mean, I think the immediate reaction was pretty rough, but I get that you were just that angry. However telling your significant other to shut the fuck up is super disrespectful, you are a 30 year old- learn to convey how you are feeling without resorting to insulting and swearing at someone. Think about how you would feel if a man treated your sister this way in a future relationship. Remember the way she sees you treat women and how you are acting in relationships is what she is growing up and seeing as acceptable for her future relationships.

However, I do agree that your girlfriend is a bigger asshole. Her approach was also completely wrong. If she had genuine concerns with the health of your sister she should be able to convey that to you- BUT- that’s not what she did. She was just being a HUGE asshole and criticizing a 12 year old’s body. That is super fucked up. It’s things like this that cause kids to have low self esteem and grow up feeling inadequate their whole lives. I would worry about her saying something similar straight to your sister’s face. Comments like this can be SO HARMFUL to young girls. What she did was disrespectful to your sister and is creating a toxic relationship between the two. I truly don’t blame you for being mad, your sister is lucky to have a brother that cares so much about her.

Also, if you are concerned from a genuine health aspect for your sister, work with her to develop healthy habits now. I grew up as an overweight kid and then an obese adult. It took a lot of work to reprogram my habits and relationships with food that I learned young. Lead by example- buy healthy foods, make healthy meals for you two, and encourage physical activity. Support her and enable her to be a healthy adult, that’s part of the responsibility of being a parent too. And the focus should be with health being the priority, not what she looks like.

NTA and I wouldn’t look for an apology I’d say goodbye if you plan on having kids. Is this the woman you want to parent with?

You need to make a message about how your gf was insulting a young girl’s body, point out how many young girls have their lives impacted by body issues caused by their cruel expectations of others and how you would never tolerate someone who body shamed a child and send that to everyone who has criticised you. Let’s see how many of them want to continue the fight once you phrase it in those terms. NTA and you’re a good brother (but your girlfriend stinks).

NTA. This is a huge red flag, who the hell body shames a 12 year old, let alone the 12 year old sister of their SO?? Time to break up.

Edit: spelling

Dude im gonna be honest and contradict literally everyone else in this sub, but I think it COMPLETELY depends on how she said it and her intentions. Realistically is it appropriate to comment on someones weight? no. Realistically have we ALL done it at some point? yes. If she was telling it to you in private with the intention of suggesting you encourage your sister to start leading a healthier lifestyle and AVOID future weight comments intended to hurt her, I would say NAH. It was a dumb comment, tell her not to do it again, and if she respects and understands what you’re saying I dont see why this cant be resolved.

ESH (except your sister of course)

Your girlfriend obviously should not be making shitty comments like that about anyone, let alone a 12 year old. You shouldn’t have told your girlfriend to “shut the fuck up”, and instead could have expressed yourself in a more eloquent, meaningful way. Obviously people “see red” from time to time, but that doesn’t mean you’re safe from being an asshole just because you were provoked.

Sounds like you and your girlfriend need to communicate in a more healthy fashion, and your girlfriend needs to not be such a dick.

NTA- you’re getting texts from people because the version of the story that your (hopefully ex) GF is selling is a lot different than this one..

NTA- you were so right to say that. She’s twelve ffs and vulnerable af to body image issues I’d be insulted at 17 if my bros girlfriend said anything like that about me and I’m old enough to stick up for myself. I’m glad you’re sticking up for her.

Uhhhh yeah no, NTA! Maybe you could have used very slightly gentler words than “stfu” but honestly, I’m so glad your sister has someone like you in her corner! That shit is really inappropriate and inexcusable behaviour and I think it shows a lot of the-wrong-type-of-character in your GF.

NTA

She’s 12, da hell is wrong with that women. Does she not know something called tact?

Huge NTA. It’s so heartbreaking when kids are ashamed and insecure about their bodies. I really hope your sister didn’t hear what she said, because that can be pretty damaging. You’re a good brother for shutting that down right away.
I was an incredibly skinny kid, but always had ‘thunder thighs’. Hearing people’s comments got to me, to the point I was eating around only 200 calories a day, if that. I couldn’t move on my own, it hurt so bad.
I’m so glad your sister has someone like you.