My little sister is autistic and has no sense of self. She’s thirteen, but she’s the kind of person that would get into a stranger’s car if they offered to give her candy. She’s technically high functioning but she just has no idea how the world works.
Anyway, our dad died this year and he was my sister’s primary caretaker. Mum is kind of going insane, but I still dont think she should be my responsibility.
I go out a lot, just walking, to clear my head. A few times mum has forced me to take her with me. She’s hard to deal with and I don’t want to take her. I like to walk with my music on, but I can’t do that because I have to make sure she doesn’t wander out into the middle of the road or something.
I’m getting pretty angry with it.
Two days ago she forced me to take my sister again, I said no and ran. I guess my mum thought I’d come to my senses and sent my sister to follow me. About two hours later I got a call from my mum crying telling me I was evil for trying to abandon my sister.
She’d wandered into private property and had gotten arrested (I mean, I don’t think it really counts, but hey ho).
I told her she’s not my kid. Not my responsibility, I don’t want to look after her. She thinks I should own up and help because she’s got a lot on her plate. I don’t think I should. AITA?
Small edit: I’d be fine with one walk – but I get her up every day, I make all of her meals, I make sure she’s hygienic, I take her to school and bring her home, and on top of that I do about half the daily chores. I think I do enough, I just need a little break.
Conclusion
The fallout from this family drama is intense, leaving everyone questioning their roles and responsibilities. Was there a right answer, or did everyone lose in the end?
Here’s how people reacted:
Just know that people around you most likely won’t feel comfortable with that attitude and decision to not take care of your sis.
You’re not the one who abandoned your sister that day, she did it. The fact that she’s deflecting responsibility on you is worrying. She sent her after someone who clearly refused to babysit her without making sure she was being taken care of.
As sad as this all is, you’re not her parent and you didn’t ask to be her sister (as mean as that sounds).
You have the right to live your life and it’s your mother’s job to raise and care for her children before anyone else.
However, I still strongly encourage you to spend more time with your sister.
How old are you?
I N F O: how much is she asking you to do for your sister other than take her with you sometimes when you for a walk?
You do not want to be an adult with emotional baggage and a load of regrets.
Do you have grand parents you could talk with and ask for help?
Hope it works out for you and your family
Not your kid, not your responsibility. The mom needs to watch her own kid.
I recommend calling CPS.
Parentification is a form of child abuse.
If your mother can’t take care of her, she should pay someone to do so.
NTA. It sounds as if your mother has turned over almost all of your sister’s care to you. You don’t say how old you are, but I’d suggest you move out as soon as you are old enough.