I (42f) divorced my ex-husband “Chad” (42m) for cheating with his current wife “Rebecca” (30f) a few years back.
I’ll spare the details but basically something Chad did set off alarm bells so I did some snooping and discovered a paper trail that led me to Rebecca. I was furious and hurt but instead of confronting him about it then, I waited and collected evidence.
I found Rebecca on social media and joined one of the online clubs she was in. We had the same interests so it wouldn’t be that be of a red flag if either Chad or Rebecca found out and I just played it cool.
I waited until after our youngest was in school so I could get a part-time job and got Chad to pay for my certification so I could get a better job. During this time he would go on trips, book hotels, buy gifts, etc. with a “secret” account that I was able to access because I know Chad well enough to guess his passwords and that he only sets his alerts when someone tries to use it.
After I had moved certain things out of the house without his knowledge and convinced him to take his name off of my car, I handed him the divorce papers of the hotel lobby he was in waiting for Rebecca. I had tons of pictures of them together but only showed three of them when he tried to deny and two more to his family when he tried to send them after me.
Chad was up for a big promotion so I told him that we could either get this divorce over with or I could kick up a fuss which would make his employers reconsider his position. After I made it clear that I didn’t want any alimony and that he could keep his retirement we went our separate ways.
Shortly after that Rebecca got pregnant and they got married and she aggravates to no end, but since my kids never complained I was willing to just suck it up.
Then recently, Rebecca decided to get a little arrogant and publicly criticized my parenting because my child didn’t do so well at the end of the school year and how she’d raise her child to be “smart”. In the heat of the moment (along with some built up anger) I lied and said it wasn’t very smart of her to tip off the wife that she was the AP.
Chad wasn’t there, but his mom and sister were and he called me that night to ask about it. He always wondered how I found out and instead of telling the truth I said that Rebecca was the one who tipped me off with the photos and told me when/where they’d be.
And for some strange reason Chad asked me to keep our kids for the whole summer which I was willing to do in exchange for getting them on Christmas. I heard a few weeks later that Chad and Rebecca didn’t have a very good summer. Rebecca has been messaging constantly about this but if it doesn’t have anything to do with my kids I, SILENT MODE.
I was talking to my brother about this and he thinks that while it’s understandable WHY I lied that it was still wrong, but since I don’t care about Rebecca or Chad I have to ask AITA?
Conclusion
The tables were turned, and a web of lies unraveled with a single, calculated revelation. She walked away with her dignity, leaving her ex to deal with the mess he created, a perfect example of karma’s sweet, sweet revenge.
Here’s how people reacted:
Since Rebecca loves it when people lie, she has nothing to complain about now. In fact, you’re to be applauded for giving her life a much-needed, missing zing around lies in a relationship. NTA.
Don’t let him use this as a window in. Keep him at arms length.
Anyway, not the AH. She got what she deserved, smug b**ch
Slay queen 👑 you ate that ✨️
>We had the same interests
Of the mistresses I know of, my ex picked women who read the same books, watched the same movies, listened to the same music, worked in similar fields, went to the same events, had the same hobbies, etc. Not things he did, by the way. I always wondered why he just kept picking different versions of a person/type he didn’t like enough to be faithful to?
You can always remind her that the known cheater has worried this long about how he got caught for a reason. One never wants to repeat the same mistakes.
You don’t owe them the truth. Honesty is the best practice but sometimes you gotta color outside the lines.
If your Ex’s trust in your words outweighs the trust he has in Rebecca, that’s a reflection of their relationship.
Was it a petty thing to do? Yup.
Do two wrongs make a right? Nope.
But three left turns do.
She bit off more than she could chew, and he’s still holding onto his fragile ego by still caring how you found them out.
OP, I applaud your game play in setting up your dominoes for a long game before knocking them down. You deserve to dish out a little karma of your own in this situation.
I am assuming that the child Rebecca was insulting is also her husbands child and joint parent to you so it’s a bit hypocritical to assume their joint child will be “smarter” when they have all played stupid games now they get to win their “prizes” so they can wallow in that.
I was unaware we were supposed to have sympathy for the affair partner that ruined a marriage on purpose because she didn’t want to find a partner that wasn’t already in a relationship. Yeah, that doesn’t show that she has the actual ability to be trustworthy.
And then she attacks her son, guess the AP never really understood that she might be part of the reason that OP son is having so many problems focusing at school. And that if AP was so smart, why did she not have enough intelligence to find a man of her own instead of destroying a family.
And if she were raising such smart children, wouldn’t she be smart enough to con her new husband into not believing his ex wife. Or maybe he realized that being with someone who is really good at lying and destroying things may not have been the best choice.
Good for you, let her have a taste of her own medicine.
Chad and Rebecca both told plenty of lies during their affair; if Chad and Rebecca’s ”relationship” weren’t based on a foundation of lies, he would not have believed you that easily and quickly. Your brother is possibly thinking from Chad’s perspective (and if you want to keep this a secret, please don’t discuss this any further with your brother). NTA. Very proud of your level of pettiness
And no words…just wowwww
This is me bowing before the ultimate long and short game you have…I mean damn.
Well played Queen.
Well played.
Still, it was a bit of personal revenge and a stealth bit of ‘fuck you’ to them both for destroying said marriage.
I would be tempted to do this as well.
Cheaters deserve every bit of misery that comes to them. After all, what are they gonna say? “Yeah I was cheating on my wife and mother of my child but I don’t deserve to have my marriage upset?”
Pot kettle black.