This post has been locked due to an excess of Rule 1 violations.

NTA. Grabbing popcorn and waiting to see how many people actually adhere to said dress code. Please let us know.

NTA. Also you should mention to her that a black tie wedding traditionally happens after 5:30 PM. She should adjust her attire to garden party, which would be entirely appropriate.

Ok, don’t tell her that (although it’s true). Just don’t go. And have your husband deal with his sister. It’s HIS job to deal with his family and HIS job to look after his very pregnant wife.

NTA who has a black tie long sleeve only dress code in the summer? What about older relatives or kids? SIL is the major butthole. It’s a major health risk for their guests

Wait….Black tie for an outdoor, daytime wedding? What?????

You’re NTA regardless but black tie before dusk is wrong, and it’s wildly inappropriate to demand full length gowns outdoors where hems will drag on dirt, grass and whatever else is on the ground.

NTA. I got heatstroke at an outdoor wedding while pregnant last year. It was miserable and scary. Take care of yourself and your baby.

NTA. You are not obligated to give yourself heat stroke in order to appease your unbelievably rigid SIL. Heat sickness is no joke and trying to force a pregnant woman to subject herself to that in an attempt to “keep the peace” is absolutely ridiculous. Tell your family and especially your SIL to go kick rocks.

Her photos are going to look ridiculous. Everyone will be sweaty with melting make-up. I can’t imagine who told her this was a good idea. NTA.

Probably a dumb question but what is the purpose of requiring guests wear black tie during the day for an outside event? Is it for aesthetics in pictures? Because I can guarantee most of the guests will look like sweaty beasts in a short time. Make up will be melting off, hair will be dripping, armpit stains will be huge. Nobody’s gonna look great for pics.

NTA, OP. Not even a little bit.

NTA. What you describe is medically unsafe. Stay home with air conditioning. In my experience, black tie is evening, not middle of the day, outside in the hot sun.

“She freaked out at me and told me I was being incredibly selfish and that “for once it isn’t about me and *my fucking baby*” “

When she uttered *those* words, you received a reprieve from the wedding regardless of what anyone else is spewing. I think some people need to learn the actual definition of the word. She is focusing on her ‘vision’, you, on the other hand are focusing on the health of your unborn child.

Selfish: concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others
: arising from concern with one’s own welfare or advantage in disregard of others.

Unless this woman also happens to be an obstetrician, and can offer sound medical evidence your baby will suffer no harm, and is willing to have a neonatologist on standby, you are fully within your rights to take a pass on what will undoubtedly be a very unpleasant day for everyone.

Your health and the health of your baby are of the utmost importance and certainly more important than any ‘aesthetics’ the bride is imposing on guests.

There are going to be a lot of uncomfortable and unhappy guests at her wedding. I truly hope no medical emergencies arise, as that too would ruin the ‘aesthetics’!

NTA, mamma. I truly hope your husband is siding with you.

Wishing you a safe and easy delivery!

NTA

It’s medically unsafe for you and your baby

And it’s tacky for a mid day affair.

NTA

Is the bride really going to want to compete with a fainting pregnant lady? Cuz that’s what gonna happen.

NTA – I am also in the southern US and I would have heat stroke in a long gown and long sleeves in approx 5 min. I think it’s insane that the bride is even enforcing this dress code in this weather. Idk exactly where you’re located (obvs) but in my neck of the woods it’s regularly 80-90F with oppressive humidity. No, I am not coming to any event where I have to cover my entire body.

Swamp ass and humidititties for all of the lucky guests!!

NTA

Bride gets to decide what her bridesmaids wear, not the guests. “Black tie” is a dress code. The rest is her not understanding how weddings work.

You’ve gone above and beyond trying to accommodate her delusions. You’ve stepped aside very politely since a compromise can’t be made.

I can’t imagine anyone handling this with more class than you have. Enjoy not being on your feet for hours in 100+ degrees. Congratulations on your baby!

Is she fucking INSANE??

YOU are NTA. SHE is going to have a LOT of fainting guests.

Please explain. I am 75 and guess I am just too old to understand what is going n with todays brides….let’s just all celebrate and be happy you are getting married…what’s with all the conditions?

Let me just say right here, that OP cannot win this fight – 3 scenarios: 1/ she complies with dress code. Faints in middle of ceremony. Sil will say she’s dramatic and attention seeking. 2/ She goes along to the wedding in modest, but not so stifling, black ensemble. Sil has a thrombie and demands expulsion of the hussy in the short dress. 3/ OP stays home to avoid all the drama – but the scandal is that you are sulking coz you didn’t get your way. Oo – sil is sooooo jelly of you my dear – best avoid her at all costs.

NTA. I’m only 12 weeks pregnant in Texas. If it requires me to wear more than the minimum to avoid arrest, I ain’t doin’ it. I’d stay home where it’s cool and comfortable and has my snacks.