NAH – toddler is a difficult age. Their needs are constantly changing. He might not be tired at 1:30-2:00 anymore but your wife is still trying to get him down which can take much longer if he’s not tired as you well know from the nighttime struggles. Sounds like he’s starting to transition out of the daily nap phase. It’s a hard milestone on the parents because toddler will get tired without a nap but too close to bedtime so you either have to deal with a cranky toddler in the evenings until this passes or do an earlier bed time which will cause the kiddo to get up early. Please be patient with each other. Raising a kid is hard on both parents.

YTA
I know this might come as a surprise but kids drop naps as they get older. I’m not going to get into the laughably small amount of time you are actually on deck as an active parent.

>my wife has gotten incredibly lazy with putting him to bed.

INFO: how do you know this? You said you aren’t home during his nap time, so how do you know the issue is her and not him wanting a different sleep schedule?

YTA. This behaviour in response to the concerns you both have about your child is not right, it’s frankly immature. He may need a different sleep schedule, or something else that works. It’s not right for you to lash out at her and blame her for getting him down for his nap at a different time.

Your child is a toddler, and if you get exhausted after trying to put him to sleep for 2 hours, imagine her exhaustion when she is watching him the full day. Kids aren’t always easy, it’s not fair for you to react the way that you did. Come up with a better solution together.

Well you certainly sound like an AH calling your wife lazy while she cares for your son so you can work – need more info though as to the reason she won’t put him down for naps I doubt it’s laziness.

YTA. How do you know that she’s just “being lazy” with his afternoon nap? I, the mother of a 2-year-old, fight with my kid to get him down for an afternoon nap more often than not. You have your job during the day, her job during the day is being a SAHM. However, when you get home, the child you share is the responsibility of the BOTH of you. Moving your bed and locking the door is absurd. Have a conversation w her about how you guys can make this work or face the fact that your kid may want to cut naps and will be waking up earlier. Kids aren’t robots. We as parents can only control so much.

YTA. Parenting a toddler suuuuuucks. A nap too late is absolutely going to destroy bedtime. But it’s unacceptable for your response to be blaming her and noping out.

I’m not sure why you think the nap issue is because of your wife’s laziness, but that doesn’t make much sense to me. Naptime is the golden time for SAHPs to get shit done or relax a little. If the normal naptime was working, she’d be doing it. Maybe you think that if she just worked a little harder at the routine, it would work? If so, you should explain that. But having parented multiple toddlers, that doesn’t seem likely to me. It seems like a pretty classic case of toddler to me. They are getting independent and start refusing to do things because they’ve realized they can and that’s exciting and new. Their sleep cycle might be shifting a bit. The most likely situation to me is that the nap routine stopped working, your wife tried to fix it and couldn’t, maybe is trying to see if they’re dropping that nap, but they get so tired by 4pm that they fall asleep wherever. It’s frustrating as hell. But you need to be parenting as a team, not opting out. Do some research on toddler sleep changes. Work with your wife and experiment on the weekends to see if the kiddo will take an earlier nap, if closed-door quiet time works, if tiring the kid out with physical activity helps them nap.

Ok so there are a few things going on here. Firstly yall have a toddler. Toddlers aren’t known for being reasonable. Some toddlers don’t nap. It’s weird. There are some guidelines to sleep, but these are guidelines. Yall need to TALK about what is going on. Did she even know how bad it has been to put him to bed? Has she had to wake him from napping often?

Also toddlers shouldn’t be biting. Even when they’re mad. Yall need to nip that stat.

I’m not ok with how you have shown your wife this issue.

Info: did you talk to her at all before enacting your plan?

INFO: what steps did you take with your wife before restoring to locking yourself in your room? I understand if this was the absolute last straw but from the way you write it it seems like this was your first idea.

I’m not going to give a judgment, just a suggestion. Naptime may already be too late. Sleep begets sleep. If he is already fighting sleep at 2, it may be he is already too tired. Try moving it to somewhere between 1130 and 1pm.

YTA, I understand you work outside of the home, but even your wife, who spends the day caring for your child, needs sleep. An adult conversation with her might be more appropriate than moving out into your own room.

So if she puts him down to nap “on time” and he shrieks and bites, what exactly do you think she should do?

YTA

YTA

Toddlers aren’t tamagochis and cannot be programmed to sleep.

You not only are not co-parenting your child working with your wife, you’re also acting like a toddler by moving your bed to another room AND locking yourself in there?

YTA. Why don’t you have a chat with your TODDLER about why he won’t follow your completely anal sleep schedule. Do you want your wife to drug him? Because that is about the only way a TODDLER is going to follow your ridiculous schedule.

Do you not understand that there is a reason it is called “The Terrible Twos”?

You are a parent. You don’t get a break. You don’t get days off. The job is 24/7/12/365. You don’t think she needs sleep too? I’d bet you’ve never even changed a diaper! Keep treating your wife like a two-year-old and you soon won’t have one.

Moved your bed into another room and locked her out? Take your ball and go home? Grow up. You are a terrible parent.

Soooo my toddler sometimes won’t nap at 1:00 or 1:30. When that happens, we either skip the nap entirely that day. Or if he does fall asleep super late in the afternoon, I’ll only let him sleep for a half hour or so. He’s really mad when I wake him up, but that’s the only way he’ll be able to to sleep at his regular time at night. Your response was not mature, but I don’t blame you for being angry about this nap situation. A two hour nap in the late afternoon is a terrible idea and will wreak havoc on your child.

YTA. You’re not following a 11 – 14 hour schedule. You are obsessively attempting to enforce a static 13 hour schedule. Your failure to properly follow a flexible schedule is ruining your family. Try putting the kid to bed at 9:30p for a bit. Watch everything fall into place.

YTA

do you even like/love your wife at this point? Because the way you talk about her in the comments say it all

YTA – you’re wife is not lazy, and your whole know it all attitude is counterproductive. You’re isolating your wife and stay at home parents already feel so alone. You guys just need to have a patient conversation about changing the toddlers sleep schedule.

INFO Have you ever been the one that takes care of your toddler and maintaining the house alone?

YTA for how you talk about your wife and your immaturity in handling this situation.

You should work together as a team to fix his sleep schedule because locking yourself away is not the mature solution. What if there had been an emergency while you were locked away and unavailable to assist your wife?