Im concerned that she had to ask *him* if YOU could sleep in her room. Is there a reason why she needs to ask his permission? Why couldnt she ask you if you could/wanted to sleep in her room?

NTA. Your husband is a massive AH. Is he always this controlling? Your child is scared FFS. Your husband is acting like more of a child than your 5 year old.

OH, FFS, NTA!!!

Protect your child.

NTA. Really weird how jealous your husband seems to be of his five-year-old daughter.

NTA

I actually find this sad…a dad shouldn’t have to be begged to give his young child the comfort/assurance she needs. If that comfort is you, so be it. He won’t die without you in the bed for one night.

My 4 year old does this from time to time – she has periods when she gets scared for whatever reason; she sleeps with us for a night or two and then she’s fine to go to her room again. My husband isn’t the most emotional guy in the world but he could never turn a scared child away.

INFO:

I find it odd that a 5 year old would have this conversation with her father on her own and “negotiate” without you knowing anything about it. If she wanted you to sleep with her why wouldn’t she bring it up with YOU first?

NTA…she is 5 years old for heaven’s sake!! Keep strong! 💪

NTA

Your daughter wants you to sleep in her room, you sleep in her room. Your husband can deal with you not in the bed for a night.

NTA.

You and your husband need to get on the same page. Certainly helping a 5yo get to sleep in a new place is normal. And clearly your daughter knows where to go for comfort and isn’t even suggesting your husband stay with her.

Actually I got a little chuckle thinking HE is scared in the new place (and therefore you NEED to sleep in his room, not hers).

NTA. You could easily say he didn’t back you up. She’s a child who is scared.

NTA. If your husband was concerned about your daughters independence, or not developing bad habits, that’s one thing. But the fact that he said it was because you needed to sleep with him at night?? Red flag

NTA. This will stick with the kid, and she won’t ask her dad for help much in the future. Heck she didn’t even choose dad to be the one to protect her from the nightmares, cause it sounds like he would say no to her anyways.

NTA You’re husband handled it very poorly. However, I hope you come up with another solution for your daughter, because you sleeping with her isn’t sustainable if you want her to get adjusted.

NTA. But you both need to come up with a plan to handle the sleep disturbances. You need to find a solution that you both work on, not just mummy.

Mine were always allowed to come in and sleep on the floor next to the bed. They would drag a blanket and pillow, and make themselves comfy on my side of the bed. I learned to step carefully in the middle of the night! We all got more sleep, no need for it to be a power play. If they were cold or uncomfortable they either went back to their bed, or got another blanket. Allowed them to self soothe and be independent.

>he’s been annoyed at me for sleeping in her room for that one night after he told her no as he thinks I undermined him.

You’re NTA. He is for this statement.
Is he always so “Authoritative” and “My way or the highway”

Just keep parenting your daughter how you see fit.

Your husband’s solution to **his** daughter’s fear of the dark/sleeping alone/bedtime was to refuse, to shut her down and provide no solutions???

When my kids were her age and similarly scared, I sprinkled magic daddy dust around the room to protect them from everything and anything they were afraid of and told them me and their mum were on the other side of the door and would never let anything happen to them.

NTA, your husband is a total asshole.

NTA. You are right, it wasn’t his decision. Your child was scared, which is very understandable after a move. You wanted to confront her, which I believe is the correct response. Why did your husband say no when she was clearly upset?

…… tf? Why does your daughter need permission to have you at ANY point of the day? You’re her mother ffs. Non negotiable, chikd comes before spouse 100% of the time. This dynamic is toxic as fuck, daughter shouldn’t have to even speak to dad about mom getting time with her.

NTA. Why is your husband teaching your daughter that you are essentially his property and she needs his permission for you to be there for her? This is so monumentally forked on levels.