This been happening since yesterday. I’m pretty sure I’m not the asshole, but my family has me doubting myself. Anyway, my husband (31M) and I (28F) just bought a house several days ago. It’s really exciting; we’ve been living in his apartment for the past year which has been fine, but I’m really looking forward to having something that’s truly ours.
As you might guess, my family has been excited too. After we closed the deal, we went out to dinner with my Mom, Dad, and one of my brothers. Let’s call him Kyle (30M). Kyle has a story about him. Apparently when we all moved into OUR first house when I was about 4 and he was 6, Kyle was sick, and almost immediately after moving into the home, went to the bathroom and and took an absolutely nasty dump on the toilet.
Afterwards, my mother turned to my dad and said, “Well, at least someone Christened the bathroom.” That’s it. That’s the whole story. I’ve never found it particularly hilarious or anything, it’s just one of those stories that your parents like to tell every few months and you smile and nod along.
Kyle, on the other hand, absolutely loves the story. Ever since then, whenever somebody in the family moves into a new home, Kyle insists on “Christening” their bathroom. He did it when I moved into my apartment, he did it when our eldest brother moved into his home, and I’m certain he did it when he moved into his own apartment.
My parents also find it pretty funny that he continues to do this. At dinner, Kyle made a comment about looking forward to Christening the bathroom at myself and my husband’s home. My husband obviously had no idea what this meant, and my parents and Kyle explained it to him.
After hearing the story, he muttered something and then quickly moved the conversation along. Later that night, he told me in no uncertain terms that he thought it was a bizarre tradition and he did not want to take part in it. Even though I personally don’t care either way (I find it stupid but harmless), it’s a perfectly reasonable opinion to have, so I agreed with him.
I was talking to my mom last night, and when we discussed the dinner we’d had, she brought up telling my husband about the tradition. I told her that we would not be letting Kyle “Christen” our bathroom, and she tried to persuade me otherwise. I said no.
I thought that was that, but since yesterday, she, my dad, and Kyle have all been texting me that I should follow the family tradition. I texted my eldest brother though, and he said I should stand my ground. And obviously my husband agrees with that.
I don’t really plan on changing my mind about this, but Reddit, AITA?
Conclusion
The family tradition was revealed, and the couple’s stand might just change everything. Will this be the end of the quirky ritual, or just the beginning of a new family feud?
Here’s how people reacted:
If he wants to be the first to “christen” your new bathroom, he can also be the first to clean it.
And as a way to discourage this, I wouldn’t have any toilet paper in the bathroom the first time your brother is over. Then maybe it won’t be so much fun for him.
I don’t mind toilet humor but this tradition is disgusting. NTA.
Who wants their BIL intentionally stinking up the bathroom? Stick by your husband’s entirely reasonable request.
I can imagine this “family tradition”. Decades form now, after Kyle has taken his final dump, the eldest son takes up the mantle of being the Crap Christener.
When his daughter gets into her dormroom, he makes the pilgrimage, poop knife in hand, wearing the ceremonial garb–Affliction t-shirt and a Walmart basketball shorts, with *extra-long* drawstrings (well secured, because, poop-water), with Reddit loaded up on his holographic AI implants. He has taken the sacred rite seriously: a big meal of Taco Bell (*”they won the Franchise Wars!”*), with Fire sauce, *as is tradition*, with a bowl of Raisin Bran for breakfast–he is prepared to do his doody.
He enters the holy ~~shitter~~ site, and seats himself on the throne, giving the customary incantation:
*Here I sit, broken hearted
Had to go, yet, merely farted*
As he christens the commode, a dank miasma permeates the dorm hall. Emergency services responds to complaints of a gas leak, or possible bioterror event, but Kyles granddaughter waives them away–“it’s merely our family tradition”.
The amount of people get decide they’re entitled to override other people’s boundaries because of what they want or “tradition” is one of the core reasons we have so many issues with boundaries.
It’s a weird joke and whatever. He will, probably, someday use the bathroom there and he can call it the “christening” then if he wants.
But having some special deal where he comes over to take the first dump? That’s weird.
Hold your ground. Especially if your husband is opposed to this ‘tradition’
What are you supposed to do, schedule your moving in around his need to use the restroom?
Move in, get settled, have a housewarming party when you are ready. He can come over then. No one else should have to wait to use the restroom because he hasn’t had the chance to go first.
INFO: I am really confused as to how your brother is always at people’s new homes immediately enough to be the first one to shit in their toilet. Is he the only one with a truck so he gets invited to participate in everyone’s move in day or what? What if he happens to be busy when someone moves in? Do they make sure to use a public restroom until your brother has a chance to come desecrate the toilet?
I mean, give it 24 to 48 hours before he’s allowed in the house and he won’t have been the first person to poop in the toilets.
You could always find a spare toilet somewhere, put it in the front lawn and tell him you saved that one for him.
That’s a very… weird tradition, to say the least.
It’s your house so no one besides you and your husband get to say what traditions you should follow
Secondly, (Alexis Rose voice) : Euwgh
Usually I’m all for ‘ you do you’. But this isn’t about just this “tradition”. It’s about him and your parents not respecting your ( very reasonable in my opinion) wishes and boundaries regarding YOUR home.