Wow OP! She’s projected her insecurity so hard it contaminated her friends view of you and /or the friend decided to fake the ‘loyalty test’ for her?

Sounds like she needs a NC time out, for the health of your relationship and your wife needs a therapist to vent to instead of sh!t stirring friends.

Good luck my dude, thanks for the update!

I could say that your wife has a lot of problems, but you already know that. Take your time to figure out what is best for you. Good luck, OP.

NTA

​

Your wife is a mess and a major AH. Consider a divorce.

Talk about projecting! Damn… your wife could give a movie theater a run for there money! My advice OP in the words of one of my favorite movies “Run Forrest, Run!“ When I read the first post my initial thought was “Did the friend say that or is she projecting her Sister’s situation onto herself?” So not only does she accuse you of hitting on her friend 🚩but she also twisted her friends words to make that accusation 🚩. When you refused to take accountability for something you didn’t do, she tried to “punish” you by trying to make you sleep on the couch 🚩. When you slept in the spare room, she was pissed it wasn’t on the couch, implying she wanted you to be uncomfortable 🚩. Her friend reveals she goes through your phone and keeps “tabs” on you🚩🚩🚩🚩

Tbh Im was waiting for the moment where you told her to go sleep on the couch to think about what she’s done lol.

She’s a walking timebomb, everyone she knows is getting a dose of her disturbed behaviour and its not looking good for her. You need to get more than space from her. Be careful, she might be following you around and keeping tabs on you while your taking space.

OP I am so sorry it has come to this but this is good it came out now.
Best wishes with this new chapter

NTA

Also yeah you need to think seriously if you want to continue in this marriage.

>**”searching my car and laundry for any feminine products/scents** that didn’t belong to her every so often”.

She’s been secretly getting into your car and sniffing everything. LOL?

LOL

Damn, what a nightmare. Trust is clearly the issue for her here and I see why you don’t want to be in a marriage with someone who can’t/won’t trust you.

I think she should see a therapist, she won’t be able to just turn this off. For the sake of your marriage I hope she agrees to try and get help to work on her trust issues. Best of luck

You should consider if it’s still worth it t be married to her

“your husband was very nice to me and had it been any other person, I would think they’re flirting”

Why would the friend word it like this, when she knew the wife was ridiculously insecure.

If you want to continue in the marriage you have to insist she gets some therapy for herself and maybe couples therapy for both wouldn’t hurt. If this is the only major issue ya had in the marriage then there is no harm in trying to fix it.

These are some disturbing behaviors and it may be a reaction of her sister’s situation or her own insecurities. If you stay in the relationship you need to be very careful as these insecurities could lead her to cheat as a way of “doing it before it’s done to her”. It seems a lot of time people who cheat start projecting that onto the SO due to guilt.

We already knew your wife was a mess after the first post. This one is really not a surprise at all. Good luck.

Why is no one mentioning that the friend here is acting really weird. First she says that you were hitting on her and told your wife that, then is telling your wife that you WERENT hitting on her and she never said that, then distracted from her lies/gaslighting/whatever by revealing something else.

Now your wife is a butt for acting on all these insecurities without having a conversation with you, but her friend doesn’t sound great from what you’ve told us. You’re NTA but the friend seems to be trying to sabotage your wife.

I’m really sorry you are going through all this.

OP I was with a person like that and, based on my experience, you can never provide enough information or enough proof that you werent cheating.
I hope your case turns out to be different but in my case it was quite difficult since the person in question will look to any possibility to make that possibility into that reality she already decided it happened.
For example:

\-My friend said to me they saw you last weekend with a girl on the mall
\-Last weekend I was in another city do you remember? Its impossible for me to be at the mall
\-Then it was the weekend before to that
\-We were at your parents in your hometown
\-Then it was the other tuesday that we were here in this city and you had the day off and I didnt see you.
\-I dont even remember that day but probably I stayed home since I dont like to go to the mall anyways.
\-You dont remember? Why you dont remember? That means you were cheating.

This is an example of an actual conversation we had. Up to this day she still thinks something should have happen that day because I said I dont remember about that specific afternoon.

Before you jump to divorce or anything, please do couples counseling with her. And have her do individual counseling too. Talk to her and ask her if her sister has been in her ear and influencing her. What if her sister’s been projecting her issues onto you and has been telling your wife to do all these things? Don’t throw the marriage away yet.

You’re young enough to find a better woman

So your wife twisted what her friend innocently said.

She doesnt trust you so whats the point of being with her. But if you want to stay and try then it should be on the basis that she agrees to couples therapy weekly and that you change your password on your phone, social media, laptop and that she does not get your car keys and does not snoop in your items. That if she invades your privacy on the basis of lack of trust one more time this is over.

You should’ve told your wife to sleep on the couch.