My husband’s brother (my BIL) and his two kids (13/m and 8/m) were staying with us for christmas. They’ve had a rough year because his wife died in March. The kids are a handful because of it, but I’ve been trying to be gracious. Yesterday was my last straw, and I need a gut check for if I overreacted.
I got home from work yesterday and discovered the ground floor toilet is cracked and leaking water. It’s a mess and after shutting off the water, I ran upstairs to get extra towels and discover the upstairs toilet is cracked and leaking too. At this point I’m pissed.
I go to the basement and, yup, the basement toilet is even worse.
I ran into the kids on my way up with extra towels and asked wtf they did to the toilets. The oldest said “maybe it was the boiling water bandits.” I said that makes no sense and we get into an argument. BIL came along to ask what was wrong. He was taking a nap.
The kids start saying the boiling water bandits did it. As we’re arguing, it comes out the kids were trying to do a prank because of home alone. They dumped boiling water in all the toilets and tried to blame it on burglars who go around breaking toilets.
At this point I’m saying that’s ridiculous and they’re old enough to know the difference between a stupid movie and real life. BIL gets upset at this because the kids have imprinted on home alone because it’s about a mother and her kid being reunited at Christmas.
At this point, both kids start crying about missing their mom.
I told them they need to leave because I need to fix my house. BIL says “you’re throwing us out?” I explain there’s no functioning toilets in the house and if anything they threw me out of my own home because I’m going to have to stay in a hotel.
Husband is not speaking with me because the kids’ feelings are upset. He’s staying with BIL and I’m at a hotel alone while trying to find a plumber who can fix all of this. AITA
Conclusion
The aftermath of a misguided prank left a family fractured, with toilets broken and relationships strained. Accusations flew, tears were shed, and a once-joyful holiday devolved into an uncomfortable separation. Will this family ever recover from the ‘boiling water bandits’ and the costly mess they left behind?
Here’s how people reacted:
Did your husband expect you to be happy that your house has no working toilets? Where did he expect everyone to go? Spackle buckets?
BIL should be the one looking for a plumber not you and paying for it. If husband can’t see that the kids were wrong and how the house was now unlivable, then you have other problems you need to work on.
Also, nta.
One toilet is one thing, but they ruined every toilet in the house. Your BIL should have immediately apologized and offered to pay for any damages, instead of trying to justify their behavior.
For reasons that I’ll decline to mention here, Home Alone is the last movie you want to imitate unless you want a lawsuit and/ or criminal charges.
The BIL should have been actively supervising his kids – he is lucky they didn’t sustain serious burns while playing with boiling water.
The oldest child should have known better than to play with boiling water (not sure if they would have understood that boiling water can cause toilets to crack?). Not sure if they had the intention of cracking toilets, I agree that grief does not give anyone the right to be destructive but they are children who have seemingly gone through a lot this year and maybe can benefit from counselling to help process.
You were way out of line for what you said. Just as grief does not give them the right to destroy property, anger does not give you the right to be unnecessarily cruel. There would have been kinder ways to talk to them about their mother.
INFO: Did you give your BIL a chance to try to fix things? A chance for him to speak and hear out whether he would organise a plumber or pay for repairs? Did you ask him to pay and he refused or what?
Where were the kids father and uncle while they were boiling and toting around enough water to crack and destroy three toilets? Where were they when the kids were watching so much home alone that they decided to model their behavior on an ancient movie?
Grieving and bored destruction are two entirely different things. The boys and their dad need professional help and you need plumbers and an investigation of any other water damage that happened from the leaking. It doesn’t take long. Homeowners insurance might cover it, depending on the policy, but you rates could go way up.
If the BIL doesn’t pay for all the toilets to be fixed – NTA
How completely maddening 3 out 3 toilets down because BIL didn’t control his children.
Enjoy the hotel bathroom.
My plumber would charge 5X his normal rate to fix a toilet on Christmas.
Reference:
>The oldest said “maybe it was the boiling water bandits.”
The kids were AHs, the BIL was a bigger AH (for not watching his kids) but the horrid things you said about their mother never coming back makes you the biggest AH. I dont care how upset you were, these kids lost their parent and you threw that in their face because you were upset. You dont do that to kids, that was cruel. You need to walk yourself to therapy, that was not acceptable, and I dont blame your husband for being upset.
NTA, but please take some time to simmer down before you act. Reddit loves its fucking pitch fork mob tactics.
They’re kids. They’re very immature, young, goofy ass kids who probably have no real understanding of cost. Their dad had just woke up, so he was probably bewildered and confused as all hell and immediately tried to shield his kids before he could grasp what was happening.
Your husband is an idiot. But he’ll come around. Honestly, the wife’s death is probably overshadowing everything right now. Inside of a year after her passing, with 2 young boys? There’s no rationalizing how grief will manifest and your husband , as I see it, just jumped to protect his hurting brother without trying to grasp the situation.
The way I see it, absolutely nobody in this story is actually focused on the toilets. You were already stressed to begin with, husband is being protective of his brother, BIL is watching his boys first grueling experience with grief and death, and the kids just lost their *mother*.
You can be mad as all hell, of course. But please don’t allow a moment of rage to utterly destroy your relationship with your nephews. This is exactly one of those stories that will be funny as shit in 15 years, but horrifying in the moment. YOU should take a step back, while you’re in that motel, and unwind. Figure out why you’re so stressed and start reversing that process.
IMO, don’t drag those kids into the penal system over dumb shit like this.
N T Awhat are they expecting to shit in buckets for the whole Christmas weekend?? Send BIL the bill also
1) Told these children that there would be no Christmas because they ruined it
2) Told them that their mother is not coming back no matter how many things they break
Like, come on. I agree that they are children who should know better than to break every toilet on the home at their age, but you’re a full grown adult who should know how to speak to other humans, especially ones that are so clearly going through the most difficult thing in their life so far.