I work at a smaller company of about 15 people. I get along with pretty much everyone with the exception of someone we’ll call Alexis (40F). Alexis is very socially conservative and I am not. I do my best to not talk about things I know will cause an argument, but they sometimes happen anyway.
One time I used the bathroom right after the cleaning crew finished cleaning it and didn’t bother putting the toilet seat down because I was just going to squat to pee. I washed my hands and when I exited, I bumped straight into Alexis. I apologized and went on with my day.
For the next two weeks, I thought Alexis was being particularly sanctimonious, but I didn’t say anything as it wasn’t too out of character. The subject of women’s sports came up during lunch and she made a snide comment along the lines of, “People like OP ruin them for everyone else.”
I’m immediately confused. I’ve never been athletically inclined at any age, so ask, “Do you mean tall people?”
“No, ‘women’ that are still biologically men,” she says with a glare.
At the time, this came out of left field. I am a cisgender woman. While I am still a tomboy in my interests, I am very physically feminine presenting. I said, “Okay, one: There is nothing wrong with being transgender. Two: I am not transgender. Why would you even say that?”
“You can’t fool me. I saw you come out of the bathroom and the toilet seat was UP.” I stared in disbelief as she seemed convinced this was the biggest “gotcha” moment. She couldn’t even hide her smug smile.
“I squatted, Alexis.” The energy of the room was getting very awkward, so I decided to make a joke. “Are you telling me that you park your bare ass on the toilet seat in public restrooms?”
She turned bright red. Apparently she did, because she started muttering something about “not being weird” before bursting into tears and leaving the room.
My coworkers think it was rude of me to “expose” her like that, but I don’t think I did anything wrong for trying to defuse a situation she put herself in. AITA?
EDIT: I’d like to address a few things. 1. A lot of you mentioned going to HR. I wasn’t going to because I thought I would get in trouble too, but if I had been trans, this story could have ended very differently. I’m going to arrange a meeting. 2. I hear you all loud and clear about squatting vs sitting.
Unfortunately, I was diagnosed with OCD in the height of the pandemic and many of my delusions are centered around germs and contamination. I’m gonna work on that, but sitting may not be in my future. At the very least, I’m going to look into pelvic floor exercises so I don’t end up incontinent at 40.
3. A lot of you think this is fake, and considering that a majority of shit on Reddit never happened, I don’t blame you. I was a professional fiction writer for awhile and I try to make what I write at least a little bit interesting to read, so my style may be throwing you off.
If I did make this up, I probably would have had at least one coworker in solidarity with me and, I don’t know, maybe I did volleyball in high school? I’m a very lame protagonist.
Conclusion
The situation escalated when an innocent bathroom habit was twisted into a bizarre accusation, leading to an unexpected and tearful exit. Was it a simple misunderstanding or a targeted attack that ended in tears?
Here’s how people reacted:
Piss and piss water splashing up from the toilet because you are hovering higher than you would sit down…
This really doesn’t make any sense
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Reminds me of a time a ‘socially conservative coworker’ was trying to ‘remind’ me to practice safe sex in my relationship with someone to prevent conception and I was like “no we typically don’t do vaginal anyway” and I’ve never seen a woman that old blush that hard.
They went somewhere that wasn’t their business at all and all you did was point that out to them immediately and obviously.
She’s also a complete transphobe, so, she deserved it.
What’d she expect you to do, flash your genitals at her? People are awful.
Also, squatting isn’t necessarily the best for your health, so be careful!
Your work colleague is odd.
You for squatting on the toilet. I worked in cleaning and in women’s bathrooms it’s squatters that causes 96% of all sprays, spills and drippels in toilets.
There’s a reason most restrooms have sanitary sprays and towels in the stalls so you can disinfect the seat before you sit.
You’re NTA (if this is real) but why would sitting on a toilet seat be such a horrible thing that you think it’s worthy of a snappy comeback?
Toilet seat covers exist. Hovering over the seat is how you get pee on it. That’s more disgusting than just sitting down like an adult lol.
Wipe the seat with paper, and put clean paper on top of it before you sit if you are worried about touching any pee. Plain and simple. You’re not going to contract any illnesses over your legs touching the seat of a public toilet. You are however going to mess your pelvic floor by *hovering over toilets outside your home so often.
Edit: changed *squatting for hovering, since other types of squatting toilets are actually good. But hovering over western style toilets isn’t.
She assumed something, talked gossip about it, and then got embarrassed, possibly twice over. If anything, Alexis is the A-hole in this situation.