NTA. So many people naming their kids like a 9 year old naming a goldfish or a valley girl naming a pocket dog. Unfortunately, it indicates that the parent considering these names does not see the child as a person, but a thing, an amusing accessory to show all her fans how cool she is.

This is the first of many battles for the identity and autonomy of your child.

The best piece of advice on baby naming that I remember from one of the parenting books was, “If you can’t imagine yourself shouting this name across a crowded playground, do not give it to your child.” Best of luck. NTA

Damn those names are Tragedeigh. Nta, I hope you find a nice compromise that the child would also possibly like

NTA in general but this is tricky territory, and when you treat her badly you slip straight into AH territory. You are definitely looking out for your child here, and your wife isn’t thinking about the bullying these “unique” names will bring your child.

When my husband and I were playing the “name game”, part of the rules was to also think of what kind of taunts those names could turn into. Buck is an easy one to dismiss because it’s one letter off from “fuck”. “Fucky Bucky”, doesn’t that sound like a great nickname? Lol.

I think you’ll find the perfect name but give her suggestions serious consideration like you expect her to give yours, then you can both play the name game and see how many awful nicknames might come out of them.

At least you’ll be prepared and perhaps your wife will think a little bit more about what your child might have to endure depending on the name you both choose.

NTA and you should check out r/tragedeigh

Don’t let your child become a tragedeigh!

My suggestion as someone who banned my husband from coming up with names.. (He thinks he’s funny and came up with things like Velociraptor and Cletus the Fetus – thanks Simpson’s!!)

1. Write a list together, make it as long as you can.
2. Each cross out names you can’t abide – more names on the list helps if you both veto a lot.
3. Choose from the leftovers.

Fern and Quincy aren’t particularly unusual or unique. But the others…Brixtyn?

NTA for not liking the names but YTA for how you handled the conversation with your wife.

NAH. Fern for a girl is fine, so is Quincy or Buck for a boy. Plenty of precedents for all three. The rest are ludicrous but you only need one.

Buchanan is Scottish but is never used as a forename in Scotland. Most people would think of the shopping street and railway station in Glasgow.

ESH but only because you suggested she change Buck to Buchanan 🤢

NTA. I definitely feel like you should discuss names you like and consider a more unique middle name, but ultimately this IS a person not a pet. Lots of these names are more appropriate for pets. Your wife needs to be a bit more grounded in her selections. Fern isn’t bad. Quincy isn’t terrible either. But please don’t name your kid Zoomer.

NTA those names are stupid and you would be setting your child up for problems.

Perhaps a traditional name that can be shortened into a nickname.

The names are all unusual, but a lot of them are actually pretty tame compared to current baby name trends.

Out of her list, these ones sound fine to me:

* Fern (I know several people named this; plant and old lady names are both really trendy right now), Rhodes, and Kinley (I dislike this one, but it’s very normal at the moment)

* Phoenix (this one is an actual baby name, so I don’t find it unusual), Buck (again, a completely normal name, but Bucky might be a more common/normalized version), and Fox (again, an actual name, probably popularized by the X Files)

YTA, you should be kinder. FWIW, Fern is a lovely name that will work well in adulthood. I had a friend growing up named Rowan, and she loved her name. She seems to like less common nature names with a bit of a unisex vibe. Why not look through some nature names together? As long as it works for an adult, she is the one carrying the baby for nine months.

YTA,
Youre allowed to not like her name choices, and shes allowed to not like yours. Youre allowed to veto one another – but not to be mean to each other

Like I totally understand where youre coming from with wanting a more traditional name because of bullying, however, its 2023 – a more “traditional name” may actually be the odd one out. Tons of kids have unique names now.

Try putting your lists together – and saying the names out loud together like one of your list then one from hers then your last name. So maybe youll come up with a nice sounding first – middle compromise from each list

r/tragedeigh I highly recommend

NTA. You don’t sound like you were that rude; you only said the names were “ridiculous.” I think she overreacted. Maybe there was something in your tone of voice that made you sound ruder. Otherwise, it doesn’t sound like she had any reason to cry.

Personally, I think most of her names are monumentally stupid. So I might’ve been ruder to her than you were. I thought your compromise choices were sensible. Though I can’t see what was wrong w/her suggestions of Fern or Quincy. Fern’s a pretty “American heartland” type of name (name of the girl in Charlotte’s Web).

And BTW. Don’t think that a “regular” name will keep your kid safe from being bullied. Even if a kid’s named “Tom Smith” a bully will find a way.

Reminds me of a guy I knew who, in his punk rock days, named his dog “Satan.” He thought it was funny. When he got a bit older, he became embarrassed and changed the name. Don’t let this happen to your kid!

NTA. It needed to be said. As long as it wasn’t more over the top than this post implies, I think you’re good. But now that she knows, don’t harp on it too much – just veto ones you hate and try and find a great name in between traditional & unique.

One of my favorites is Finley, or Finn! Since I see a lot of F/Ph names I thought I’d throw it out. Close to her suggestions but more traditional. Or maybe find names that mean fox, or mean phoenix, etc. I bet you’ll be able to find names close to her ideas that are more middle-of-the-road.

INFO: are y’all having a baby, or a puppy? These are pets names. Diesel? Lord..

The only names on your list that don’t seem basically normal are Diesel ( knew a kid with that name. Just as bad as car makes and models for names. Just don’t.) And Brixtyn and purely spelling on that last one. Spelling makes kids’ lives miserable.

Oh, wait…the absolute worst was Buchanan. Hands down. Are you trying to be JFK?

The names aren’t the problem here, these are tame, mostly spelled with sense, and easily acceptable to school kids. The problem is how you spoke to your wife.

YTA You seem to think you’re better than she is and she’s “tacky and silly.” The way you were talking I expected apostrophes and extra, superfluous vowels. Start planning how you’re going to apologize and compromise or start thinking how “tacky” joint custody is.

edit: you are right about Zoomer though. It’s the name of a magazine for old people who travel.

My wife and I couldn’t agree on a name for our daughter, so we bought a huge book of baby names and a six-pack of sharpies. Both of us got full veto power and we each went to the book and crossed of thousands of names. We were left with a dozen we both liked, and there was no confrontation. Good luck!

Also NTA, anyone who wants to name their kid Zoomer needs to be stopped at any cost.