NTA. Apologize for what? Commenting on her employment status after she commented on yours?

She should have dropped it after you dad declined to intervene. He is your parent, she is not, it’s not her place.

That being said however, you’re 24. I assume you’re still living with a parent. It wouldn’t be such a bad idea to start working already and fly the nest. You can be a SAHM later.

\*edit for judgement – NTA.

INFO: is there any reason you don’t have a job besides not wanting one?

EDIT: OP already answered this below, she’s independently wealthy

NTA why work if you don’t have to?

INFO: is she unemployed to be a housewife, for medical reasons or something else? What I basically mean to ask is, is her unemployment intentionally and/or permanent? And what about for you?

Because let’s be honest, most people will expect the 24yo unemployed kid to look for a job and/or education (unless there’s a reason not to). But if she is a housewife or disabled or something than nobody is expecting her to get a job.

NTA – it’s like people here have never met anyone with a trust fund. You don’t need a job and she should mind her own business.

I know it’s not socially acceptable to relate yourself in other peoples stories but sometimes it’s the only way I know how to express myself.

When I was your age (said in an old timey voice) My dad got remarried. She was horrid to me. Looking back I can see she was jealous in a weird way. I was daddy’s girl and I don’t think she liked it. Different loves lady! Anyway. We didn’t get along. She would be mean and I’d be snarky back.

My dad asked me to apologize. WTF. He came right out and acknowledge it was 80% her fault and 20% the way I reacted but it was putting him in a bad position and he wanted us both to apologize. We didn’t have to get along but could we please just be civil.

I was livid. I saw red. But i loved my dad more than I disliked her. So i did it. I hated seeing my dad uncomfortable and distressed. She is the best thing that happened to him really.

It’s been 20 years and we still just act civilly. No fairy tale we are the best of friends here. But my dad is so happy and that makes ME happy.

Who gives a flying F\* if she approves of you? Let that roll off. When someone, anyone makes a comment about anything in your life, or any situation arises, ask yourself if it will matter in 5 years. If it won’t, don’t let it bother you. Because life will throw you some serious shit. Don’t let this stuff wear you down.

It is hilarious to read all the comments to OP about “be an adult” “do something with your life” “get a job” etc. etc.
I want to ask the adults who have a job-
1) Do you think you are doing something with your life? Or are you stuck in a dead end race to provide for your lifestyle- whatever it is?
2) If you have a sudden windfall and have the option to not work but the inheritance would last you a few generations, would you do projects or would you continue to work a job? And then tell me how is the OPs choice wrong!

NTA. Monica is worried you’re spending all “her” money, the money she feels entitled to by marrying your dad. Sounds like dad was on your side until she plied him with tears and hurt feelings. Maybe just remind your dad you could be using your trust fund if he prefers, but otherwise, *you* prefer that financial discussions between the two of you remain between the two of you. And offer to apologize on the stipulation that she never interjects her opinion about your job status or finances again. If he’s willing to have that conversation with her, tell her to stay out of it, then a small apology for “any misunderstanding” seems a nominal price to pay for peace.

NTA. It’s not her business what your dad does you’re his child, she’s not paying for you and is also unemployed.

ESH

She intimated that you’re lazy, and you intimated that she’s a gold digger at best and a prostitute at worst.

Monica is an AH for pushing you about employment after your father declined to push it, but I get what she’s doing, and ~~she’s probably~~ **she thinks she’s** doing the right thing, trying to get you moving forward in life. But she’s not your parent. Your dad should be doing this.

You’re an AH for essentially calling Monica a whore.

ESH, but you much more than her.

NTA tell your dad you are willing to accept her apology and apologize back.

NTA

She just found out you have claws too. Apologise to appease your dad, but don’t back down with Monica if she starts getting on her high horse again.

Nice comeback, by the way. Hypocrites really shouldn’t get in other peoples faces if they don’t want backlash.

Wait, am I understanding correctly, you basically said she’s a whore ?

ESH. By dragging this out you’re going to alienate your dad, just apologise for his sake. If it happens again then you’ll have him on your side but being stubborn now you’re putting that at risk. It’s his house and he’s asked you to apologise, she was being annoying but you were flat out rude.

INFO: were you implying that she was a gold digger/sex worker with your comment about her “earning her money”?

I initially said n-t-a but based on your other comments it seems like that’s what you’re implying which would make the situation different.

You are guest there and situation cause issues for him so i would say apologize even when it wasnt her bussiness to push you.

YTA for acting like there’s something shameful about “earning” your money by having it bestowed on you by some guy because of his relationship to you, because you’re in exactly the same boat as her. Just tell her you’re not going to engage anymore if she tries to talk to you about work because you are not interested in the topic.

I hope you’re not sitting there thinking you’re somehow better than her because the men who gave you your money did it because the sex involved happened a generation or two above yours.

Rich people problems. Too many people expecting to be financially supported & enabled by this one man. This is what “privilege” looks like. It’s petty competitive combat between greedy, selfish people.

I can’t even relate to this in hypothetical terms.

INFO: Are you living at your dads beach house? You mentioned “when they go home.”