So yesterday I was sitting at dinner at our college dining hall with a friend of mine, a guy I met from my class, and his friend. His friend was fine at first but gradually he became the most annoying person I’ve ever met, lemme explain.
He constantly interrupted everyone at the table, told stories that were completely unrelated to the stories being shared at the time, and everything that came out of his mouth was about him. Literally nobody else. No questions, no comments about what someone previously had said, just what he wants to say next about HIM.
This man was 23 acting like a 10 year old.
By around what felt like the fifth time he interrupted me, he proceeded to cut my friend off when she was right in the middle of a story with some bullshit. I said “excuse me, my friend was talking.” He said sorry. And fucking continued to interrupt us when we were talking.
I was ready for this dinner to be over since he already ruined it, and his friend could tell we were done with his social incompetence. His friend said they had to go and we breathed a sigh of relief. As we were leaving, he tried to hug me and I dodged the hug.
He said something along the lines of “this was really fun, I want to ask for your number” , hitting on me, and I just said seriously? no. He said why not. I hesitated, looked at my friend, and told him the truth. That he was rude all night long, constantly interrupted us, and did not seem to understand any social cues.
He seemed visibly upset and his friend shook my hand and they walked off. Every part of that man made me uncomfortable to my core, his behavior was just horrible. I wish you could’ve seen his behavior to understand what I mean. I promise you I’m not overreacting; usually people like this seem ignorable but he was speaking every five seconds.
My friend told me she understood why I said that but it was really bitchy of me and that I need to work on my reactions. I told her that I was so done by the end of the night with his audacity and blindness that I snapped. I feel pretty bad, but at the same time, our other roommates told us that I was being reasonable after I explained the situation.
My friend said that “I shouldn’t put effort into pleasing weird men or making them feel comfortable.” I still feel shitty.
Update, I blocked his snapchat account and he dmed me on instagram. I am so done with this creep. Like I didn’t even know that people like this existed
Conclusion
The story ends with a surprising twist, leaving the protagonist feeling conflicted but ultimately validated. You’ll have to read to find out how this awkward encounter escalated and what lessons were learned in the end. Did the protagonist make the right call, or was it a bridge too far?
Here’s how people reacted:
NTA and your friend is way off base. Do you want more Andrew Tate’s in the world? That’s how you make more AT’s. Anyway, he demanded to know why you weren’t interested, so you told him.
Don’t ask a question if you can’t handle the answer.
My friend said that “I shouldn’t put effort into pleasing weird men or making them feel comfortable.”
This friend is correct!
Doesn’t sound like your the AH. If someone was being rude and cutting everyone off all dinner I would feel the same way. I think you “snapped” after he asked for your number, I hate when this happens and it’s really awkward to say no but also you shouldn’t have to give someone your number that makes you uncomfortable. Good for you it’s probably the first time anyone corrected the guy or called him out on his behavior.
That bahaviour is a massive pet peeve of mine. You did him a favour by letting him know what he dis wrong. It’s up to him now to see if he can fix his shitty social habits.
Ew. If your friend feels so bad for him, *she* can give him her number. Oh, she doesn’t want to do that? Of course she doesn’t. And of course you don’t.
Aaaaand now he’s stalking you. Of course. You may need to bring this to the attention of your university.
Always trust your gut. This man made you feel a way, and you should trust the feeling.
My ex-husband was an over talker, it was miserable. He would never stop, no matter the subject, either he was an expert, or his buddy was an expert. I now see that he acted this way because he was nothing but a wimpy little boy who needed to show others he wasn’t.
Maybe he listened to your feedback, maybe he didn’t, either way you don’t have to put up with him.
Continue to trust your gut when people creep you out. Your job in life is not to make yourself feel worse in order to make other people feel better.
NTA.
Kidding. NTA. If you’d stood up to leave and just unloaded on him about everything, I’d say ah. You said bye. He tried to HUG you [what?] and then asked for your number, you declined. The *moment* he kept pushing with “why not” the gates are open. You said no–end of discussion. You don’t have to validate or justify that.
You weren’t rude or aggressive–you were honest. Hopefully he’s self aware enough to take what you said in, after the initial sting dies down. Hopefully, the fact that it stung, bc you’re someone he liked, helps it hit home.
Is he neurodivergent? Possibly. But we can’t approach life just letting folks behave badly to us because they just might possibly potentially be. If something’s present I need to be aware of [don’t touch Billy with your left hand, it triggers him and he’ll bite you] make me aware so I understand the interaction.
You feel bad bc you’re not an ah. Stop–you may have given him the teachable moment he needs.
Your reactions are perfectly fine, you refuse to be in the company of strange and inappropriate-acting people. Might hurt their feelings, might save your life.
NTA
When I was 17, someone told me point blank about a behavior of mine that was socially inept. 40 years later, I’m still regularly thankful that they did so. Because of them I was able to grow into a better person, and I shudder to think of what my life would have been like had they not spoke up when I was still young enough to fix it before it became part of my adult reputation.
You did him a favor, and hopefully one day he will be thankful for it.