AITA for generally being rude and insensitive to my in-laws?

A pregnant woman, just days past her due date, seeks refuge at her mother-in-law’s home, but a surprising family feud erupts.
Her sister-in-law, still reeling from a devastating wedding day abandonment, claims a rare diagnosis of ’emotional infertility’ and finds herself triggered by a simple joke.

I am pregnant with my first at the moment, and five days past my due date. My MIL (F57) has kindly offered for my husband (M30) and I to stay with her, as she is much closer to the hospital and it makes more sense. We gladly accepted, but the hitch comes with my SIL (F25) who is also staying with MIL and is very much an attention seeker.

Normally I don’t bother her and she doesn’t bother me, but everyone under the same roof reached boiling point last night.

My SIL was left at the alter seven months ago, and has been devestated by the whole thing. Her horrible ex ran off with another girl on the day of the wedding, and I cannot imagine how she feels. That being said, she has now diagnosed herself with “emotional infertility”.

I am not a doctor to know if this is even real, but she says that it is infertility brought on by extreme emotional trauma. How does she know she has this? She “felt [her] womb break on the wedding day.”

Again, this hasn’t been an issue because I generally steer clear, but I was getting quite uncomfortable at dinner last night after sitting for too long, and made a joke about serving baby an eviction notice. My SIL immediately burst into tears and said that I was lucky to even be able to experience pregnancy, and that my comment shows how ungrateful I am.

I said that I was not ungrateful, I am just uncomfortable and impatient to meet baby. My SIL then started crying harder and said I was rubbing the situation in her face when I know about her emotional infertility, and I was also being insensitive by being so callous as to threaten a baby with eviction.

I told her it was a joke, and she said, “I could never even joke about doing that to someone I am supposed to love.” She also said I clearly lacked the empathy to be a good mom.

I don’t know what came over me, but I just couldn’t listen to this anymore and told everyone that this discussion was all a bit much and I was going to bed. I will admit, normally I help with clearing up and washing, but I just got up and left.

Soon after, my MIL came after me and said that she couldn’t have me in the house unless I apologise to SIL for hurting her feelings, and I apologise to MIL for being a bad house guest and not helping. She said I need to be more understanding if I want to be a successful mother.

MIL said that I had until tomorrow’s dinner to apologise and find a way to make it up to both her and SIL.

When my husband came up, I was telling him what MIL had said, and he agreed with her and said she wouldn’t be out of line for kicking us out. Now I am starting to wonder if I really am being an AH?

Here’s how people reacted:

ItIsNotAManual1984

NTA. You SIL has a mental issue not “emotional infertility”. That does not mean your comments did not hurt her. Most likely they did. however, you can not be walking on eggshells all the time. Your husband should have your back and his behavior i the most concerning. I would move back to your place and tell your MIL and SIL that they can see the baby when they apologize to you.

LowBalance4404

NTA at all. You are 9+ months pregnant. I’d go check into a hotel near the hospital and be done with these people.

Melificent40

NTA. First of all, no medical professional would diagnose any type of infertility for a person who hasn’t, you know, tried to get pregnant on purpose and because they felt an odd sensation in their abdomen during a time of emotional duress. She more likely has displaced grief over the breakup and someone needs to say that. Secondly, evicting the baby is a common joke. Pregnancy is uncomfortable in the late stages and being grateful for something does not require denying reality. Third, who in the hell wouldn’t give someone five days past due a pass on the dishes now and then? Pregnancy isn’t a free pass to do nothing for forty weeks, but when you’re past the due date, you should have some grace on household chores. Fourth, being a parent requires sensitivity, empathy, the ability to selectively tell painful truths, and the ability to just shut down some forms of foolishness. Lastly, your husband has lost his damn mind and should be doing ‘your’ part of kitchen cleanup.

fooledbyasmile

NTA.

1) Your SIL is a drama queen.

2) Your MIL is enabling that mess.

3) Your hubby is spineless and should have stood up for you.

I’d check myself into a hotel near the hospital until I was ready, and I’d tell hubby if he wants to go with he owes YOU an apology.

Wraithowl

NTA! And your husband is so out of line for not supporting you. And you SIL is in a mental state that should be handled with therapy. I’m not a doctor but I was a medic in the Navy, worked in the neonatal ICU, and I was a psychology major in undergrad. Yeah, the human body can do some weird things in response to psychological conditions but there is no such thing as “emotional infertility” and your in-laws should be encouraging her to seek therapy if she really believes this, not enabling these beliefs and behaviors.

tex_gal77

NTA. They are very much AH. You should help clean up at 10 months pregnant? Really, that’s shitty. And what on earth is kookie SIL talking about? She’s currently single so why would infertility even be a topic? She’s not actively trying to get pregnant. You guys need to just go home and deal with what that entails. And your husband needs a lesson in caring for the mother of his child – not his AH mother.

ConfusedAt63

Your husband is a real winner! Your husband didn’t stick up for you? Past your due date and you are supposed to be nice to a cry baby?

PhiniusGestor

Girl NTA. Your SIL needs therapy and I would say you “snapped” in a very level headed and reasonable way. I would personally not have left it at “this is all a bit much” and leaving quietly, kudos to you

In all seriousness she needs to do something proactive with her “emotional fertility” like I don’t know … going to a medical specialist, rather than using everyone around her as a crutch

mynameisnotsparta

1. Go to a hotel near hospital get out of there
2. Your SIL can apologize to you for making a big deal about the joke. She has no idea what you are feeling. You are 5 days late and have a more rights than her
3. Am really wondering why we’re not allowed to joke around about things because it might hurt somebody’s feelings – it’s time for people to start sucking it up.. your sister-in-law is imagining things she’s not even diagnosed she had a horrible break up and she is going through trauma, but that doesn’t mean that you need to be on walking on Glass because of her
4. Your mother-in-law shit shake up your sister-in-law and tell her the world doesn’t revolve around her.
5. Tell your husband that if he doesn’t agree with you and back you up he doesn’t need to be in the delivery room

AlarmingResist3564

NTA but your MIL and her golden child sure are. So is your husband to be honest. Did he think saying you lacked empathy to be a good mom was appropriate?! I’d pack my bags and tell them they can meet the baby after they all apologize!

Papadasshole

NTA! What kind of weirdo family did you merry into? And shame on your husband for not having your back.

Content-Plenty-268

NTA. You did not make your SIL cry — she made herself cry because of a nonexistent condition she just made up. A womb does not “break” from grief, it’s not like a flower vase inside her. “Emotional infertility” is not a thing. Her theatrics upset you, already overdue and uncomfortable, and you needed to lie down. What your MIL piled on you is cruel and nasty. That your husband took her side is a big problem and this is a very bad time for it. I’m sorry. I hope the baby comes soon and everybody lightens up, although I wouldn’t count on your SIL.

Suspicious-Pack5880

NTA you should have your husband read the replies and see how mad everyone is at him lol
Your SIL and MIL are totally out of line and your husband doesn’t sound like he has your back at all. I hope this isn’t a habit of his, letting his family bully you into submission to “keep the peace”. He is emasculating himself and it’s sad to see, hope he steps up before he effectively ruins what respect you have left for him. The fact that he would let his mommy and sister make you feel like shit for not letting them insult you and degrade you over a regular/ not even controversial joke, is joke within itself. I wouldn’t stay there for my own sanity

CalligrapherFair3678

Sounds like your husband’s entire family needs therapy. I would have snapped much earlier. NTA

Shes_Crafty_4301

You have my permission to leave the house. No apologies are necessary. Get a hotel near the hospital if you must, but you don’t need this bullshirt. I wish you a safe delivery, and a healthy baby. Good luck. NTA.

leswill315

NTA, but leave the in-laws and go back to your house. It was insensitive of your MIL to have you stay with them when her own daughter is so emotionally fragile. There was nothing wrong with your comment. I felt the same way when I was pregnant. Your SIL’s situation is heartbreaking. I can’t imagine the devastation of being left at the alter, but that was not YOUR fault. She obviously needs a lot of support and healing. I hope she’s getting therapy because it sounds like she needs it. Go home and let the in-laws visit when the baby is born. Offer for SIL to come, too, but that may be more than she can handle. Tell your spouse that you are the one he needs to support right now. Pregnancy and child rearing isn’t for sissies. He needs to have your back.

myoldisnew

NTA but sadly your husband and his family are. They need to apologize to YOU. I wouldn’t let their craziness be around my child.

Trippedwire48

Absolutely NTA, but husband, MIL, & SIL are tied for AH. Your husband needs to have your back. His mother is threatening to kick you out and he’s agreeing with her?! I’d be packing up and finding a hotel or going home tomorrow. The joke you made was a pretty common joke for expectant mothers who are close to or past their due dates. Also, you, the heavily pregnant guest should not be helping clear the table, etc. Your husband can do ‘your part’.

SIL is mentally ill, at best, for diagnosing herself with something she’s in no way qualified to do. It sounds like she had an article about emotional infertility and decided she has it. MIL and husband are just enabling her. The poor woman needs to go into therapy, not be projecting on everybody else.

I’d tell them SIL needs to get help before she can see the baby and you’ll be awaiting her and MIL’s apologies also. I’m usually all for communication over conflict, but they’re not being reasonable. Good luck OP!

Top_Bluejay_5323

NTA. Call a friend and go home. Go home! Tell your husband to stay as he has some thinking to do.

Furthermore tell your sister in law that she should not plan on visiting until she is over her emotional infertility as it makes her sound unstable. And tell your mother in law that if she can’t understand how she feels being pregnant then maybe she is too old to be a safe grandma and care for the baby.

jellydear

NTA. not even a little

Conclusion

The expectant mother faces an ultimatum from her mother-in-law: apologize or face eviction, leaving her questioning her own actions and readiness for motherhood.
With her husband siding against her, will she swallow her pride and make amends, or stand her ground against the storm of family drama?