AITA for being rude to a customer outside of work?

You won’t believe what happened after this hostess thought her Memorial Day nightmare was over. Just as she flipped the sign to closed, a VIP guest arrived, demanding service and leading to a shocking confrontation. But the drama didn’t end there; fate had an even more unexpected reunion in store.

I am the hostess at a restaurant.

We are open until 3pm and then we close for 2 hours to do turn-over service before dinner at 5pm. Between 3 and 5 you can sit at the bar and have a small menu of appetizer items.

On Memorial Day, which was a horrifically busy day, myself and my seater hostess got to 3pm and with relief we flipped our sign over from “open” to “see bartender between 3-5pm”.

We’d had a reservation at 2pm that never showed up. We sent texts from OpenTable on our iPad, I tried to call twice, no response. Our restaurant policy is to hold the reservation for 15 minutes and then no-show the guest, and that is what I did. In fact, we gave the party an extra ten minutes knowing how hectic Mem.

Day is.

At 3:05pm this party comes into the restaurant as we’re getting our stuff together. From the get-go they are rude and demanding. When I told them we were closed and they could have the bar they got even more rude. Eventually they went outside, took one of my tables anyway, and demanded a server.

I found out from the server that the guest is a VIP, part of a club our restaurant has. I’ve never seen this woman in my life. My manager didn’t give a shit and did not give satisfactory management for this situation and I went home disasstisfied. The customer left a review on OpenTable in which she lied and said I was rude, belligerent, and unaccomodating.

I was nothing but polite to her.

Anyway, I was at the doctor yesterday and she was in the waiting room, too. Kept looking at me. Outside of work I dress down as opposed to make-up and hair and nice clothes for work. She finally asked if she knew me, I said I didn’t think so, she said her name and asked if I recognized it because she could swear she knew me.

I just politely said no, I didn’t recognize her.

Right before my doctor called me back she said, “I remember, oh….”, and gave me a dirty look. I just smiled and said, “yeah, maybe now you know why I was trying to pretend otherwise, because having a conversation with the lady who lied about me on OpenTable for simply doing my job isn’t something I want to do when sitting in the f*cking cardiologist’s office trying to find out what’s wrong with me.”

Then the doctor called me back and I walked away from her. She called my restaurant and complained about me to them. My manager wants a meeting tomorrow.

Was I the asshole?

Here’s how people reacted:

TamWings

NTA You weren’t in work or wearing work uniform so I don’t think you had any obligation to be polite to her. So I don’t think you were an asshole but I do think you were unwise – It probably wasn’t the best choice because you already knew she was they type of woman to complain over nothing and your manager is not going to be thrilled you swore at a ‘VIP’ customer whether you were at work or not. I would check your contract and see if it says anything about bringing the company into disrepute while you’re off the clock.

ObviousArt7432

NTA as others have said go into that meeting with your contract and maybe print the review from Open Table. Tell your manager that you did your best and were professional in the original situation and point out in the review where the woman lied. And ask him to rationalize why this woman harassing you outside of work on your personal time is ok. And if they threaten to fire you (or actually do) for that you’ll seek legal counsel. If at all possible bring a friend to the meeting or ask to record it. Do not allow the manager to manipulate or harass you – insist on transparency.

Bakrbabbies666

NTA!! I agree , play dumb at the meeting and tell them to prove it. You are off the clock, not wearing a uniform, none of their business.

caw81

> cardiologist’s office trying to find out what’s wrong with me.

I hope that its nothing serious. That sort of situation is stressful and I’m sure you didn’t need that distracting encounter/exchange when you were there with a potentially serious medical condition.

anaisaknits

NTA. Off the clock and she kept pushing. If your manager has an issue with it, then he is an asshole along with this entitled woman.

rugaberto

Didn’t even read your post. You’re NTA. Off time is off time

Right-Papaya7743

When you have the meeting, make sure you use the words “harassment” and “Defamation”…

holisarcasm

NTA, but I would play dumb. Say she repeatedly asked you when you were in a doctor’s office where privacy should be paramount. You tried to ignore her and not tell her where she knew her from, but the woman recognized you. Then, knowing you have a medical issue she contacted your employer to complain about you more. Make sure to tell them that you feel stalked by this patron and are not comfortable dealing with her since she was willing to harass in public, outside of work, while in a facility where you should have some privacy.

wramenn

Does being in the work force mean you must be nice to people 24/7? That’s dumb, NTA. That lady was never told no as a child

pamsquatch

NTA I once had a customer at the Applebees I went to for drinks after my shift at Red Lobster eavesdrop on our group and fill out a nasty comment card about a bunch of Red Lobster waitresses drinking, smoking, swearing and complaining about their customers.She wrote it out on Applebees comment card and then went across the street and put it in the Red Lobster comment card box ( pre internet life) I wasn’t even in uniform but a couple of the girls were. Luckily the manager thought it was hilarious.

Malibucat48

NTA Restaurants are desperate for help. The woman had no right to talk to you outside of work, especially at a doctor’s office. Just quit because of their rude customer and get a job where you are appreciated.

myfamilylawatty

Given that it is very reasonable that you were in a state of heightened distress while waiting in a cardiologist’s office to find out if you have a life-threatening condition when a strange woman spoke to you about a work incident from several days ago, any rudeness that she may have perceived was certainly accidental and not something that you would even remember clearly. Obviously you were fully focused on your health and nothing else. It is unfortunate that she misinterpreted your distraction and emotional upset while waiting to be called back to see the doctor but it seems more that she decided to harass you while you were in a vulnerable state than you doing anything improper. (How does that sound?)

Kaitlyn_The_Magnif

NTA of course, but this certainly could be against your employer’s policies. They could very well fire you or discipline you for this, even though the customer was a biatch.

olivetheelement

Why isn’t anyone in here suggesting OP complain about being harassed to the doctor’s office? Lady complaining to manager about something that happened at a medical office is really sketchy, could be some privacy violation in there OP could throw at workplace if things escalate.

IamNotTheMama

NTA – and good for you

Also, hope things turn out OK at the cardiologist

Eastern_Fox5735

NTA obviously. You have no obligation to this random woman when you’re not being paid for it.

Customers need to get it through their heads that customer service people are being *paid* to be nice to them, and that niceness ends where off-hours begin.

Iliveinacrypt

NTA

I didn’t even speak to her yesterday? I’m starting to feel so harassed by her. What is management going to do to resolve this?

Corduroycat1

NTA They have no proof and therefore it did not happen. Just say yes, you saw her. She made a face at you, but you did not say anything to her. She cannot prove otherwise

Trini1113

NTA. She’s harassing you at your cardiologist’s office, and complaining to your boss about it. I think you really need to complain to your cardiologist about her using their waiting room to bully their patients. It might not get anywhere, but I think she has more to lose – these days, good cardiologists are harder to find than good restaurant jobs.

ArtemisStrange

NTA. Your manager sucks. Your private life is private.

Conclusion

Talk about karma coming full circle! This hostess got the last laugh in a truly unforgettable encounter. See how this story of rude customers and unexpected run-ins finally reached its satisfying conclusion.