NTA. Her being on a diet doesn’t mean other people diet as well.

If she can’t eat chips, that’s fine. It doesn’t sound like other people are trying to force her to eat them. But if her argument is “I’m on a diet so chips can’t be in the house”, that only flies if it’s her house. If she wants to control what food is her residence, then she would need to be the sole person paying for the residence.

Look, in terms of the general topic of the conflict you’re NTA, but it sounds like your concern is that you might have used some hurtful phrasing or tone, and simply could have handled it better, even if you’re in the right on the general topic, and that’s something I don’t think this sub is in a position to judge. It’s too context specific, and tone doesn’t come across in text.

NTA, but she should be talking to both her physician and a therapist as well as a dietician if she wants to actually do this in a healthy and sustainable manner. If she actually has some kind of ED then it might be very helpful in the short term to minimize her exposure to trigger foods, but that doesn’t mean everyone has to follow her diet or completely remove those trigger foods from the house.

I’m going to get down voted for this but ESH.

Lucy goes from eating junk food constantly and gaining a lot of weight quickly after you moved in to somebody making fun of her and now she’s suddenly dieting extremely to the point where even seeing other people eating that food is triggering to her and NOBODY thought that maybe she had an eating disorder? Nobody parsed out that maybe she was eating more because she just had a large shift in family dynamics not too long ago and could be stressed/upset? You say that when you tried to talk to her about it the first time she was immediately defensive and now she’s set off by somebody even eating junk food while she’s trying to get healthy. These are concerning behaviors around food and somehow nobody has thought to sit her down and maybe ask why food is a touchy topic for her? Sounds like everybody in this story aside from brother has some growing up to do.

NTA. She’s learning to manage her health and that’s great but she doesn’t get to dictate to other people because she’s following a specific diet.

Holding the entire house hostage because she’s tempted isn’t in any way appropriate.

Commenting on food and weight is a straight away to an ED. You are NTA but please keep this mind when you navigate your relationship with her as this can be very traumatic.

NTA

> told **him** to throw it out because **she’s** trying to lose weight

Lol. No, that’s **not how this works**.

> if what he’s eating is tempting her, she can nicely ask him to put it away

Uh, no. Fuck that noise. I’m even tempted to give you an ESH for suggesting that she has the right to even ask people to not eat what they want around her.

Let her be tempted all day. Temptation doesn’t make you fat.

YTA for ignoring the unhealthy relationship she’s building with food. Do better!

Wondering how one-sided this story is.

ESH.

Teenager gains weight after a change in her home dynamic, her stepmother thinks it appropriate to comment on it, teenager has sudden drastic idea of dieting which seems to involve significant restriction.

Put two and two together here.

Wait people can eat Doritos in moderation? I thought you just eat the entire bag and hate yourself…

yta, you called her snacks crap but phrased your sons snacks and his consumption of them very differently. that’s through your own text, i’m sure your step daughter notices the differences in your affection to him. you can make her feel more supported.

I mean, you obviously don’t like her, maybe it’s that that she minds?

NTA.

But you owe her an apology if you are not proud of the way you spoke to her.

Keep being supportive and she will understand that you are not playing favourites. You are the adult here. Teenagers live their emotions stronger.

Maybe suggest some fun low carb recipies of tasty snacks you could make together? That might make her react less aggressively to others eating junk every now and then.

Diets are hard…. of course you cant force others to follow them, but especially when you start out yourself, temptation is a bit*h… so try to make it easier for her 🙂

YTA. She’s a teenager getting used to a new family dynamic and realizing she hasn’t been taking care of herself. She’s also doing what you originally wanted her to do. You need to support the sh\*t out of this and get Jack onboard too. You only have so much time until this young lady is out of your house. Be someone she can depend on. As a step parent myself, your attitude is really disappointing.

NTA – stepdaughter lives in a world full of temptation. She’s going to have to learn how to navigate that by controlling herself. No amount is managing her environment is going to help if she can’t control her own urges. She’ll just give into them the first chance she gets.

If she wants to make a change like this, it has to come from within her. Honestly, she might benefit from reading about intuitive eating. It creates a positive drive to eat better by listening to what your body needs. It made a tremendous impact on my health.

This is a good way to give her an eating disorder. YTA

NTA – I would urge you to look up orthorexia. It’s disordered eating where one becomes obsessed with healthy eating. I’ve struggled with it in the past, and it can be very difficult to identify that moment when you’ve gone past health consciousness into an unhealthy obsession. It sounds like you might not be able to broach the subject with your stepdaughter, but maybe her dad could have a heart-to-heart with her if you think it fits her behavior.

I’m gonna go against the grain here and say YTA. Losing weight is friggin hard for a teen. It is even harder when you have people eating junk food around you and that’s the stuff you used to crave. Maybe I’m a bid jaded as I’ve recently worked with teens who are well on their way to diabetes, bariatric surgery and weight loss drugs and see how hard they struggle. One of the things that helps the best is a house free of junk food/snack food/sugary beverages. Conversely the teens in households where other members of the family continue to eat junk food/snack food/whatever really struggle. And tbch it is very unusual where there is only one overweight person in the house, usually the entire family can benefit from a bit of clean eating.

Its almost like having an early stage recovering alcoholic live with you and you wave their favorite drink in front of them.

NTA. She controls what she eats, not what others do. You even offered her the example of politely asking your son to please eat it away from her.