AITA for being livid at my (now) husband?

She thought she had a picture-perfect wedding day planned, but one small request turned into a major drama. This bride specifically told her new husband one thing she absolutely did not want, and shockingly, he did the exact opposite, leaving her fuming. You won’t believe how this newlywed’s ‘perfect’ day took a disastrous turn.

My (33F) husband (30M) and I got married last week. I had been super chill throughout the whole wedding planning, and during the actual event. Because I know sh*t happens and if anything goes wrong, or not exactly how we wanted, it’s not that big of a deal and may even make the wedding more memorable for the guests.

The one thing that I told my husband I didn’t want to happen was I didn’t want him smashing cake in my face. I had a suspicion that he would find it funny to do it, so during the planning, I flat out told him not to do it. I don’t think it’s funny, I don’t want to mess up my makeup that took hours to apply, and I don’t want cake on my expensive wedding dress.

I told him I would be livid if he did it.

He promised that he wouldn’t.

Well, come the cake cutting time, what did he do? Smashed the cake in my face! It got on my dress, and messed up my makeup, just like I knew it would. I’m pretty sure his friends convinced him to do it, not that that makes it any better. I kept it together, went and cleaned myself up, and put on a smile for the rest of the reception.

But afterwards, I let loose on him. I yelled at him that this was the ONE THING I asked him not to do, and he promised that he wouldn’t. He told me I was being dramatic, that it’s not a big deal, and we should just be enjoying our time as newlyweds. So was I being overly dramatic?

AITA?

Here’s how people reacted:

procrastinating_b

NTA

You: don’t do this ONE thing

Him: does it

You: are livid

Him: surprised pikachu face

bonniebluest

NTA. You asked for one thing and he didnt listen… What he did was so disrespectful and sets the tone for the rest of your marriage. And he doubled down by saying you’re being dramatic instead of apologizing. I’d be livid too!

CakeEatingRabbit

You should’ve made a scene honestly.

NTA

And instead of apologising telling you, that he stands behind that action is honestly even worse. He does not reget it. He lied to you and did something he know would hurt your feelings and now tells you he still doesn’t care.

I honestly don’t now where I would go from here. Therapy maybe?

RxTechRachel

What worries me isn’t that he did the cake smashing itself.

It is his response back to you.

He should have apologized and listened to you, and really realized his mistake. Instead, he diminished your very valid feelings and reasons.

Has he apologized yet? For calling you over dramatic?

NTA.

billlevansatmariposa

This is a variant on the classic “It was just a joke” when the butt of the joke is far from amused.

Please consider an anullment. This jackass doesn’t have enough empathy to realize the implications of the concept that you, too, are a human being.

NTA.

stainglassaura

Welcome to your future Ma’am.

Nta.

bizianka

Is it not too late for annulment? NTA.

Capital_Ad3482

NTA

You married a child

Kitsune_Scribe

NTA, but I have a feeling divorce is in the future. It’s not a guarantee, but it always seems to correlate. Smash wedding cake w/o consent = Divorce

sekhenet

Nta. Bad start for him by disregarding your wishes and not respecting you.

nothisTrophyWife

You had one boundary, and he broke it. He acted like a child and doesn’t want to be called out on it…sooooo, he’s saying that YOU are being dramatic. There’s an AH here, but it isn’t you.

yesnomaybe123

NTA

It’s a dumb tradition that needs to go away. You asked for one thing and he couldn’t respect that. Ugh.

holosexual90

NTA. For my wedding my hubs and I discussed that silly tradition too. And we both agreed it was stupid. But thought we should still give our guests a little enjoyment during that part. So we opted to instead feed each other our slice of cake. It was a sweet moment and made for really cute photos. No cake smashing involved. There was however a frosting mustache haha. But a kiss or two took that off. And again the photos for that were adorable.

Highly recommend it as an alternative for anyone out there with impending nuptials.

boniemonie

NTA. But the fact that he totally ignored your wishes is a very worrying sign. He both broke a promise and ignored your boundaries. Not at all cool.

YeaRight228

I don’t normally say this, but divorce him.
If he can’t accept boundaries at your own wedding I wouldn’t expect it to get better.
NTA

jmgeo

NTA. That’s a stupid “tradition” that is completely disrespectful, especially when you asked him not to and he promised. It’s also a huge red flag.

pnb10

NTA. It’s y’all’s wedding and he’s already showing red flags? Whew

CommunicationOdd9406

NTA. I’d expect reimbursement for everything he ruined for starters. But honestly, I’d be so pissed he disrespected me like that. How can he fix that. He ruined the wedding for you and didn’t even care.

MersWhaawhaa

NTA.

He was a complete tool and now after disregarding your feelings he decides to tell you that your feelings don’t matter and that you have no right to be upset?

You both need to figure out where you stand now.

Never understood why any sane person would want to do something so spiteful to a partner. The “tradition” approach is an utter BS excuse.

Pleasant_Birthday_77

NTA. What did he think was going to happen? That you’d be fine with it after making it very clear that you would not be fine with it? If you are not enjoying your time as newly weds, it’s entirely down to his behaviour.

Conclusion

The bride’s ‘dream wedding’ was shattered by a moment of alleged disrespect from her new husband, leaving everyone questioning if she’s overreacting. Was it a harmless prank or a sign of bigger issues to come? The newlyweds’ first days of marriage are off to a rocky start, and the internet is divided on who is in the wrong.